As someone who studied psychology in college and has always been fascinated by human behavior, I understand the importance of “fitting in” and being accepted. It’s just a human necessity.
This can mean social acceptance, which is important for psychological and mental health. But, what about not fitting into generalized education and expectations?
We are taught in our education system the information that we must be able to master to move onto the next level. But, what if your strengths and potential aren’t highlighted in those generalized areas? Are you just doomed to failure?
This is exactly what happened to me and what I know a lot of people struggle with. My strengths and potential were not highlighted in generalized education and expectations. I struggled in high school. When I say struggled, I mean STRUGGLED. I failed about 90% of the tests I took. I quite literally passed high school with test corrections and test retakes.
I couldn’t figure out what was wrong with me. I did everything that I was told I needed to do to master and understand the material. I studied hard. I tried all the techniques. I went into school early to get help and stayed after school. I did all the things and still couldn’t get it figured out.
I remember wanting to be successful so bad. But, there were times when I just thought that I wasn’t smart enough and didn’t have what it took to reach a level of success that I had always envisioned for myself. At that time, I wanted to get my doctorate in psychology. It was always a goal in the back of my mind. But, how could I possibly expect to get my doctorate when I was BARELY passing high school?
There were so many times when I was so frustrated because I just wanted to be smart like everyone else. I didn’t want to feel “dumb” and incapable.
What I didn’t realize at the time, is that I was completely capable of success, it just looks a little bit different than the majority of people. I have unique talents and expertise that makes me just as capable of success. I just had to work a little harder and go through some extra hoops to figure it out.
Our system teaches us that everything is going to be accomplished in a straight, linear line. There’s no telling what will happen if/when it doesn’t work out that way. So, when your life doesn’t progress like we thought it would, we immediately think that something is wrong.
Something is wrong with me.
You go to school, get a degree, get a job, work until retirement. You’ll make enough money to get by, but never enough to be truly satisfied. That’s just life, right? That’s just the way it is.
But, what if there’s something more? I believe there is. You can read more about my opinion on this in my post about Why I’m Proud of Millennials and Proud To Be One.
I envision a fantasy life that I believe is completely attainable.
OK- call me crazy here if you want, but hear me out! I want to create something for myself, a life that I truly love living. I want to wake up every single morning, excited for the day ahead of me. I want my work to energize me, maybe even feel like I’m not really doing “work”. Who doesn’t want that?! We’ve created a world where it’s just not realistic to truly go after your dreams and enjoy a life that you truly enjoy living!
Related: 9 Simple Tips to Improve Your Life, 9 things to stop doing to get the most out of life
I believe that it’s time we start living life the way we want to & actually enjoy it. We have one life here on earth. One body to live in, what’s the point if we aren’t actually enjoying it?!
I believe in a world that isn’t micromanaged by society.
A world that allows you to be who you are and make the impact that you are meant to make. Whatever that looks like for each person. Whether that means with a degree or no degree. We were all put on this earth for a reason and I believe that it is possible to live out that dream.
We’re taught that dreams are meant to be just that… Dreams. Why stop here if you aren’t happy with what you’re doing? There’s no manual for life and there’s not one way to live it. Just because it’s what society says you should do with your life, doesn’t mean it’s the only way!
If you hate what you do and dread Mondays, why not go on a journey to finding something that truly energizes you?
Now, to get to the point of this whole post & to bring my rant back to the point. You don’t have to stay where you are if you aren’t happy.
Related: How to improve your mindset
For me, I’ve always wanted to make a difference in people’s lives. I knew that was my calling from a young age. It fires me up and makes me feel amazing. But, my original career path that I embarked on was not able to fulfill this for me. Even the business I’ve created at times. Sometimes, you have to be able to understand when and where it’s time to make a change.
At the end of the day, you are in control of your life. Only you are fully in control of your life.
It’s h a r d and frustrating to figure out what in the world you are supposed to be doing on earth. You feel like there’s only so many times you can fail and get back up without getting completely discouraged. Fearing that you just might make a complete fool of yourself.
We’ve all been there and we don’t like it. But, at some point, it’s time to put pen to paper and really dig into who you are as a person. What you are meant to be doing on this earth. Sometimes, your journey doesn’t look like what others look like and that is completely fine!
At this point, you might be utterly confused or maybe you’re energized! I just want you to enjoy life & really get the most out of your time here on earth. So… how do you create a life that you truly love? I’m laying out those juicy deets in this post, so keep reading!
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What are some of your unique talents?
Like, really unique. We all have unique talents that makes us who we are and makes us so special. We all have something special & incredible to offer the world.
There was one part of You Are A Badass: How To Stop Doubting Your Greatness And Start Living An Awesome Life by Jen Sincero that really sticks out to me and I think is incredibly important.
She’s talking about going after your dreams, because someone out there needs what you have to offer. Sometimes our dreams seem so out of reach that we don’t really think about even trying to take action on them.
Have you ever thought about what life would look like if you incorporating the things that you really enjoy? Give this some thoughts & see what you come up with!
Related: 8 ways you are probably holding yourself back without even realizing it, Simple tips to have more confidence in yourself, Gaining confidence to be your true, authentic self
What is something really energizes you?
This question seems really simple & easy, but it can be a tricky question. I know that it was for me when I was trying to figure out what it is that I really wanted to do. If you are having a hard time coming up with ideas, you can always reach out to friends/family & get an idea of what you are really good at! When I asked friends & family, I got back things, “you’re really easy to talk to”, “you always know what to say when I need help”. Those answers helped me realize that life coaching is a career that I would really enjoy!
Just having conversations with people that know you can open up your eyes to ideas that you might not of thought of before!
What are you really passionate about?
This can be anything! Think hard about this because I think it’s really important to be able to incorporate the things that you are truly passionate about in your everyday life. This doesn’t necessarily have to be in terms of your career, but just any hobby or anything that you really love!
What does your dream life look like?
We all have a dream life that we think about, but don’t always think it’s attainable so we don’t even think about trying to act upon them. Think reallll hard about what this life looks like for you!
If you could do anything & be anything, what would that look like? What would you do if there was nothing stopping you?
How attainable is your dream life?
Like I already mentioned, we often think that our “dream life” isn’t really attainable, so we don’t even try to take any action to reach that dream life status. I used to think the exact same way until I started realizing that I am completely in control of the trajectory of my life.
I bet that your dream life isn’t as out of reach as you would think. It’s up to you if you are willing to put in the work, including the mindset work to reach those goals.
Related: How to finally start achieving your goals
>> click here to download my 5 tips for crushing your goals
What actionable steps can you take to start living your ideal life?
What can you start doing TODAY to start making those dreams a reality? Are you going to start buying books and educate yourself more? Are you going to make it a goal to start putting yourself out in the world, jump out of your comfort zone so you can start growing & learning? Hire somebody to help you figure out how you can make those dreams a reality?
Trust me, there are probably simple steps that you can be taking TODAY to start living your dream life & start creating a life you love.
What would you be doing if the generalization of society wasn’t holding you back?
Yes, throw away whatever society says you should be doing! Screw that. This is your life and you are in complete control of the outcomes of your life.
Take away everything society says you should be doing and really think about what you would be doing with your life if society didn’t tell you what your life should look like!
Forget about society. Forget about generalization. This is all about YOU and what YOU want to get out of life! <3
At the end of the day, I think that it is really important to really think about what it is that we really love to do and are passionate about. I think that the pressure that comes with the generalization of society can hold us back and make us feel like we can’t live a life that we truly love and makes us happy.
Life doesn’t always progress the way we are taught and doesn’t always look the same as everyone around us. The important thing to remember is to be true to yourself and not let the potential judgements & criticisms hold you back from living your life to the fullest. I believe it is possible, many people have done it before and many people are going to continue doing it.
The time is now to REALLY live your life! <3
>> Self Care Planning Worksheet
>> 50 Journal Prompts For Self Reflection & Self Discovery
>> 5 Tips For Crushing Your Goals
Xx,
Coach Jessie Shibko
Nice post! Really inspirational. We all need some belief in our strength to not be addicted to other people meanings.
Yes, very true!!