choose yourself first – Blissfully jess

9 Simple Tips to Improve Your Life

My belief: how you feel about yourself, show up for yourself & what you choose to focus on determines what you get out of life. We all have the power within ourselves to get the most out of life, but we are often the ones holding ourselves back.

I believe the base foundation to getting the most out of life starts from within. It starts with challenging yourself & believing in yourself.

I believe that we are the ones holding ourselves back and we have the control to shift how we show up for ourselves & truly love our life. At the end of the day, what is the point of life if you don’t love it?

We have one shot at this life.
We are all so lucky to be here.
We have the power inside of us to really make an impact on the world & live life the way WE want to.

Doesn’t that sound amazing?

In this post, I am sharing my 9 simple tips that you can start implementing TODAY to start working toward living your best life ❤ Let’s dig in!

Create healthy habits

The more you take care of yourself, the better you will feel.

These habits might look different for different people, but some ideas include (definitely not limited to):

Moving your body
Feeding your body healthy foods
Picking up a book instead of watching so much TV
Making it a goal to park further away in the parking lot so you can get in extra steps

When you take the time to engage in some simple habits, you are more likely to start feeling better about yourself. Incorporating simple healthy habits throughout your day can make a HUGE impact on how you feel overall.

Sometimes, it can often cause a ripple effect. Meaning, one simple habit is likely to lead to another, and another, and another.

CREATE helpful ROUTINES

Create a morning routine

We’ve all heard all about how setting a solid morning routine is incredibly important for starting the day. I don’t believe there’s one “perfect” morning routine universal for everyone. What works really well for me might not work for you and vice versa and that’s OK! But, I do think it’s important for everyone to set one for themselves & test out different strategies to figure out what that ideal morning routine looks like.

The thing about routines is that they change often. They change with us, when certain life shifts happen. For me, it’s changed many times over the years & especially with starting my own business working from home.

Personally, I’m a BIG morning person. I’m definitely one of those “annoying morning people” that people like to complain about. I just think mornings are so peaceful, especially early mornings. I love getting up early before the sun and taking my time to get ready for the day because how I spend my mornings definitely sets the tone for how the rest of the day is going to be.

Create an evening routine

I talk about this importance of self care & creating a solid morning routine, but having a solid night routine is just as important. Your night routine is important because it allows you to prepare for the next day!

After some trial & error with my night routine, I have figured out a routine that works for me and makes sure that I am getting the sleep I need & preparation that I need.

Journal

I talk about journaling often, but I do because I wholeheartedly believe in it. I believe in the therapeutic nature of getting everything out of your head and onto paper.

Many success stories & successful people include journaling constantly to get everything out of their subconscious & work through what is going on.

This can help with working through any limiting beliefs you might have, what is bothering you right now. It can help you have breakthroughs & “aha!” moments.

If you are struggling with what to write about, I wrote a post on 50 Journal Prompts For Self Reflection & Self Discovery that you might find helpful! Inside that post is also a free printable guide that you can download! ❤

So, grab your journal and get to writing!

Express gratitude daily

Expressing gratitude daily is something that I recently started incorporating into my routine and I have seen a huge difference in how I feel overall. Often, we are so used to going about our days complaining about things that we don’t have in our lives & getting frustrated with the inconveniences. But, taking the time everyday to list 3-5 things that you are thankful for can change your entire perception of what is going on.

When you start shifting your mindset & the perception around what you are focusing on, it will seriously change how you show up for yourself everyday.

I don’t just mean express the same obvious things every day- like your parents, friends, etc. Which are all great to be grateful for, but I mean challenging yourself to take the time to show gratitude for simply being alive, your healthy body, having access to clean water, the sun coming up this morning, even all of the road blocks & learning experiences.

I personally love The Five Minute Journal!

I love this journal because it’s quick & gets right to the point. I’ve been using this journal for a couple years now and it’s really good for getting you in the habit of expressing gratitude.

You have prompts to write about at the start of the day and a reflection to do at the end of the day. The page starts off with a quote or a “weekly challenge”, followed by having you list 3 things you’re grateful for, 3 things that would make the day great and a daily affirmation.

Then, at the end of the day, you reflect on how the day went. Having you write about 3 things that went well and listing what would have made the day better. Even on those days that you feel didn’t go so well, this really helps to be able to find some positives in what you might think there aren’t any.

I love this journal & highly recommend you get your hands on it! ❤

Get rid of excuses

Ah, yes. Good ol’ excuses. We are constantly making excuses for ourselves, even when we don’t even notice it.

“I don’t have time”
“I don’t have what it takes”
“I will never be able to be successful”
“I’m not pretty enough”
“I’m not good enough”
“Nothing ever works out for me”

Whether you want to believe it or not, those are all excuses. They are all excuses holding yourself back from living your life to the fullest. They are excuses that keep you right where you are.

In order to get the most out of life, you have to get rid of those constant excuses for not showing up fully for yourself.

Get rid of comparison to others

Comparing yourself to someone else is the fastest way to halt any possibility to get the most out of life. However, I understand that it is so much easier said than done to get rid of this comparison.

Take yourself out of situations where you are going to compare yourself to others while you work on yourself. Once you can your power back from other people, that’s when they magic can really begin.

Face your fears

A lot of people don’t reach their full potential because they are letting fear win. They stay in their comfort zone forever because they think it’s better than what potentially could happen if they get uncomfy.

What is something that you really want to do, but you know there is a possibility that it could take you to the next level?

Do that. Be okay with failing because that’s where growth happens.

Set attainable goals

Setting goals is something that I have always struggled with because I wasn’t doing it right. I always focused on the big picture goal- the goal that may or may not be in my control.

When you break your goals down into actionable steps that you can start taking, it’s so much easier to actually reach your goals and feel really good about it.

What can you start doing TODAY to get you to that goal?

Pay attention to what you focus on

PROTECT YOUR ENERGY! Create an awareness around where you are choosing to place your energy. Why are you focusing on that particular thing? Is it helpful? Does it make you feel good or does it make you feel icky?

Mindset & perception are both really important in living your best life. Protect your energy & start creating an awareness around where you are focusing your energy.

You will probably be really surprised how much you are placing your energy in unhelpful places.

YOU have the power inside of yourself to get the most out of this life.
YOU deserve it, babe ❤ I hope you found this to be helpful!

Join The Mindset Movement for more in-depth information & personalized plan for you!

xx,
Jess

Journal Prompts for Self Reflection & Self Discovery

Journaling has become a really important part of my self-care & self-discovery over the years. Especially during stressful times, journaling has helped me with getting everything out of my head and onto paper. I talk about how journaling has helped with my mental health in my post about The Importance of Self Care & The Power of Journaling.

I truly believe in the healing & therapeutic nature of journaling. While I talk about journaling a lot and how helpful it can be, I also understand that you might not know what to write about. I actually completed a journal prompt challenge in my Facebook group throughout April.

The ladies in my Facebook group loved this challenge and mentioned that the prompts helped them with discovering more about themselves and how to better handle stressful situations. Being able to understand more about yourself can be helpful in making sure that you are prepared, ultimately helping you to be able to move forward.

Here are some journal prompts to try out if you are looking to get into journaling and need some guidance:

What limiting beliefs are holding me back?
What habit would I like to break?
How can I love myself more daily?
What do I need to get off my chest today?
How do my worries affect my daily life?
On a scale to 1-10, my mental health is at a ___ because ____
If I could achieve anything in life, what would it be?
How am I feeling today?
What brings me the most peace and balance in my life?
What was my biggest learning moment this week?
How can I be more kind to myself?
What 3 things am I looking forward to this week & why?
I am strong because…
When times get tough, I want to remember that…
What makes me happiest?
What inspires me right now?
What can I do to start taking better care of myself?
What are my stress triggers?
What is something I need to let go of? Why do I think I’m holding onto it?
What would life be like if my stressors weren’t present?
What are alternative ways to handle my stress?
What do I think my mission in life is?
How do I react to negative feelings?
What do I love about myself?
What obstacles have I overcome?
What keeps me motivated?
Where am I putting in too much energy?
Where am I putting in not enough energy?
What are 5 moments in my life when I was truly happy?
What lessons have I learned?
How are you feeling right now? What emotions come up?
List everything that you are worried about right now
What do you look forward to everyday?
How do I handle stressful situations?
If I could achieve anything in life, what would it be?
What do I feel like my life is missing and how can I get more of what I need?
Where do I want to be in 5 years?
When am I the happiest version of me?
What are 3 negative mindsets I need to let go of?
Am I doing all that I can to reach my goals?
What steps can I take to be the most confident version of myself?
If I could be anything in the world, what would it be?
How would I describe the perfect day?
I forgive myself for…
I deserve happiness because…
What are 5 things I’m proud of myself for?
What is most important to me right now?
What are my biggest fears?
What is my favorite quality about myself?
In the next month, I want to…

Want these journal prompts in a printable guide?!

download here

I am also a big advocate for expressing gratitude everyday. I started using The Five Minute Journal 4 days a week in addition to my journaling and I absolutely love it!

I love this journal because it’s quick & gets right to the point. I’ve been using this journal for a couple years now and it’s really good for getting you in the habit of expressing gratitude.

Practicing gratitude will help you with your mindset & what you are focusing on everyday. Focusing what you do have and what you are still in control of. When you focus on what you still have & what you are still in control of, you are more likely to make healthier choices & be better able to show up for yourself!

I hope you found this to be helpful. ❤ The prompts included in this post can be so incredibly transformative & help you understand more about yourself!

xx
-Jess

Self Care & Activities During Quarantine

We have all heard some really hard news recently. Lives & lifestyle have changed drastically over the last couple weeks and most people are stuck inside wondering what to do. Self care is always important, but they are especially important during these uncertain times. No matter what this pandemic has brought to your life, it is very important to continue practicing self care.

I want you to continue taking care of yourself during this time, so I have pulled together a list of self care strategies, as well as activities to try out during this time. I talk more about this in my post about The Importance of Self-Care, but I wanted to pull together a list specially for this difficult time while we all are in quarantine.

Keep a Schedule

No matter what your work situation is, it is very important to keep a schedule during this time. If you are not used to working from home, it can be hard to figure out what your new routine looks like. However, it is important to continue to keep a daily schedule to get any work done and also for organizing any other things that need to get done. This can be planning out any activities to get done during the day.

Get up early

It can be hard to resist the urge to sleep in as much as possible if you don’t have urgent obligations you need to get up early for. Getting up early, especially if you have children at home and anyone else, it could be helpful in making sure you have time to practice your daily self care. How you spend your mornings definitely helps shape how the rest of your day is going to play out.

Always be reading a book

Being stuck inside all day for an extended period of time is a perfect opportunity to pick up a book and make a habit to read everyday. Maybe you incorporate this into your morning routine or night routine as a part of your self care routine. There are so many great benefits to reading and during a time at home in quarantine is the perfect time to include reading into your daily routine.

Some of my favorite books right now:

Everything Is Figureoutable by Marie Forleo

You Are A Badass: How to Stop Doubting Your Greatness and Start Living an Awesome Life by Jen Sincero

Girl, Wash Your Face: Stop Believing the Lies About Who You Are so You Can Become Who You Were Meant to Be *by Rachel Hollis*

I have more books listed under My Favorites!

Journal everyday

Journaling is an activity that I talk about quite a bit and I think is incredibly important especially during these intense times. I talk more about this in my post about The Power of Journaling. We have all been processing some really hard news and our lives & lifestyles have been altered in many ways. It can be scary & you might be having a hard time processing & dealing with everything.

It’s very important to make sure that you are keeping track of your mental & emotional well-being. Getting everything out of your head and onto paper and trying to come up with potential solutions to whatever is going on. Now is the time to pick up your journal you’ve been thinking about starting to write in & start diving deep into your mental health.

Practice gratitude everyday

During hard times like what we’ve been dealing with, it can be hard to focus on the things that are going well because so many difficult things have been going on. All of the great things to be grateful for can be overshadowed by all of the chaos around you. Which, makes it all the more important to start practicing gratitude. Even on the days that it seems like the world is crumbling around you, there are still many things to be grateful for. This exercise can shift your mindset and calm stress. What you focus on is very important!

Practice Meditation

During this time, it is really important to be mindful. Meditation can be hard to get into & is often a practice that is pushed off to the side due to feeling unnecessary. Especially if you’ve been wanting to get into it but haven’t found the chance to give it a try, now is the time to get started. Our thoughts are all over the place with trying to process everything & it can be very hard to keep ourselves calm during a time of great chaos.

There are several apps for guided meditation, most even have a free version available. Now is the time to start planning a time for mediation in to your daily schedule. Even if it means getting up really early or going to bed really early to get some time to yourself!

Use essential oils

Essential oils are really great for enhancing relaxation! I would recommend using an oil diffuser and have some relaxing oils diffusing throughout the day. Even having them going in the morning and at night before bed to enhance relaxation. The oil that I like to use is Pure Aroma because it comes in a package that contains allll of the oils that I like to use on a daily basis. I usually always have one package in my amazon cart because I know that I’m going to need a refill!

If you don’t have an essential oil diffuser yet, I would recommend getting one that comes with some oils to get you started, like this one. That way you can test out which oils you really like so you know which ones you would like to get a refill on.

There are even roll on essential oils that you can rub together on the inside of your wrists & on your chest. Breath in deeply and enjoy the aromas!

Feed your body healthy foods

During stressful times, especially with being stuck inside with the future of everything being unknown, it can be very easy to reach for comfort foods. While I think it’s important to indulge at times, it is also very important to be getting in nutrient-rich foods.

We want to make sure that we are keeping our immune systems nice & strong and that starts with the foods that we are putting into our bodies. While it is important to get nonperishable foods from the grocery store, it is also important to continue to get fresh fruits & vegetables! Even stocking up on some frozen veggies as a healthier option.

During this time, be mindful of what you are putting in your body!

Take your vitamins

I know I struggle with remembering to take my vitamins daily, but especially now, it is important to start taking vitamins daily. This is something that I am trying to work on as well because in addition to our diet, taking the necessary vitamins is definitely important in making sure that our immune systems are nice & strong!

Take a break from media & social media

Being cognizant about your time spent scrolling on social media is already important to monitor. But especially now, with all kinds of chaos going on & maybe being home a lot more, you might find yourself scrolling on social media a lot more. I know I have found myself scrolling on social media a lot more and it is definitely a lot to consume.

Even if it means turning your phone off completely for a couple hours at a time for a couple times throughout the day. It is VERY important to unplug during this time. Dedicate time to completely turn EVERYTHING off & focus on a self care activity.

Do a deep reflection

I’m a big believer in the importance of reflecting to help with your mindset & how you are going to plan for moving forward. Especially during this time, it’s important to think about what this time of chaos, isolation & quarantine has done for you.

What have you learned during this time?
Has this changed your perspective at all?
How will you approach things differently from now on?
Has this changed anything for you when this is all over?
What do you want to do when all of this is over?
What are your goals, what does your daily routine + daily life look like to you?
What have you learned?

Make a vision board

After being in a time of deep reflection, it might also be a good time to put together a storyboard for your goals and potentially new approach to life. With everything that you have learned and been put through, maybe it’s a good time to really think about your vision & potentially new outlook on life. If you need some inspiration, there are many tutorials & inspiration on Pinterest & YouTube!

Get outside

Even during quarantine, it’s important to get outside and get some fresh air! Even if it’s just spending some time time on your front or back patio. Getting outside has always been on my radar, but now more than ever I’m making it a goal to spend at least some time outside. Even if it’s just sitting on my patio for some time. Leave the phone inside, close your eyes and taking some deep breaths. Observe your surroundings and enjoy just simply being in fresh air!

Exercise

Getting in exercise calls for some creativity for most people with gyms being closed. I know for me, my routine has been early morning workouts for a long time now. Even though it is more difficult, there are definitely many creative & resourceful ways to get in a workout at home!

Go on a run outside
Utilize the free resources people are offering online
Use any at home workout tapes you might have laying around
Get some equipment at the store if you want (like weights/bands)

I’m even using the staircase in the parking garage of my apartment complex to get in some cardio! I personally had a hard time getting into working out during the day since my routine has had to be adjusted. But, it is very important to get your body moving and get those endorphins released to keep your mental health (& physical health of course!).

Virtual Dinner/Coffee Date With Family + Friends

I know there are a lot of people out there who live by themselves and are really missing the connection with others. We are so blessed to be living in a time where we can do pretty much anything virtually! The next best thing to an in-person hang out is getting on FaceTime/Skype/Zoom. Schedule a virtual dinner date or even a coffee date!

Other Activities

Go for a walk
Have a movie/Netflix marathon
Coloring Books
Painting
Puzzles
Build forts in the living room
Make a list of recipes/desserts to make
Clean/organize the house
Turn on the music and have a dance party

I hope you found that list helpful for you! I know this time is very difficult for everyone, but I hope that you found this list to be helpful. I also want to provide you with a list of activities that you could try while in quarantine!

If this time has taught us anything, it’s to slow down & get creative! I know that this time is very difficult for a lot of people, but it’s really important for all of us to keep going and do what we need to do to keep going in our daily lives!

I understand how difficult this time is for so many people around the globe. So, I have put together a FREE printable Self Care & Activities During Quarantine Guide for you!

Click here to download the guide ❤

Be safe out there everyone!

The Importance of Celebrating Accomplishments

Over the last couple years, since I graduated from college in 2015, I’ve constantly felt like I’ve failed- unaccomplished, not good enough, not smart enough. No matter how hard I tried, I just couldn’t seem to get to where I was hoping to be.

I don’t know about you, but I often find myself focusing on the things that I’m NOT doing/ haven’t accomplished. It’s so easy to focus on the negatives and what we aren’t doing in our lives or haven’t been able to accomplish in our lives.

I realized the career path I envisioned myself in was not for me and I really struggled to figure out what I was supposed to be doing, I started struggling with my mental health, I got fired from a job I thought was my “big break” (you can read more about this in Getting Fired Was The Best Thing to Happen To Me). I was 25 years old, still living with my parents and found myself without a job & not knowing where I was supposed to go next. Due to these reasons, I’ve considered the last couple years to be “dysfunctional”.

It’s really discouraging when you think that nothing you are doing is working. Everyone around you seems to be accomplishing all of these amazing things and you’re over here struggling to do anything.

Until I thought…

Have I really “failed” at accomplishing anything?

What if what I was considering as failures are actually steps to getting me closer to success?

What if I’ve been so focused on thinking about “failures”, that I have actually been ignoring all of my accomplishments?

The first week of the new year, I found myself journaling about my accomplishments in the last decade and it opened my eyes to everything that I was able to accomplish, while I had been focusing on all of the things I was “failing” at. I realized that while I was focusing on all of the things that I hadn’t done, I was neglecting to really celebrate all of the things that I was able to do.

This exercise was really powerful for me because it made me shift my mindset away from thinking about everything that had gone wrong, to being proud of myself for all of the things that I was able to do and accomplish in the last decade.

I also recently filled out my spending & income sheet for 2019. I totaled all of my spending per month & income per month for when the time comes to file taxes. While I was calculating my income for each month, I decided to total the amount that I made in all of 2019. I’m not going to say the amount, but let’s just say that most couple would cringe at how little I made.

However, I’m choosing to celebrate the fact that I made the money without knowing what the heck I’m doing. I’m trying to figure it out on my own. I experienced extreme burnout and exhaustion (you can read more about this in Getting Over Extreme Burnout). I was confused and unsure if I was doing what I was meant to be doing with my life.

I’m now a couple months into this new year with new knowledge and a new energy and understanding about what I’m doing in my business. I have the tools and the knowledge needed to take the next step.

Your mindset is EVERYTHING. What you choose to do with information is EVERYTHING.

So, let me ask you, do you ever take the time to really celebrate those small “wins” along your journey? Really take the time to celebrate yourself, your business/life, all the hard work you do & have done, the sacrifices, the blood, sweat & tears you shed to get you to where you are today?

We get so caught up in wanting to achieve the bigger goal, that we don’t take the time to really celebrate all of the things that happen along the journey that leads us to that end goal.

But, I think it’s important to really take the time to celebrate and be proud of ourselves for how hard we’ve worked and all that we’ve been able to accomplish.

When we think that we aren’t making any progress, it’s discouraging. When we focus on what we are failing at, it’s easy to get down on ourselves and give up.

Here are some tips to consider when trying to adjust your mindset:

Celebrate all of the wins

I say it’s important to celebrate all of the “wins” that even seem to be so small. Things that some people think are comparable to a “participation trophy”. I say, celebrating those things. Even something that seems as simple as celebrating getting out of bed in the morning. It’s something that seems so simple, but for some people, depending on what an individual is going through, that can be a step forward.

CELEBRATE IT ALLLLL!!

Pay attention to your inner dialogue

Celebrating wins and accomplishments is important in making sure that you are continuing to move forward. Our self-talk and inner dialogue is so important in how we feel and how we show up for ourselves.

We tend to be bullies to ourselves and are incredibly hard on ourselves. It’s like not matter what we do, it’s never enough. What you tell yourself is incredibly important for making sure that you are continuing to move forward. If you are constantly telling yourself that you are a “failure” and haven’t been able to accomplish anything, then you really aren’t going to get very far. Be kind to yourself & really start paying attention to your inner dialogue!

Forget what everyone else thinks

I say, who cares what everyone thinks. Write down every single thing you are proud of yourself for and take the time to actually CELEBRATE. You can read more about my own journey in Getting through a quarter life crisis.

In my recent post on Breaking Free From Society & Creating A Life You Love, I talk about forgetting about societal generalizations to start creating a life you actually LOVE living. We live and create a life based on what society says we should be doing & I’m calling BS on that. We all have special talents & traits that makes us unique and I think we deserve to CELEBRATE that uniqueness.

Forget about if society says your accomplishments aren’t worth celebrating. Forget that. YOU deserve to be celebrated- every single little thing you’ve done.

I have the knowledge- YOU have the knowledge, WE just need to take ACTION!

So, make sure that you are celebrating all of those “wins” throughout your journey, whatever that looks like for YOU! Those seemingly smaller “wins” are going to add up and could be potentially life-changing if you allow them.

Take the time to really think about and celebrate everything that you have done in life so far, and start celebrating them as they come. You may be surprised at how much you’ve actually been able to accomplish!

I would LOVE to support you along your journey! ❤ YOU GOT THIS!

I talk more about celebrating wins in my 5-Day Better Mindset Course!

**THIS COURSE TEACHES YOU:**

> how to stay consistent & monitor your mental, emotional & physical well-being
> how to shift your mindset to focus on what you’ve been able to accomplish vs. “failures”
> how to shift your mindset to focus on everything going right vs. everything that goes wrong

more info

See you there!

5 Days To A Better Mindset

I am a big believer in the fact that your mindset dictates everything in your life. Your mindset impacts how you feel physically & show up in the world, and how you show up for yourself altogether.

I have struggled with my own mindset over the last couple years, feeling frustrated and unsure of how to get myself out of the funk that I was in. After testing out different strategies, hiring some coaches and doing TONS of inner work, I’ve been able to figure out how to master my mindset.

Now, I want to help you master YOURS.

I completed a 5-Day Better Mindset Challenge in my private Facebook group, sharing a video training & assignment on what I think is really important in order to master mindset.

Since the women in my group had such a great experience, I have taken the videos and turned them into a course!

This course teaches you:

> how to stay consistent & monitor your mental, emotional & physical well-being
> how to shift your mindset to focus on what you’ve been able to accomplish vs. “failures”
> how to shift your mindset to focus on everything going right vs. everything that goes wrong

What’s included in the course:

This image has an empty alt attribute; its file name is better-mindset-course.png

DAY 1:

My strategy for monitoring my mental, emotional & physical well-being

DAY 2:

Focusing on your accomplishments vs. your failures

DAY 3:

Shifting your mindset to everything you are grateful for

DAY 4:

Shifting your mindset away from complaining & pinpointing the triggers

DAY 5:

Start manifesting your future by focusing on actionable steps towards your goals

Like I already mentioned, the videos in these training are from a challenge I completed on Facebook live in my Facebook community. The information included in this training are what I believe to be essential tools to mastering your mindset to really start showing up in your life!

ARE YOU READY TO TRANSFORM YOUR MINDSET?!

GET THE COURSE

Don’t miss out on my other free trainings inside of my free Facebook community!

>>Strong, confident & empowered women<<

In this group, you will find daily inspiration, encouragement, find yourself in a community of like-minded women who strive to accomplish the same things and an opportunity to work with yours truly directly. ❤

I hope to see you there!

You can also check out my other blog posts that I think you might be interested in:

The Importance of Self-Care

Tips For When You’re Not Feeling Motivated

A lot can happen in just ONE YEAR!

5 Steps For Getting Back On Track & Shifting Your Mindset

Getting Over Extreme Burnout

My 8 Step Process to Overcoming Depression

Conquer your mindset, you can conquer your life! ❤ You got this!

Breaking Free From Society & Creating A Life You Love

As someone who studied psychology in college and has always been fascinated by human behavior, I understand the importance of “fitting in” and being accepted. It’s just a human necessity.

This can mean social acceptance, which is important for psychological and mental health. But, what about not fitting into generalized education and expectations?

We are taught in our education system the information that we must be able to master to move onto the next level. But, what if your strengths and potential aren’t highlighted in those generalized areas? Are you just doomed to failure?

This is exactly what happened to me and what I know a lot of people struggle with. You can read more about this experience in My journey from a struggling high school student to starting my own business.

My strengths and potential were not highlighted in generalized education and expectations. I struggled in high school. When I say struggled, I mean STRUGGLED. I failed about 90% of the tests I took. I quite literally passed high school with test corrections and test retakes.

I couldn’t figure out what was wrong with me. I did everything that I was told I needed to do to master and understand the material. I studied hard. I tried all the techniques. I went into school early to get help and stayed after school. I did all the things and still couldn’t get it figured out.

I remember wanting to be successful so bad. But, there were times when I just thought that I wasn’t smart enough and didn’t have what it took to reach a level of success that I had always envisioned for myself. At that time, I wanted to get my doctorate in psychology. It was always a goal in the back of my mind. But, how could I possibly expect to get my doctorate when I was BARELY passing high school?

There were so many times when I was so frustrated because I just wanted to be smart like everyone else. I didn’t want to feel “dumb” and incapable.

What I didn’t realize at the time, is that I was completely capable of success, it just looks a little bit different than the majority of people. I have unique talents and expertise that makes me so special and just as capable of success. I just had to work a little harder and go through some extra hoops to figure it out.

Our system teaches us that everything is going to be accomplished in a straight, linear line. There’s no telling what will happen if/when it doesn’t work out that way. So, when your life doesn’t progress like we thought it would, we immediately think that something is wrong.

Something is wrong with me.

You go to school, get a degree, get a job, work until retirement. You’ll make enough money to get by, but never enough to be truly satisfied. That’s just life, right? That’s just the way it is.

But, what if there’s something more? I believe there is. You can read more about my opinion on this in my post about Why I’m Proud of Millennials and Proud To Be One.

I envision a fantasy life that I believe is completely attainable.

I want to create something for myself, a life that I truly love living. I want to wake up every single morning, excited for the day ahead of me. I want my work to energize me, maybe even feel like I’m not really doing “work”. But, I want to make a difference and an impact.

You can sit at a desk for 9 hours a day, working “hard”, but not feeling fulfilled and like you’re truly making a difference in the world.

I believe in a world that isn’t micromanaged.

A world that allows you to be who you are and make the impact that you are meant to make. Whatever that looks like for each person. Whether that means with a degree or no degree. We were all put on this earth for a reason and I believe that it is possible to live out that dream.

We’re taught that dreams are meant to be just that… Dreams. You must go to work and work until you are told that you can be done. If you’re already done with your work, scroll on your phone and pretend to be working until it’s time to go.

If you hate what you do and dread Mondays, why not go on a journey to finding something that truly energizes you?

For me, I’ve always wanted to make a difference in people’s lives. I knew that was my calling from a young age. It fires me up and makes me feel amazing. But, my career path has not been able to fulfill this for me. Even the business I’ve created at times. Sometimes, you have to be able to understand when and where it’s time to make a change.

At the end of the day, you are in control of your life. Only you are fully in control of your life.

It’s h a r d and frustrating to figure out what in the world you are supposed to be doing on earth. You feel like there’s only so many times you can fail and get back up without getting completely discouraged. Fearing that you just might make a complete fool of yourself.

We’ve all been there and we don’t like it. But, at some point, it’s time to put pen to paper and really dig into who you are as a person. What you are meant to be doing on this earth. Sometimes, your journey doesn’t look like what others look like and that is completely fine!

So… how do you create a life that you truly love? Here are some things to think about.

What are some of your unique talents?

Like, really unique. We all have unique talents that makes us who we are and makes us so special. We all have something special & incredible to offer the world.

There was one part of You Are A Badass: How To Stop Doubting Your Greatness And Start Living An Awesome Life by Jen Sincero that really sticks out to me and I think is incredibly important.

She’s talking about going after your dreams, because someone out there needs what you have to offer. Sometimes our dreams seem so out of reach that we don’t really think about even trying to take action on them. I talk about this more in-depth in my post on A lot can happen in just ONE YEAR!.

What is something really energizes you?

This question seems really simple & easy, but it can be a tricky question. I know that it was for me when I was trying to figure out what it is that I really wanted to do. I just remembered how happy I felt when I was helping others work through any problems going on in their lives.

I went through a whole process and you can read more about it in BUSINESS PLAN FOR 2020 / CHANGES TO BUSINESS. If you are having a hard time coming up with ideas, you can always reach out to friends/family & get an idea of what you are really good at!

What are you really passionate about?

This can be anything! Think hard about this because I think it’s really important to be able to incorporate the things that you are truly passionate about in your everyday life. This doesn’t necessarily have to be in terms of your career, but just any hobby or anything that you really love!

What does your dream life look like?

We all have a dream life that we think about, but don’t always think it’s attainable so we don’t even think about trying to act upon them. Think reallll hard about what this life looks like for you!

How attainable is your dream life?

Like I already mentioned, we often think that our “dream life” isn’t really attainable, so we don’t even try to take any action to reach that dream life status. I used to think the exact same way until I started realizing that I am completely in control of the trajectory of my life.

I bet that your dream life isn’t as out of reach as you would think. It’s up to you if you are willing to put in the work, including the mindset work to reach those goals.

What actionable steps can you take to start living your ideal life?

What can you start doing TODAY to start making those dreams a reality? Are you going to start buying books and educate yourself more? Are you going to make it a goal to start putting yourself out in the world, jump out of your comfort zone so you can start growing & learning? Hire somebody to help you figure out how you can make those dreams a reality?

Trust me, there are probably simple steps that you can be taking TODAY to start living your dream life & start creating a life you love.

What would you be doing if the generalization of society wasn’t holding you back?

Yes, throw away whatever society says you should be doing! Screw that. This is your life and you are in complete control of the outcomes of your life.

Take away everything society says you should be doing and really think about what you would be doing with your life if society didn’t tell you what your life should look like!

Forget about society. Forget about generalization. This is all about YOU and what YOU want to get out of life! ❤

At the end of the day, I think that it is really important to really think about what it is that we really love to do and are passionate about. I think that the pressure that comes with the generalization of society can hold us back and make us feel like we can’t live a life that we truly love and makes us happy.

Life doesn’t always progress the way we are taught and doesn’t always look the same as everyone around us. The important thing to remember is to be true to yourself and not let the potential judgements & criticisms hold you back from living your life to the fullest. I believe it is possible, many people have done it before and many people are going to continue doing it.

The time is now to REALLY live your life! ❤

5 Steps For Getting Back On Track & Shifting Your Mindset

We’ve heard it all before, but I think that it’s something extremely important: progress is never in a straight line. We all want it to be, though. This is true and relevant in just about every aspect of life. We get in a good system, start losing weight, get our social lives together, whatever it may be, then something happens to throw us off track.

It happens to all of us and it happens in just about every situation in life pretty much. It’s frustrating because you just want to keep moving forward. Things were going so well and you just want to keep going forward. Moving backwards, in any capacity and in any way is frustrating. It feels like you’re taking 2 steps forward and 1 step backwards.

I used to get really hard on myself when this happened. I would be in a good system, a good rhythm, my healthy habits were on point. Then, something would happen to get everything all messed up. I would get frustrated and mad at myself for letting myself get to that point. I would be mad for not being able to handle it and ultimately “letting myself go”. Then, this negative self-talk would spiral into more negative self-talk and I would begin going down a tunnel of neglecting my healthy habits and mental health more and more.

It seems dramatic, but it’s very true and I know it’s prominent for a lot of people. We continue to let ourselves spiral out of control until we get tired of it and decide we want to make a change, then the cycle repeats.

I felt inclined to write this post because I recently experienced this and I wanted to take the time to explain how I dealt with the stress. Over the years, I have learned a lot about how to handle these times in our lives and I think that what I have to say is important! It’s going to happen & it’s going to happen a lot, unfortunately. Whether we want to admit it or not, it’s inevitable.

I’ve learned that during these times when it feels like I’m “taking a step back”, it might actually be a good thing. I’ve learned that this might mean that I’m entering an important time for growth and a breakthrough is about to happen. It’s uncomfortable in the moment, but it’s necessary to take the next step forward.

Life kind of makes you stop, so you can keep moving forward. Now, this might sound counter-intuitive, but stay with me here!

I’ve learned to listen to the universe. To pay attention to these times when I feel like I’m falling off track because, sometimes, it doesn’t really mean that I’m falling “off track”. It’s the universe telling me that I need to slow down.

To be honest, life would be quite boring if things turned out exactly how we wanted all the time. If things worked out perfectly the first time and things continued in a straight line, there would be no growth, no learning experiences, no breakthroughs to celebrate. Times of reflection wouldn’t result in celebrating all of the hard work that was done and all the growth that happened. It sounds nice on paper, that everything will work out perfectly and all will end exactly how we expect.

However, these times are frustrating. It’s extremely hard not to just want to throw in the towel and stay frustrated. But, I encourage you to keep an open mind here because shifting your perception can result in a life changing breakthrough.

Here are some important things to remember during these times:

Don’t be hard on yourself

The most important thing to remember is that you must not get hard on yourself during these times. Beating yourself up for “falling off track” will get you nowhere except keep you going even further downhill.

I’ve noticed this to be especially prevalent in my early to mid-twenties and I think it’s pretty common around this age for most people. It’s the time in our lives when we are set free to really figure out who we are and what we are supposed to be doing with our lives. Every time we think we are getting closer to getting it figured out, something happens to throw us off track a little bit.

When this started happening to me, I was thinking that I was the only one going through this. I just assumed that everyone else my age was getting things all figured out and they were happily progressing without any problems. When you think you’re the only one going through something, it’s very discouraging.

Trust me, I know this very well. I spent about 3 years trying to find a job, getting another degree, revising my resume, countless applications & interviews and ended up getting fired from the job I finally got after just 5 weeks. Talk about discouraging! While it was frustrating and discouraging, I’ve come to realize that Getting Fired Was The Best Thing To Happen To Me!

The most important piece of advice that I received in terms of getting through this was to not beat myself up. If you can shift your perception on the situation to the best of your ability, you can see this in a whole new light.

Give yourself some grace here! If you want some extra tips, make sure you check out my blog on The Importance of Self-Care!

TAKE A BREAK

Seriously, take a break. Sometimes these times are meant to tell you that you need to slow down and give your mind & body some TLC. Make sure you listen to your body and rest if/when you need it.

For my most recent experience with falling off track, what helped the most was giving myself 3 full days off, away from work, completely focusing on myself. When I say a break, I mean a REAL break. I was trying to give myself breaks, but I was still constantly thinking about alllll the things I had to be doing or SHOULD be doing, scrolling on Pinterest trying to find some inspiration. I was resting my body, but I wasn’t letting my mind rest, which was making me even more exhausted.

Before you start rolling your eyes and thinking “OK Jessie, not everyone can just take 3 days off!“, hear me out. I know that giving yourself 3 days might seem out of reach or impossible, considering where you are in life. But, we all need to find time in our lives to give ourselves a break. We all need it and it might be just what you need to get on track. Maybe see if anyone can help you out for a day to get some things off your plate so you can rest. Giving yourself just one day completely to yourself could be the best thing you do right now!

journal

I’ve talked about the importance of journaling many times, but I find that it holds so many benefits. Especially if you feel like your progress has stopped, no matter what area, it’s always good practice to get everything out of your head and on to paper.

Sometimes, we have things going on in our subconscious that we don’t even know that’s weighing us down. Which is why I always think that journaling can be super powerful. Just getting all of your thoughts, everything that bothering you out of your head and on to paper might give you some clarity.

If you want to read more information on my transformative experiences with journaling, make sure you check out my recent post on The Power of Journaling!

Come up with an action plan

After you journal and get everything out of your head and on to paper, it can be easier to see what specifically needs to be done to keep moving forward. Think about what’s going on and why this “step back” is happening.

Get specific. Don’t just say “get back on track”. How exactly are you going to do it? Are you going to give yourself a mental health day? Brain dump everything that needs to be done? Drink more water?

Giving yourself realistic actionable goals is important to getting yourself back on track.

find the silver lining

I truly believe that everything happens for a reason. We are given certain “bumps” in our paths because we are supposed to go through a certain learning experience to prepare us for what’s to come.

Finding the silver lining in a situation like this, when we feel like we’ve taken a step backwards, is helpful in shifting our mindset. If you can conquer your mindset, you can conquer anything!

If you just rolled your eyes when you read that, try to hear me out because I think this is really important! If we’re constantly beating ourselves up about things and focusing on the negatives all the time, it’s going to be really difficult to get to where we want to be. Just hear me out & try to shift your perspective!

If you are still not convinced, I understand. Shifting your perception is hard and can take some work. But, I do want to share a resource that I’ve mentioned before that helped me shift my mindset.

It’s a book called, Everything is Figureoutable by Marie Forleo!

This book revolves around the phrase, “Everything Is Figureoutable“. Meaning, no matter where you are in life, what situation you are currently in, no matter how sucky or sad, it is figureoutable. Marie Forleo helps you get out of your mental BS to start living your life. To help you get out of that mental funk that you’ve found yourself in and start taking actionable steps to changing your mindset.

I’ve noticed that each time I go through a period where I feel like I taking a step back & I see a regression in progress, I learn more about myself. I’ve been able to learn about what helps & what doesn’t and I’ve been able to make changes to make sure that I continue to keep moving forward.

Taking a step back, in any way, in any situation is frustrating. But, the way you perceive the situation can be a game changer!

xx,
Jess

The Power of Journaling

I’ve always been a writer. It’s been my art and how I’ve always been able to express myself. Writing was always what I excelled at in school. Pretty much the only thing I excelled at, really. While I was good at and enjoyed writing, I was never really one to write in a journal growing up. I just never really knew what I would write about in a journal, so I didn’t.

In 2016, journaling became a really important part of my self-care & taking care of my mental health. I started journaling in May 2016 when life got pretty stressful and I found myself struggling to keep my sanity. I would write about everything going on and trying to make myself think positively going into the day. I wrote on a notepad, nothing special, but I just used whatever I had laying around already. I would try writing every morning, talking myself into trying to be all positive throughout the day. I tried for a couple weeks, but ended up giving up weeks later. I had heard all about the positive things that could come from journaling, but I just wasn’t seeing the benefits myself.

In September 2016, I went to counseling for the first time. During my first session, my counselor told me to get myself a pretty planner and write everyday about what’s on my mind and write 3 things I love about myself everyday. Now, if you are going through a tough time and struggling to love yourself everyday, this is an incredibly tough task. But, I have been trying to keep journaling as a priority for a while now.

Ever since then, for 3 years now, I have slowly been able to bring myself back together. While it was hard at first to even get the motivation and drive to write and find something that I loved about myself, I always ended up back there writing. I started writing about EVERY THING! It’s amazing all of the things that you can discover when you write it all down.

Journaling isn’t just something to put on your to-do list and just use it as something to check off when it’s done. You have to take it seriously and be intentional. You may even discover some things lingering in your subconscious that you didn’t even know were there.

Seriously, journaling is P O W E R F U L !

In the last year or so, I’ve really been trying to make this a daily thing. Before I start my day, I try to write 1-2 pages in my journal. I don’t give myself any limitations, just write. Everything that going on in my mind. I write about what’s frustrating me, how I’m feeling emotionally, the events going on in my life, what I’m excited/nervous about, what I am frustrated with myself about, where I want to be, my goals and ambitions. Anything. If it’s on my mind at the time, it goes in my journal. I had such a hard time at first figuring out what to write about. But, I’ve learned there’s no right or wrong way to journal.

Sometimes, just getting all of the anger & stress out of your head and onto paper can be incredibly relieving. Keeping those negative words stuck in your head will only lead to releasing them in a way that you might regret later. Not to mention making you feel crappy. The thoughts might end up making you feel worse and you don’t know why. I get it. You get frustrated and can’t figure out how to get yourself to snap out of it.

It might sound crazy if you aren’t an avid journal writer, but you seriously don’t know the true power of journaling. It can honestly be life changing.

Over the last 3 years, I have made it to my fourth journal. Each journal carries moments, memories, struggles, breakthroughs. Each one holds a journey in my life. Sometimes, I will look back at these journals and really realize how far I have come. How when I first started journaling, I was an absolute mess. I hated everything and everyone. I was a miserable person, just going through the motions of life, wishing I could figure out what to do to pull myself together.

To even think that I would end up where I am today, at that point is a dream that I didn’t even know that I had. Journaling can be transformative. It’s not just a task that you do just because people tell you that it’s “good to do”. With intention and purpose, it can truly transform lives.

I typically don’t do journal prompts, because I feel like it takes away from what is on the surface that I need to talk about that specific day. But, these are some things that I usually end up writing about:

How are you feeling?

What emotions are you feeling?

How’s the week going?

What do you wish was going better?

What is going well?

What are you proud of yourself for?

What are you disappointed about?

Did someone/something make you mad?

If you prefer journal prompts, I definitely understand! There are TONS of prompts out there for any kind of self-discovery/reflection!

EXPRESS GRATITUDE

I also started writing about what I’m grateful for. I started with The Five Minute Journal. Even though I don’t like regular journal prompts, I did like the prompts prompts in this journal and I can honestly say that it helped me make expressing gratitude a habit.

I love The Five Minute Journal because it really gets you thinking about your intentions for the day and also reflecting at the end of the day.

You might notice that you have a hard time listing 3 things you’re grateful for each day. Especially on days that you don’t feel so great. But, the longer you keep to it, the easier it comes to you. I’ve noticed that throughout some days, I find myself naturally expressing gratitude for things that I would otherwise turn a blind eye to.

I’ve been better at journaling in the morning, than at night. I’m still working working on journaling about my day right before I go to bed, but it’s a work in progress! You’ve got to start somewhere, right?!

I usually like to start my day with both free journaling, as well as filling in The Five Minute Journal prompts. It’s taken practice to be able to make journaling a habit and to be able to find positive things to talk about. Even if I’m not feeling so great that day, journaling helps me get everything off my chest and expressing gratitude definitely helps me shift my mindset. Now, everyday isn’t going to be all positive and that’s okay. But, journaling has definitely been a main staple in helping me shift my mindset and perception going into each day.

Sometimes for me, journaling can bring an idea for a blog post or social media post I can write about. It has given me business ideas, realization of dreams & aspirations. I like to let my journaling and what comes to surface dictate the flow of the day and where I want to really place my focus. For example, starting a new journal sparked the idea to write a post about how transformative journaling has been.

Imagine where your life could be if you started journaling ASAP. Not to be dramatic, but your life could seriously change forever. You just never know. ❤

The Importance of Self-Care

We all know that self-care is important, but how many people really take the time to focus on themselves? Self-care looks different for everybody because we are all different and need different things.

Self-care doesn’t always have to be face masks and bubble baths if that’s not for you!

I truly have a passion for living a healthy balanced lifestyle and getting the most out of life. We all get caught up in day-to-day tasks and activities that sometimes we forget one important thing: self-care & making ourselves a priority.

We all have non-negotiables that need to be present in our daily routine because when they aren’t present, things seem to get out of control. By “non-negotiable”, I mean, that one thing that you need present for your sanity. For me, my non-negotiable is working out, especially first thing in the morning. Once I figured this out and got myself on a consistent routine, this has been the ultimate game-changer for me.

A couple years ago, I was experiencing various stressors in my life. Things seemed all out of control and I couldn’t figure out how to get myself back on track. I was stressed, exhausted, overwhelmed, unsure and pretty unhappy with just about everything. I had started seeing my healthy habits disappearing. I was unmotivated to go to the gym, got lazy when it came to washing my face at night, I mean I did not want to do any of my healthy habits throughout the day. Which was weird because I’ve always been one to always have healthy habits in place.

It wasn’t until I started going to the gym first thing in the morning that things started falling into place (you can read more about this in How/ Why I Go To The Gym At 5AM and 3 Tips for Early Morning Workouts). Things started making more sense to me. The days that I don’t go to the gym or get some kind of exercise in, I feel all anxious and flustered all day. That’s when I realized that working out was my non-negotiable self-care ritual.

Over the last year that I’ve been regularly on a workout schedule, I have slowly been able to implement other self-care habits into my day and see which ones work best for me. Since I’ve been experiencing many changes in my life recently, I’ve had a hard time with getting myself on a solid self-care routine. But, I am learning first-hand the importance of incorporating some self-care into your day and figuring out which ones are necessary for you.

Along this journey so far, I’ve learned how hard it can be to let go of stressors in our daily life. Not be focusing on all the things that we don’t have and that we wish we had. For me, I noticed myself neglecting self-care when I was overwhelmed by stress and how unhappy I was. Which in turn lead me to feeling even more stressed and unhappy because I wasn’t taking care of myself.

Sound familiar to anyone?

What I also had to learn is that I needed to choose myself and start making myself and my self-care a priority if I wanted all the stress to go away and to feel happy, I had to come first. It’s extremely hard to do when you are so far deep in the mental funk. What I learned is that making even the smallest changes goes a long way.

What I also learned is that I would tell myself that I’m going to do all of the self-care things right away, all at once. Well, probably not surprising at all, it didn’t work. Which was very frustrating because its SELF-CARE, it should be making me happy, right?!

Meh… not really.

When we set unrealistic goals for ourselves, it can be frustrating and overwhelming because it’s not likely to be possible to achieve those things. Then, we get hard on ourselves when we don’t do the things we told ourselves that we would do. The things that we told ourselves to do became less of a self-care item and more of a chore. The last thing self-care should be is a chore.

Side note: why does self-care have to be so dang complicated?!

Instead of telling yourself,“I’m going to get to the gym 5 days this week, do face masks every day and meditate for 30 minutes twice a day” maybe make the goal to get outside for a 10-15 minute walk a couple days a week, do a face mask once a week and journal a couple times a week. If that.

But, it’s important to do things that you love and make you feel good.

Some ideas for self-care:

Take a bubble bath

This is one of my favorite things and used to be something I did every Sunday night. Dimming the lights or just letting candles provide the light and putting on relaxing music. I also looove putting some essential oils in the bathtub to make it even more relaxing!

The oil that I like to use is Pure Aroma because it comes in a package that contains allll of the oils that I like to use on a daily basis. I usually always have one package in my amazon cart because I know that I’m going to need a refill!

The apartment I just recently moved into doesn’t have a bath tub, which I’m really sad about but I try to take a long hot shower with lavender essential oils. Not the same, but you have to work with what ya got!

Face scrubs & face masks.

This is one thing that I have been really bad about but I love doing. I was getting lazy with even washing my face. But, there’s something relaxing and refreshing about giving your face (& body!) some extra TLC, especially right before bed!

I get a lot of mine from my FabFitFun boxes and I absolutely love them!

Journaling.

Journaling can be one of the most therapeutic activities! I have recently re-incorporated journaling back into my morning and night routine and I have seen tremendous results. I actually wrote an entire post on The Power of Journaling! Journaling allows you to get all of your stressors and anything bothering you out of your subconscious mind so it’s not stuck there. Our natural tendency is to suppress hard or stressful things, but the subconscious doesn’t forget that it’s there. So, journaling is a great technique to use to talk about what’s going on in your life. Some questions to answer: What’s going well? What’s stressing you out? What’s holding you back? What are you feeling? What would make the day great? How did the day go? What went well? What could be improved?

I personally don’t like journal prompts, but I know some people find them very helpful. I find that just free writing and letting my mind guide the writing helps me a lot more. I try to write a full page in the morning and just brain dump everything that’s on my mind.

Meditation.

I have a love/hate relationship with meditation, but there are SO many benefits from it! Meditation is difficult at first, at least it is for me. It’s difficult to turn off your thoughts for some time. But, if that’s an issue for you, then maybe this is something that you need to help you calm your mind. I’ve found adding in mediation into my morning and night routine has been very helpful in decreasing my stress and anxiety. I personally enjoy the mediations in this app called Sanvello.

Tip: Start with 2-3 minutes once a day. If you try to start longer and more often, you might find that you get frustrated and end up not seeing mediation to be helpful for you.

Affirmations.

Have you noticed that you have very negative self-talk? Like “I’m so stupid”, “I’m a failure.”, “Why can’t I do anything right?” I noticed that too for a while. How we talk about ourselves and how we think about ourselves correlates with how we feel and how we show up for ourselves. If you keep telling yourself “I’m a failure” all the time, you can’t expect yourself to feel all that great about yourself. If you go into a situation thinking “I’m a failure”, you’re going to treat yourself and the situation like you’re a failure.

It’s all about perception. Instead of constantly telling yourself “I’m a failure”,try saying “I am strong & capable of success”, “I am powerful”, “I will be successful”. Repeat affirmations everyday, write them on sticky notes, give yourself reminders. Trust me, it works wonders! Positive self-talk is incredibly important!

Take a break.

It is very easy to get caught up in daily tasks and being busy that we forget to slow down throughout the day. I find it helpful to take small breaks throughout the day to give my mind a rest. Take this time to do something that you enjoy and find refreshing and helpful. Maybe you take a break to read, journal, watch tv, get outside, etc. Especially if it’s a nice day, I’ve been trying to take 10 minutes to walk around outside to get some fresh air.
Related: Tips For When You’re Not Feeling Motivated, 5 Steps For Getting Back On Track & Shifting Your Mindset, Getting Over Extreme Burnout

Exercise.

As we all know, there are SO many positive benefits to exercise. There are of course physical benefits to working out, but more importantly, mental benefits as well. Try to make it a priority to get out and go on a walk/run, get to the gym a couple times a week, go on a bike ride, take a class, anything! Get your body moving!

Read.

Reading is a great way to calm your mind and relax. I’m not much of a reader, but when I do, I like to right before I go to bed. It makes me tired and calms my mind. Maybe reading can be a perfect addition to your night time routine!

Some of my favorite books:

Do something you love.

This seems like an obvious, but sometimes when we are too stressed, we neglect the things we love. Life gets in the way and you just forget about that hobby that makes you so happy. This can be anything. Maybe it drawing, painting, coloring, ceramics, building things, etc.

Get outside.

Sometimes simply just being outside and getting fresh air can be incredibly refreshing. If you are someone that tends to stay inside in your office all day, maybe getting outside for even just a 10-15 minute break might be helpful and refreshing!

Get a Massage.

Massages can be a bit pricey, so this might be a every-once-in-a-while splurge on your self-care. But, if it’s in your budget, don’t be afraid to take it the extra mile and treat yo self- you deserve it!

Treat Yourself to a Mani/pedi

Similar to getting a massage, don’t be afraid to treat yo self! I very rarely go to a salon to get my nails done. But, sometimes it’s nice to splurge a little bit and get a little pampered!

Go to Therapy.

As someone with a psychology background, I whole-heartedly believe in the benefits of talk therapy. Of course, this is something that not everyone has access to. Even just talking about what’s going on to family/friends if you are feeling stressed out. I find talk therapy to be helpful because it gets everything off of your chest so you’re not keeping everything bottled up inside. This can bring up lots of emotions, which can be hard and uncomfortable to deal with in the moment. But, the end result makes you feel so much more relieved to have all of the extra weight off of your shoulders!

Make plans with a friend.

Again, being overly busy can make it hard to make friendships a priority. But, it always feels good to catch up with a friend that you haven’t seen in a while. I encourage you to contact a couple friends you haven’t seen in a while and make plans throughout the month or in the near future!

Go Shopping.

OK retail therapy is not for me. Shopping tends to stress me out more than it makes me feel refreshed. Although, there is something to say about buying yourself a new outfit to wear that you feel real good in!

Take yourself to see a movie.

Again, movies aren’t really my thing. While I enjoy them, I don’t ever think to do this. But, if you are someone that really enjoys movies, then this is a great one for you! Take yourself to see that movie that you’ve been wanting to see! Or spend a Friday/Saturday night in for a movie night (this is what I would be more likely to do!). Make yourself a bowl of popcorn, grab a glass of wine and a comfy blanket and you are good to go! Sounds amazing, doesn’t it?!

The list is endless! It’s important to do what makes you feel happy and refreshed. Whatever you need! I encourage you and challenge you to pick a couple things to do every day this month for self-care. They say it takes three weeks to form a habit!

So, what self-care activities are you committing to trying?!

-Jess

My Fitness Journey | Choosing Yourself First

“You haven’t been yourself in about 2-3 years” is what my mom said to me a year ago. We were having a conversation about possible depression and seeing my doctor to get on an antidepressant. I didn’t have health insurance at the time, so we were trying to figure out how I was going to pay for the doctor visit, as well as the medication. I was a mess, my mental health was a mess.

I had just started a job that I thought was my “big break” I was looking for to get my career off the ground. I was trying to convince myself that I enjoyed this job, but I really didn’t. I hated it and wasn’t good at it, at all. I would pack a gym bag to go to the gym right after work, but would talk myself out of actually going because I was “too tired”. I really felt like I wasn’t in control of anything. Although, I tried. I would go home after work and try to figure out how to be better at this job. When I was with my boyfriend, I was thinking of this job, I would get to the office early to try to prepare better for the day. I really wanted to make this work and was willing to do anything to make it happen. The stress of my career was literally taking control of everything.

On Friday July 6, 2018, I walked into work and was immediately brought into an office and was fired at 6:45am. I was half relieved because the job was horrible, but half confused because I had no idea what I was going to do next. How was I supposed to expect an employer to hire me when I had 3 jobs in 6 months & fired from the last one after 5 weeks? (Read more about this in Getting Fired Was The Best Thing to Happen to Me).

That same day just happened to be the Annual Memorial Golf Scramble I volunteer at yearly. I looked at the pictures we took and immediately realized that I needed to start taking care of myself better. I really didn’t “look” that bad, but I could tell how unhappy I was and crumbling under my own pressure to pull myself together & failing at every attempt. I was exhausted and putting on a smile to try to convince myself & others that I was completely fine. I wasn’t taking care of myself AT. ALL. I was lost & didn’t know what to do, or which way to go.

On Monday, July 9, 2018, I woke up without a job to go to for the first time in YEARS. It was a feeling that I was unsure to do with because I was exhausted, tired of trying to prove myself & my abilities to Corporate America. I knew I had a lot of potential, but was running out of ideas and options. I wasn’t sure where I was going to go next, but I knew I had to keep going in the only way I knew how- start taking care of myself and my mental health.

So, I went to the gym.

In making the decision to take actionable steps to take care of myself first, I have:
– learned how to love myself again
– worked out on a consistent schedule
– gained a healthy relationship with food
– started my own business
– started waking up with purpose every day
– moved out of my parents house (finally!)
– connected with amazing people
– become, really really happy
*I also no longer felt like I needed to be on an antidepressant.

NOW WHAT?

So, I woke up that day, exactly one year ago, and drug myself to the gym, with a commitment to myself. A commitment to turn this negative thing into a life changing experience, and that’s exactly what I did. I didn’t have a plan for my career, or anything for that matter. But, I knew that if I wanted anything to come together, I had to take control of the one thing I had complete control over: myself.

This moment was the first time since college that the chaos in my mind completely stopped. After everything, I had no desire to look for a job. It sounds weird, I had lost my trust in corporate jobs. I was frustrated at the fact that I had to prove myself to a company, leave a paycheck & benefits, for them to let me go whenever it was convenient for them.

I was lucky enough to still be living with my parents, so I had the security and stability to be able to take the time to figure things out. My dad had an (unpaid) opportunity for me at his startup business. I decided to give it a try, there was nothing I had to lose really. This was the time where I really had to understand that I had to take on every single opportunity that came my way. I really didn’t care what it was, I just had to take advantage of everything.

The crazy thing is, the moment I stopped actively looking for opportunities, is the exact time when opportunities started coming to me. I had gotten myself on a exercise routine, making better food choices, taking care of myself and that’s when things started falling into place. I would not change a single part of my journey because every experience had lead me to where I am today. Those experiences will still continue to evolve, and I can’t wait to see what comes next.

WHAT I’VE LEARNED

We are taught to work hard and keep working towards your goals, right? That’s exactly what I tried to do and I ended up running myself into the ground. It’s not my fault- I was just doing what I thought I needed to do. I was working hard towards a goal that wasn’t meant for me. I’m not the only one who has done this, right?

But, these moments are meant to happen and are necessary for success and growth. The best thing I did in my time of confusion, was to start taking care of myself. If you have chaos in your mind like I did, things will start coming together when you calm your mind. It sounds cliché, but it’s so true!

Take every situation, good or bad, as an opportunity to keep growing and getting better. I had always heard that those “bad” moments are a sign that an incredible breakthrough is about to happen. I wish there was a magic piece of advice that I could give. It’s hard and uncomfortable, but I promise something amazing is about to happen! I had absolutely no idea that getting fired would lead me to starting my own business and working from home. But, I’m so happy that it did. Read more about my experience in The Importance of Self-Care and My 8 Step Process to Overcoming Depression.

The best thing you can do in a time of chaos and confusion is start taking actionable steps towards taking care of yourself. I had no idea that stepping into the gym one year ago would be the start of the most amazing journey. I had no idea all of these amazing possibilities that are waiting for me and I know there’s so much more to come. 💗🙏🏼 I’m truly living my life- not just going through the motions of the day and hating everything & everybody.