My 10 Tips For Beating Bloat & Getting Back On Track

Have you ever come out of a weekend or a vacation after indulging in sweets, salty food, and even alcohol and feel gross? Or have just felt like you’ve been in a slump recently and need to get back on track? Yep, me too. Very often actually. 

Now, I’m not an expert (or trained) in digestive health, whatsoever, but over the years I have been able to learn a couple tips and tricks that have helped me when I am feeling bloated after indulging a little too much.

The tips that I’m sharing in this post are exactly what I did to lose the bloat around my body in just a couple of weeks.

Trust me, I know that I don’t necessarily think that I looked “bad“, but I knew that there were some areas that could use some adjustments in my lifestyle. You might also not be able to see a noticeable difference between the two pictures. But, I’ve actually been able to lose 6+ inches around my body in just 2 months. I even lost about 3 inches around my body in one week by implementing the tips I’m sharing in this post.

This post is absolutely perfect for you if you are like me & constantly find yourself going downhill after you indulge and can’t seem to get yourself back on track, for good. Trust me, we’ve all been there and it’s an incredibly frustrating path to be on. 

After years of trial & error and struggling to figure out what will help me, I’ve finally discovered some really helpful tips and secrets that have ultimately helped me stop the seemingly never ending cycle.

Let me let you in on some of those secrets that have helped me! 

Don’t Beat Yourself Up

I talk about this a lot, but only because I think it’s really important. I have a long track record of getting really mad at myself for having slip ups and indulging “too much”. 

But, let me ask you, has beating yourself up actually helped you get back on track? Or did it put you even further downhill?

For me, beating myself up always pushes me further away from my goal. Inner dialogue is so so SOOO important! Did I mention it’s REALLY important??? What you tell yourself becomes your reality. 

So, if you slip up over the weekend, if you eat too many sweet treats around the holidays, or if you just indulged because you just felt like it, give yourself some grace here. Life is about enjoying yourself and your time on earth. There’s nothing wrong with a little indulgence. 

Tell yourself that you deserved the indulgence and you are ready to get back to your goals! Trust me, nothing productive comes from beating yourself up.

In the pictures I shared above, I had spent the last couple months indulging in Halloween candy and Christmas cookies. Honestly, it made me happy in the moment and I thoroughly enjoyed everything that I indulged in. I let myself enjoy it & when it was all over, I was ready to get back on track.

The simple shift in my mindset and how I approached the situation has been the key to making sure I stay on track. The slip ups in the past have been due mainly to me beating myself up and getting mad for indulging and just enjoying life. Letting the past be in the past and continuing to move forward has been a major key to being able to stay consistent in this lifestyle.

Drink LOTS of water

I hired a wellness & fitness coach a couple years ago and I still remember to this day how much she preaches: DO NOT fall for the “cleanse tea” scam. There is no secret (& not to mention- expen$ive) cleanses. The companies that talk about how they have the secret cleanse to help you lose all this weight, is absolutely f a l s e .

Seriously, good to know!

The best cleanse there is? Our good ole pal H2O. Drinking lots of water is incredibly important as it is, but increasing your water intake when you are feeling bloated will help flush everything out! I try to get in around 100 oz- 1 gallon of water per day. Have you ever tracked how many ounces of water you are drinking per day? When I first started tracking this, I realized that I was only getting around 40 ounces of water per day.

Simply just increasing your water intake will show some major benefits- just be prepared to head to the bathroom A LOT. When I first started increasing my water intake, I was in the bathroom like every half an hour, but let me tell you, it is so worth it!

I now make sure that I drink 16oz-24oz of water right when I get up because when you think about it, your body is in deprivation for how many hours you were asleep. So, you need to make sure that you are getting in water right away!

Not only have I noticed a difference in reducing my bloating, but I have less headaches & more energy as a result.

Get to sippin’!

Get sweaty

OK- so I’m not saying spend 2 hours a day at the gym on the treadmill. But, getting yourself to the gym and increasing cardio really helps! I actually continued to go to the gym, but it’s very important to make sure that you are continuing to keep going, rather than making excuses to fall off.

This also goes back to what I mentioned about not beating yourself up- make sure you are doing this out of self-love and not self-hate. Put in your headphones, put on an upbeat song, work off anything that is bothering you & continue to remind yourself how much your love yourself & your body.

PLEASE do not do this out of self-hate! Don’t spend hours on the treadmill trying to punish yourself for making unhealthy decisions!

I talk more about my fitness journey in these posts:
How/ Why I Go To The Gym At 5AM
3 Tips for Early Morning Workouts
My Fitness Journey | Choosing Yourself First

Eat lots of fresh veggies

In general, adding fresh veggies to your diet is always a good practice. I’ve noticed that just by replacing a snack that I usually have with carrots & celery really helps when I’m feeling bloated. Instead of reaching for some trail mix or chips & salsa, I try to gather some veggies in a bowl & snack on that instead.

I also really like to cook with veggies! I try to add in some bell peppers, onion, spinach, even celery when I’m cooking. I’m not saying to only snack on fresh veggies, but it’s always good practice to add them into your day when you can! Some simple adjustments can go a long way.

Reduce amount of refined carbs

I’m not saying removed carbs from your diet- AT ALL. Carbohydrates are an essential macronutrient that we all need.

I just know that when I overindulged, it’s usually in spaghetti, pizza, ice cream, etc. So, I try to pack my diet with lots of lean meats & veggies, rather than those foods high in refined carbs.

Especially when I came out of the holidays feeling all bloated, I tried not to make pasta or pizza for dinner. Especially since I have a gluten intolerance, I wanted to make sure that I let my body reset and get back to normal.

I didn’t completely cut it out, but I was definitely cognizant about making sure that I gave my body a break from these refined carbs.

Reduce sugar

Suga, suga. I love sugar.

Sweets are definitely my downfall. If there’s candy around, especially Kit Kats, I can’t help myself. During Halloween, I always have a hard time staying away from allllll of the candy. 

Also, ice cream. I freaking LOVE ice cream. 

Of course, these foods are PACKED full of sugar. Once all of the candy and Christmas cookies were gone, I made it an effort to make sure that those sweets were not in my apartment. I admit, I love having those red & green M&Ms in a cute container on my kitchen counter around the holidays, but it’s so hard not to resist a handful whenever I walk by it.

So, once they were all gone, I made sure not to have candies in my apartment after the holidays. Simply just not having them around makes it so much easier because they are simply not around. I don’t even want to know how much sugar I had October-December, but not having those sweets around definitely helped in making sure that I am keeping my sugar intake under control.

Don’t try to go into a food deprivation

While it’s a good idea to eat lots of veggies, reduce carbs & sugar intake, don’t try to force yourself into a food deprivation. Trust me, it doesn’t work. I’ve tried. Many, many times before. 

“I’m only going to eat healthy food!”

Deprivation doesn’t work because your body needs that food. When you crave something, it’s your brain telling your body that it needs what that food has. So, when you deprive yourself of something, your brain will CRAVE that particular food and you are more likely to overindulge. Thus, making the frustrating cycle repeat.

I remember one time I tried to make myself eat only healthy food and after a couple days, I proceeded to down an entire bag of sun chips in one sitting. 

Don’t deprive yourself! It just simply doesn’t work.

Moderation is absolutely key here. I wanted to let you know that in the last couple weeks that I lost 6 inches, I was still eating a bowl of ice cream some nights. I’ve been making sure not to scoop half a gallon into a bowl, but a couple scoops has been good enough for me. In letting myself indulge in moderation, it has helped curb my cravings SIGNIFICANTLY. There was even one night when my boyfriend and I were craving Wendy’s frosties, so we went to Wendy’s and got a small frosty.

Deprivation is not the answer, moderation is.

Take a break from alcohol

Don’t get me wrong, ya girl loves her glass(es) of Pinot Grigio. But, reducing alcohol saves lots of unnecessary calories from your diet. Also, I really don’t like waking up the next day feeling hung over & gross. Plus, when you drink, you tend to snack in unhealthy food. It’s a double whammy.

But, not just binge drinking, but even just having a glass in the evening with dinner. I got in the habit of this, especially around the holidays when wine is everywhereeee.

Now, I try to limit myself to just drinking alcohol on the weekend and limiting myself to just a couple of glasses, or none at all. You have no idea how much better you feel when you don’t drink excessively. So, reducing alcohol intake also has so many incredible benefits.

Take a shot of apple cider vinegar

I’m going to be honest here, apple cider vinegar is absolutely disgusting. But, there are so many digestive benefits to it. I mix a tablespoon of apple cider vinegar with a little bit of water and lemon and take it like a shot. I call this my “health shot”.

I would test out what works best for you with apple cider vinegar. I tried to make it a daily habit to take a shot of apple cider vinegar, but it actually made my stomach really upset after doing it every day for a full week.

Maybe do a little research and see what your options are. I know some people mix it in their hot tea and other things.  But, this is definitely a good thing to try when you are trying to get yourself back on track.

Get right back into your routine

In the past, I’ve found myself so frustrated with myself for indulging, that I’ve found myself neglecting the gym & healthy habits altogether. When I think about this now, that mindset is just simply not productive. This goes back to my first tip- don’t beat yourself up. Like I’ve mentioned many times, truly believe that it all starts with your mindset.

I’ve had people ask me how I’ve been able to stick with my fitness goals for so long & this is exactly it. I started just getting right back into my routine without even thinking about it. I don’t beat myself up anymore. I let myself indulge when I want to, wake up the next morning and get right back into it. The simple adjustment in how I perceive the situation has completely shifted how I’ve been able to stick with my goals.

Have I fallen off a couple time? Yes! Of course, I’m human. We’re all human here. I technically “fell off” around the holidays, but I was able to get myself back on track so easily because of this mindset.

We spend so much time getting mad at ourselves for living life & indulging that we don’t even realize that we can simply just let it be and move on. We are all human. We NEED those times to just live our lives and enjoy the simple pleasures. 

You are in control of letting bad habits become bad habits. You ate too many slices of pizza and a bowl of ice cream? Fine. Let it be. You still planned on getting to the gym tomorrow, so get up and go like usual. 

Can you tell that I’m really big into mindset? I am because I truly believe that everything, I mean everything starts with our mindset. Our perception & what we tell ourselves has a direct impact on how we feel and how we show up for ourselves.

It all starts with doing things out of self-love. I have never been able to stick to a plan when I’m doing it out of self-hate. We must love ourselves & love our bodies.


Want some extra support? I’m running a 5-Day Love Your Body Challenge in my Facebook Group March 23-27!

In this challenge, I will be doing a live training Monday-Friday with tips that I have used to completely transform my mindset & my lifestyle.

>> HOW HAVE I BEEN ABLE TO SHIFT MY MINDSET TO REACH MY GOALS?
>> HOW HAVE I LEARNED HOW TO LOVE MY BODY?
>> WHAT LIFESTYLE CHANGES HAVE I MADE?
>> WHAT TIPS DO I HAVE FOR YOU?

I’m on a mission to help women love themselves, feel confident in their bodies and start getting the most out of life. You want to join this FREE challenge to learn all of my secrets!

Feel free to join if you would like. I would love to help you love yourself & your body. You deserve to be happy & confident!

xx

5 Days To A Better Mindset

I am a big believer in the fact that your mindset dictates everything in your life. Your mindset impacts how you feel physically & show up in the world, and how you show up for yourself altogether.

I have struggled with my own mindset over the last couple years, feeling frustrated and unsure of how to get myself out of the funk that I was in. After testing out different strategies, hiring some coaches and doing TONS of inner work, I’ve been able to figure out how to master my mindset.

Now, I want to help you master YOURS.

I completed a 5-Day Better Mindset Challenge in my private Facebook group, sharing a video training & assignment on what I think is really important in order to master mindset.

Since the women in my group had such a great experience, I have taken the videos and turned them into a course!

This course teaches you:

> how to stay consistent & monitor your mental, emotional & physical well-being
> how to shift your mindset to focus on what you’ve been able to accomplish vs. “failures”
> how to shift your mindset to focus on everything going right vs. everything that goes wrong

What’s included in the course:

This image has an empty alt attribute; its file name is better-mindset-course.png

DAY 1:

My strategy for monitoring my mental, emotional & physical well-being

DAY 2:

Focusing on your accomplishments vs. your failures

DAY 3:

Shifting your mindset to everything you are grateful for

DAY 4:

Shifting your mindset away from complaining & pinpointing the triggers

DAY 5:

Start manifesting your future by focusing on actionable steps towards your goals


Like I already mentioned, the videos in these training are from a challenge I completed on Facebook live in my Facebook community. The information included in this training are what I believe to be essential tools to mastering your mindset to really start showing up in your life!

ARE YOU READY TO TRANSFORM YOUR MINDSET?!

Don’t miss out on my other free trainings inside of my free Facebook community!

>>Strong, confident & empowered women<<

In this group, you will find daily inspiration, encouragement, find yourself in a community of like-minded women who strive to accomplish the same things and an opportunity to work with yours truly directly. ❤

I hope to see you there!


You can also check out my other blog posts that I think you might be interested in:

The Importance of Self-Care

Tips For When You’re Not Feeling Motivated

A lot can happen in just ONE YEAR!

5 Steps For Getting Back On Track & Shifting Your Mindset

Getting Over Extreme Burnout

My 8 Step Process to Overcoming Depression

Conquer your mindset, you can conquer your life! ❤ You got this!

xx

Breaking Free From Society & Creating A Life You Love

As someone who studied psychology in college and has always been fascinated by human behavior, I understand the importance of “fitting in” and being accepted. It’s just a human necessity. 

This can mean social acceptance, which is important for psychological and mental health. But, what about not fitting into generalized education and expectations? 

We are taught in our education system the information that we must be able to master to move onto the next level. But, what if your strengths and potential aren’t highlighted in those generalized areas? Are you just doomed to failure?

This is exactly what happened to me and what I know a lot of people struggle with. You can read more about this experience in My journey from a struggling high school student to starting my own business.

My strengths and potential were not highlighted in generalized education and expectations. I struggled in high school. When I say struggled, I mean STRUGGLED. I failed about 90% of the tests I took. I quite literally passed high school with test corrections and test retakes.

I couldn’t figure out what was wrong with me. I did everything that I was told I needed to do to master and understand the material. I studied hard. I tried all the techniques. I went into school early to get help and stayed after school. I did all the things and still couldn’t get it figured out.

I remember wanting to be successful so bad. But, there were times when I just thought that I wasn’t smart enough and didn’t have what it took to reach a level of success that I had always envisioned for myself. At that time, I wanted to get my doctorate in psychology. It was always a goal in the back of my mind. But, how could I possibly expect to get my doctorate when I was BARELY passing high school?

There were so many times when I was so frustrated because I just wanted to be smart like everyone else. I didn’t want to feel “dumb” and incapable. 

What I didn’t realize at the time, is that I was completely capable of success, it just looks a little bit different than the majority of people. I have unique talents and expertise that makes me so special and just as capable of success. I just had to work a little harder and go through some extra hoops to figure it out.

Our system teaches us that everything is going to be accomplished in a straight, linear line. There’s no telling what will happen if/when it doesn’t work out that way. So, when your life doesn’t progress like we thought it would, we immediately think that something is wrong.

Something is wrong with me

You go to school, get a degree, get a job, work until retirement. You’ll make enough money to get by, but never enough to be truly satisfied. That’s just life, right? That’s just the way it is.

But, what if there’s something more? I believe there is. You can read more about my opinion on this in my post about Why I’m Proud of Millennials and Proud To Be One.

I envision a fantasy life that I believe is completely attainable. 

I want to create something for myself, a life that I truly love living. I want to wake up every single morning, excited for the day ahead of me. I want my work to energize me, maybe even feel like I’m not really doing “work”. But, I want to make a difference and an impact.

You can sit at a desk for 9 hours a day, working “hard”, but not feeling fulfilled and like you’re truly making a difference in the world.

I believe in a world that isn’t micromanaged. 

A world that allows you to be who you are and make the impact that you are meant to make. Whatever that looks like for each person. Whether that means with a degree or no degree. We were all put on this earth for a reason and I believe that it is possible to live out that dream.

We’re taught that dreams are meant to be just that… Dreams. You must go to work and work until you are told that you can be done. If you’re already done with your work, scroll on your phone and pretend to be working until it’s time to go. 

If you hate what you do and dread Mondays, why not go on a journey to finding something that truly energizes you? 

For me, I’ve always wanted to make a difference in people’s lives. I knew that was my calling from a young age. It fires me up and makes me feel amazing. But, my career path has not been able to fulfill this for me. Even the business I’ve created at times. Sometimes, you have to be able to understand when and where it’s time to make a change. 

At the end of the day, you are in control of your life. Only you are fully in control of your life. 

It’s h a r d and frustrating to figure out what in the world you are supposed to be doing on earth. You feel like there’s only so many times you can fail and get back up without getting completely discouraged. Fearing that you just might make a complete fool of yourself. 

We’ve all been there and we don’t like it. But, at some point, it’s time to put pen to paper and really dig into who you are as a person. What you are meant to be doing on this earth. Sometimes, your journey doesn’t look like what others look like and that is completely fine!

So… how do you create a life that you truly love? Here are some things to think about.

What are some of your unique talents?

Like, really unique. We all have unique talents that makes us who we are and makes us so special. We all have something special & incredible to offer the world. 

There was one part of You Are A Badass: How To Stop Doubting Your Greatness And Start Living An Awesome Life by Jen Sincero that really sticks out to me and I think is incredibly important.

She’s talking about going after your dreams, because someone out there needs what you have to offer. Sometimes our dreams seem so out of reach that we don’t really think about even trying to take action on them. I talk about this more in-depth in my post on A lot can happen in just ONE YEAR!.

What is something really energizes you?

This question seems really simple & easy, but it can be a tricky question. I know that it was for me when I was trying to figure out what it is that I really wanted to do. I just remembered how happy I felt when I was helping others work through any problems going on in their lives. 

I went through a whole process and you can read more about it in BUSINESS PLAN FOR 2020 / CHANGES TO BUSINESS. If you are having a hard time coming up with ideas, you can always reach out to friends/family & get an idea of what you are really good at!

What are you really passionate about?

This can be anything! Think hard about this because I think it’s really important to be able to incorporate the things that you are truly passionate about in your everyday life. This doesn’t necessarily have to be in terms of your career, but just any hobby or anything that you really love!

What does your dream life look like?

We all have a dream life that we think about, but don’t always think it’s attainable so we don’t even think about trying to act upon them. Think reallll hard about what this life looks like for you!

How attainable is your dream life?

Like I already mentioned, we often think that our “dream life” isn’t really attainable, so we don’t even try to take any action to reach that dream life status. I used to think the exact same way until I started realizing that I am completely in control of the trajectory of my life.

I bet that your dream life isn’t as out of reach as you would think. It’s up to you if you are willing to put in the work, including the mindset work to reach those goals. 

What actionable steps can you take to start living your ideal life?

What can you start doing TODAY to start making those dreams a reality? Are you going to start buying books and educate yourself more? Are you going to make it a goal to start putting yourself out in the world, jump out of your comfort zone so you can start growing & learning? Hire somebody to help you figure out how you can make those dreams a reality?

Trust me, there are probably simple steps that you can be taking TODAY to start living your dream life & start creating a life you love. 

What would you be doing if the generalization of society wasn’t holding you back?

Yes, throw away whatever society says you should be doing! Screw that. This is your life and you are in complete control of the outcomes of your life. 

Take away everything society says you should be doing and really think about what you would be doing with your life if society didn’t tell you what your life should look like!

Forget about society. Forget about generalization. This is all about YOU and what YOU want to get out of life! ❤


At the end of the day, I think that it is really important to really think about what it is that we really love to do and are passionate about. I think that the pressure that comes with the generalization of society can hold us back and make us feel like we can’t live a life that we truly love and makes us happy.

Life doesn’t always progress the way we are taught and doesn’t always look the same as everyone around us. The important thing to remember is to be true to yourself and not let the potential judgements & criticisms hold you back from living your life to the fullest. I believe it is possible, many people have done it before and many people are going to continue doing it.

The time is now to REALLY live your life! ❤

xx

My Morning Routine As A Young Entrepreneur Working From Home

We’ve all heard all about how setting a solid morning routine is incredibly important for starting the day. I don’t believe there’s one “perfect” morning routine universal for everyone. What works really well for me might not work for you and vice versa and that’s OK! But, I do think it’s important for everyone to set one for themselves & test out different strategies to figure out what that ideal morning routine looks like. 

The thing about routines is that they change often. They change with us, when certain life shifts happen. For me, it’s changed many times over the years & especially with starting my own business working from home.

Personally, I’m a BIG morning person. I’m definitely one of those “annoying morning people” that people like to complain about. I just think mornings are so peaceful, especially early mornings. I love getting up early before the sun and taking my time to get ready for the day because how I spend my mornings definitely sets the tone for how the rest of the day is going to be. 

Figuring out what works for you

Since everyone is different, it’s important to learn about yourself & test out different things to be able to come up with a solid morning routine. One thing that I’ve learned about myself over the years is that I get stressed out really easily. It’s frustrating, but it’s just one of those traits that I have. Once I get stressed out, it’s hard to get myself back together & I have figured out the best way to deal with it is to prevent myself from getting to that point. 

The most prominent thing that I’ve learned for preventing stress is being planned, organized & prepared. The feeling of being behind or that I am under time pressure is one of the easiest ways for me to get overwhelmed. I need to have things planned out and prepared ahead of time, I do not handle procrastination well AT ALL! 

My morning routine might seem a bit excessive for some, but this is what works for me. After experimenting with my morning routine for several years now, I’ve been able to pinpoint certain things that are important for my morning routine. 

Here’s what my routine looks like:

My morning routine starts the night before

I think this is true for a lot of people, but making sure everything is prepped & ready is helpful in making sure the morning flows smoothly. Plus, you can save yourself a lot of time & stress in the AM!

I prep the coffee maker, prep breakfast (crack eggs into a tupperware, measure oats), prep snacks/smoothie so I just have to reach in the fridge throughout the day.

I also lay out my gym clothes & make sure everything is packed in my gym bag. Having everything ready helps me feel like I can make sure I’m not rushed and make sure that I don’t get stressed out!

(I’ll write another post on my night time routine!) 



EArly morning gym time

I have been going to the gym first thing in the morning for about a year and a half now. A lot of people call me crazy, but it’s been the most amazing lifestyle shift. I’ve found that getting my workout done first thing in the morning helps with my anxiety & not talking myself out of getting to the gym throughout the day.

You can read more about this in How/ Why I Go To The Gym At 5AM & also 3 Tips for Early Morning Workouts if you are thinking about transitioning to working out early!

Starting my day with a sweaty workout has been the key thing to making sure that I don’t get overwhelmed. I notice that if I go more than 2 days without a workout, I get on edge and start feeling overwhelmed & stressed out. It’s such a great feeling to start the day getting to the gym early & clear my mind! 

Breakfast

I always have breakfast with my boyfriend when we get back from the gym! He jumps in the shower & gets ready for work while I prepare a healthy breakfast for both of us. Having everything prepped the night before helps makes things so much easier for me!

Meditation

I’ve been experimenting with meditation for the last couple years. I have been inconsistent with it, but I have recently added it back into my morning routine. I’ve been trying to make it a habit to meditate for 5-10 minutes after I shower & get dressed and it honestly helps significantly. 

Once I start, I notice how much my mind is focused on all the tasks I have to do for the day. Letting my mind calm down helps me to be able to focus & think more clearly.

Even though I’ve been practicing meditation for a couple years, I’m not very good at it! It really takes a lot of practice. It can be difficult to shut everything off & focus just on your breath, so I’m a big fan of guided meditations. My favorite guided Meditations are in the Sanvello app that I talked about in My 8 Step Process to Overcoming Depression.

Sitting in mediation for 5-10 minutes helps me calm my mind so I feel nice & grounded. Since I get stressed out easily, making sure my mind is calm & clear is extremely important in making sure that I don’t start my workday feeling like my mind is all over the place.

Journaling

After calming my mind with 5-10 minutes of meditation, I sit at my desk and get ready for the work day. You’ve heard me mention this many times, especially in The Power of Journaling! Over the summer I would sit out on my patio for about 30 minutes to journal & get some fresh air.

I journal about what’s on my mind, what’s bothering me, what I feel like I need to get done for the day & how I’m feeling. I just let my mind do the writing and get everything out that I need to. I find that getting everything out of my head & onto paper helps me organize my thoughts and make sure that my mind is calm and ready to take on the day.

Sometimes I find myself thinking that I can skip journaling & sometimes I do. When I do skip journaling for a couple of days, I start getting overwhelmed so I try not to make it habit.

I actually just recently talked myself out of journaling for about a week because I had a lot on my to-do list. I started feeling myself get consumed by my thoughts around everything I had to get done. After I noticed this, I decided I needed to stop talking myself out of it & I ended up journaling for about 2 pages. Taking the time to journal has really helped in getting everything out of my head and out on paper, ultimately helping me feel better & better able to focus.

Review my to-do list & make a plan for the day

I try my best to write out my to-do list the night before, but that doesn’t always happen & sometimes I have some new ideas that I want to add into my schedule. So, I make sure that I take some time to review everything that needs to be done and make sure I have a plan for the day.

By this time, it’s around 8am and I am ready to get started on my work for the day! It’s always so nice to be able to start the workday with a clear mind & fresh perspective. We are all so busy and often get caught up in the motions of everyday life that we don’t take the time for ourselves.

I have enjoyed the transition to being my own boss & working from home, but it has been a hard & stressful journey! Being completely in control of my time & schedule is difficult, but I’ve been able to figure out what works best for me. Having a solid morning routine in place, especially focusing on self-care and prioritizing my mental health has been so refreshing!

I hope you take the time to try out different things for your morning routine. Even making it a goal to get up a little bit earlier so you can ease into your day can be very helpful!

xx

The Circle of Life / Navigating the loss of loved ones & tragic events

I started writing this post MONTHS ago when I was on my way to visit my grandmother. I started writing it in the car when emotions were high. Life happened and I never got back to finishing this post. I remember planning on publishing it shortly after she passed, but never got around to it because things got busy.

But, recent events going on in the world have me back to feeling high into emotion.

We are constantly going through the motions of life,  focused on whatever is going on in our lives, until something happens that forces us to take a step back and really reflect.

I have been all focused on my business this past month. I’ve been really motivated and, but with that I’ve been neglecting my own self-care that I preach about. I was aware this was happening, but I told myself that it was OK because I wanted to take advantage of this motivation that I was feeling. 

I was getting so much done and it was incredibly liberating to feel that energy again because I had been lacking it for months. There’s so much that I want to do and I was finally feeling the motivation and the drive to actually put that desire to ACTION. 

Then, the series of tragedies to start 2020 began. My heart always hurts a little bit when tragedies happen. Especially ones that are so widespread and effect so many people. From the fires in Australia, a series of fatal house fires here in my home town, senseless crimes, reading news on my feed of people I know losing loved ones. 

Then, we received the news about Kobe Bryant and for some reason, that news hit me like a ton of bricks and all of my emotions started pouring to me. The more we learned about the accident, the more heartbreaking the whole story became.

I think Lizzo said it best her grammy speech,“This week I was lost in my problems, then in an instant all of that can go away and your priorities really shift.”

We all take life for granted at times. We are all so blessed to be here and often don’t take the time to really appreciate that. Tomorrow isn’t guaranteed, but things happen, tragic things happen. Not only to us, but to our loved ones. 

I did want to remind everyone that it’s okay to be sad and angry and frustrated when things happen, because they will. It’s hard to understand & comprehend why bad things happen to good people & it’s impossible to justify why they happen.

Whatever you do, don’t suppress your feelings & emotions. Cry if you need to, yell if you need to, curse into your pillow. Do what ever you need to do to release those emotions from your system, into the universe.

Give yourself permission to be sad during tragic times & don’t forget to take care of yourself.

The series of tragic events have forced me to stop and think for a moment. Think about things that are really important to me that I’ve been neglecting because I have been so focused on my work I’ve been working SO HARD and I have been able to accomplish some really amazing work over the last couple weeks of this new year. I’ve put my own self-care on the back burner, and a lot of other things that are really important to me. But, these events have forced me to come back to this blog post that I had started 4-5 months ago. It brought me back to losing my grandmother this past fall and how grateful I have been to have all of my grandparents in my life for so long. 


I have been so lucky to have had ALL of my grandparents for 23 years. All four of them. It was something that I didn’t realize how lucky I was and how rare that is. Not only did I have 2 amazing parents, but I also had 4 amazing grandparents.

It was always a blessing to know that my parents would show their support for my brother and I by coming to our sports games and any other activities we were involved in. We always knew that we would look up in the stands and see them cheering us on. Then at least once a year, we would look up in our stands and see both sets of grandparents up in the stands with them.

We would receive phone calls on our birthdays, birthday cards, Christmas cards, lots of family gatherings. I mean, I had the best childhood and was so incredibly blessed that I had that in my life for 23 years.

In April 2016, my mom’s mom was put on hospice and passed away a short time later. It was the first time when I really had to experience intense grief. It was when I saw my own mom struggling to deal with the loss of her mother and have to take care of her father because he slowly started to decline after her passing.

He started to decline. My mother and her siblings had to take turns taking care of him until it was his time to be called Home. This is the Circle of Life.

Just 2 short months later, my mom’s father passed away. The grief was almost overwhelming. It was hard seeing my own mother so upset and having to deal with the intense grief that comes with losing both parents in such a short amount of time.

I didn’t deal with this loss well. At all. My mental health struggled and I was just extremely sad to see such an important part of my life disappear. But, in the process I gained some incredible guardian angels.

It then hit me that I will soon have to go through the same thing with my dad’s parents, especially since they are about 10 years older than my mom’s parents.

Well, September 2019 was that time. Time for us to prepare to say goodbye to my dad’s mom. As of right now, while I’m writing this, it’s Saturday September 14, 2019. My boyfriend and I are on our way to visit my grandmother. She was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer the weekend prior and was put on hospice. At this moment, she doesn’t have that much time. We are on our way to say our goodbyes.

It’s heartbreaking. It’s heartbreaking to see my grandparents go through this time in their lives and to ultimately leave earth. All the memories are just memories.

It’s hard to see my parents have to struggle to help their parents make the transition to be called Home. To see them have to make hard decisions.

This visit ended up not being the last time I saw her. I visited her again on October 22 with my mom and she passed away on October 25. At the end of the day, I miss all of my grandparents. I miss them dearly & wish that I could bring them back & heal the heartbreak my parents feel.

But, this is the Circle of Life. They did their part on earth. They lived their lives, but unfortunately all good things must come to an end. This is the hard part that comes with life, having to say goodbye to the ones that we love. To turn those happy fun moments into distant memories.

To carry their legacy with us. To keep their memory alive.

They lived their life, it’s time for me to live mine. 

My 8 Step Process to Overcoming Depression

*Before I start, I want to emphasize the fact the depression is very serious. While I have a degree in psychology, I am NOT a trained professional. If you feel like you need professional help, please seek professional help immediately! These tips are what helped me when I was experiencing depression. Just know that you are not alone, we are in this together! ❤ 

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255  


Depression is an unexplainable thing. It’s extremely serious and a lot of people experience depression to a certain extent at some time in their lives. It can come at any time and affect people in different ways. While depression can be a very isolating feeling, I want everyone to know that you are very much not alone. It can be very difficult to understand that while you are going through feeling of depression, but I want anyone reading this to know that you don’t have to go through this alone. 

Depression hit me hard and I was confused why I was feeling the way I was feeling because I truly have an amazing life. I was raised by the most amazing parents who gave me everything that I could have ever needed in my life growing up. I was always loved and truly had everything I needed to be happy. I have always been a naturally happy, cheerful, positive person. I have always loved that about myself and always wanted to spread as much happiness as possible. Which is why I wanted to pursue a career in psychology.

So, when I was feeling like I was slipping into depression, I honestly felt guilty and confused. 

On paper, I had everything that I could have ever needed in my life. I had every reason to be happy. I knew there were so many people in the world dealing with much harder situations, so I truly felt guilty. I felt like I didn’t need to feel the way that I did. What I didn’t understand at the time is that anyone can experience depression. It doesn’t matter how blessed you feel like you are. 

Depression isn’t just a “bad day” where you just “get over it” and move on. It’s not an emotion. Depression is serious and needs to be taken seriously. Most of the time, it takes some kind of therapy to dive deep into cognitive processes and treat the source as deemed necessary by a professional. 

It doesn’t mean something is wrong with you or you did anything wrong. However, I completely understand and resonate with people who tell themselves this on a daily basis. I know how serious depression is and how damaging it can be. While I experienced mild depression, I didn’t need to be put on an antidepressant, however some people do need to be.

There were some things that helped me & I want to take the time to write out the process I used to climb out of the depression. I hope that anyone reading this finds some hope that they will be able to make it through this and be able to experience at least some relief. ❤


1.I WENT TO THERAPY.

The absolute number one thing I want to mention first is I sought out professional help. I tried to do it on my own, but I eventually realized that it just wasn’t possible. So, I found a counselor in my network and I started going to therapy. To be honest, I never thought I would be someone who went to therapy. I always saw myself as someone being the therapist. I thought that if I went to therapy, that would mean that I didn’t have what it took to be a therapist, because I should be able to help myself if I’m going to help others. If that’s you at all, just know that’s absolutely not true! 

I truly give credit to therapy for really jump starting my healing process. If I didn’t have the therapy, I don’t think I would have been able to get through it, to be honest. It is so incredibly helpful to have a safe space to talk about everything going on, to cry if you need to and to have someone there to help you through it all. Every time I went, I would leave feeling 10 pounds lighter than I did when I walked in. Trust me when I say that the first step is to seek professional help. Trying to get through it on your own is almost impossible. It’s OK to allow yourself to get help if you need it! 

2. I STARTED TAKING SELF-CARE SERIOUSLY.

In addition to counseling, there’s definitely some inner work that needs to happen between sessions. One 1-hr session biweekly isn’t going to deliver results, because there’s work that you need to do on your own to. I remember things like struggling to sleep at night became nightly occurrence. I was sleeping an average of 3-4 hours per night and I was always exhausted.

In my first session with my therapist, she gave me several things to do to start taking care of myself better. Some things she told me to work on were: journaling, meditation, getting outside, exercising. The more I started started really focusing on myself and my self-care, the more I started noticing things falling into place. It was a hard journey, but definitely worth it in the end. Make sure you are really prioritizing your self-care! If you want some self-care ideas, make sure you check out my post on The Importance of Self-Care. ❤

3. I STARTED JOURNALING REGULARLY.

Journaled, and journaled some more! I know I’ve talked about this a lot, but I give a lot of credit to journaling for my progress. There’s just so many benefits that can come from journaling if you do it regularly. It can be a little weird to get started because you might not know what to talk about, but I promise if you keep at it, it will become a habit and you will start uncovering a lot going on in your subconscious! I wrote a blog post all about the transformative experience I’ve had with journaling and you can read all about it in The Power of Journaling.

4. I DOWNLOADED THE SANVELLO APP (PREVIOUSLY PACIFICA).

I’m actually surprised that I’ve never heard anyone other than my therapist talk about this app. I used this app religiously for 1-2 years while I was healing. I love it because there are guided meditations, journal prompts, you can rate how your day is going and so many other things. There is a free version, but you do have to pay to upgrade to use all of its features. I would pay for a month or 2 at a time while I felt like I needed extra help. You can easily downgrade the update the settings in the iTunes app.

I would highly recommend this app if you feel like you need some extra help! 

5. MADE IT A GOAL TO GET OUTSIDE everyday.

When I was feeling depressed, I noticed that all I wanted to do was lay in my dark room and watch TV. That’s literally ALL that I wanted to do. When I got home from work, I would change into the comfiest clothes I owned, turned off the lights and climbed into bed. That’s where I stayed until I had to get up the next morning for work. It could have been the most beautiful day outside & all I wanted to do was lay in bed in my dark room. So, I started making it a goal to get outside for at least 30 minutes a day. At least just sit outside on the patio, or even better, go for a walk. I just knew that I needed to get outside and get some fresh air. 

What started as just sitting outside for a half hour, turned into actually getting some exercise. I started going on walks every morning when I got up. I would go for walks during the sunrise, take deep breaths and really take in the beauty of nature. I also started walking around during my lunch breaks at work. Just to get outside, walk around and debrief. Nature is truly powerful!

6. I STARTED EXERCISING AGAIN.

I have always been into exercising. I grew up an athlete and always enjoyed being in the gym. In a Behavioral Psychology class I took in college, I remember the professor asking us to write down one thing that would be a sign something was wrong if we stopped doing it. Something we are truly passionate about. For me, it was working out. So, when I found that I hadn’t gone to the gym in 2-3 months, I knew that I needed to slowly get back into it. Even if it just meant going on a walk in the evening. Just starting slow. Starting somewhere. 

So, I started making it a goal to get to the gym a couple times a week after work. I slowly started making working out a priority again and started noticing myself feeling better about myself. You can read more about this in My Fitness Journey | Choosing Yourself First.

7. I started eating healthier.

Here’s the thing, I actually lost about 10 pounds while going through this. But, losing weight DOES NOT ALWAYS EQUAL HAPPINESS. Especially in this example because I was not making healthy choices. I wasn’t eating a lot and when I was, I was eating things like cliff bars for dinner. When I did eat, it wasn’t always the best food choices. Honestly, when you start fueling your body with nutritious foods, you start feeling so much better overall. Like everything, this takes a lot of time and patience.

I actually hired an online health coach that made a plan for me because I knew that I needed some help. While I completely understand that this isn’t always financially reasonable for some people, there are so many resources online to refer to in making some changes to diet. There are so many ways to make small changes throughout the day to keep damaging chemicals out of the body. 

There’s just so much benefit to fueling your body with healthy, nutritious foods. Other than the known benefits to you physically, it can help with your mental health as well. Just simply changing my diet helped me start to feel better!

8. I started hanging out with friends.

I remember during this time, I wasn’t really motivated to go out and hang out with friends. I found myself wanting to just stay home and watch TV all day. While it was lonely, that’s what I preferred.

But, I noticed that when I did spend time outside of the house and interacting with my friends, that I actually started feeling better. So, I made it a goal to start making plans with my friends.

Even though you might feel exhausted and just want to lay around all day by yourself, just getting yourself out can make you start feeling better!


RECAP

At the end of the day, it’s taken about 2-3 years of working on myself to get to where I am today. There is no magic solution to feeling better and loving yourself again, or maybe for the first time. You’re not going to wake up one day feeling amazing. There’s not going to be a magic feeling that you are ready to conquer the world. 

However, starting with small goals will turn into HUGE accomplishments. The process will look different for everyone. But, I know there are a couple universal things that will help most people. Those things being:

  • Getting professional help
  • Journaling
  • Getting outside
  • Exercising
  • Fueling the body with healthy, unprocessed food
  • Getting yourself out of the house and spending time with friends

One other thing I recommend doing is tracking progress. For me, this is done by writing in my journal. I keep all of my journals and sometimes refer back to them. I find myself looking back at the same day a year or two prior, just to see all of the progress I’ve made over the years. Just when you feel like you haven’t made any progress, you will realize how far you have truly come.

You got this! Don’t be afraid to reach out for help if you need it! ❤

xx

Getting Over Extreme Burnout

If you’ve ever experienced extreme burnout, you know just how frustrating it can be. It’s something that happens to just about everyone at some point and it can be really difficult to get over it. 

Over the last year of building my business, I had to go through a really important learning experience about building a business. The most prevalent thing that I had to figure out was how to schedule my time to best fit my schedule and how I work best.  [You can read more about this in my post about 2019 Reflection + What I Learned In My First Year In Business.]

When you have a job, there’s already a process in place and you just have to learn it and adjustments are made when necessary. When you are building a business, you have to figure all of that out on your own. Especially if you are building your own business and just starting out, it’s most likely just YOU. A one woman/man show. Which is a very wonderful thing because you get to be in complete control of the business and build it exactly how you want. 

But, it also means that you are to figure everything out by yourself. Figure out how to do everything, when to do everything. The best process that makes the most sense and works FOR you, in your favor. 

What I learned is that you have no idea what you don’t know. You have to go through a learning/trial & error time period before the puzzle pieces start coming together. After the first year of my business, I definitely understand how a lot of people decide to stop pursuing their business because it can be incredibly mentally draining. You don’t know what you’re doing. You keep standing up, just to get knocked back down again. You question whether you have what it takes. You take on the wrong clients. Money isn’t flowing in like you wanted it to. You start feeling discouraged and maybe a bit burnt out.

You feel like you’re constantly shouting into the abyss, working way more than you have before and not getting very far. After you try so hard for so long with no system or understanding of what to do, it gets tiring, frustrating & overwhelming.

I’m learning that starting a business is a mental test.

It’s extremely hard and exhausting at first, but if you keep standing up, the pieces start falling into place. For me, I ended up falling into a really extreme burnout. I started despising my work. I had a hard time just getting myself to figure out what I needed to do when I sat at my desk in the morning. I was constantly exhausted and felt like I just needed to lay around all day. 

It’s confusing and it’s hard. I’ve had to experience so many mental breakdowns. Moments of frustration because I just wanted to figure this out so I can finally get my career going. There were so many times when I just sat there and thought that maybe I didn’t have what it took to run a business and be successful like I thought I was capable of. 

After dealing with what I describe as an extreme level of burnout for about 6 months, I can finally say that I have finally found myself climbing out of the dark whole that I accidentally worked myself into. It took lots of hard work. Lots of trusting the process. Lots of making myself stand back up even though I just wanted to stay down at times because it was easier… and less disappointing. 

I know lots of people deal with burnout at some point and I know just how frustrating and exhausting it can be. I know my example I just talked about was about building a business, but burnout can happen to anyone at any time. No matter what situation you are getting burnt out from, all you want to do is feel excited and energized about what you are doing, but all you feel is exhausted and don’t feel like doing a thing. You want to get it figured out, but can’t seem to figure out how.

I wanted to share my tips about how I dealt with major burnout and how I managed to keep myself going, even though I really wanted to throw in the towel at times.

give yourself A BREAK

My number one tip is absolutely, without a doubt, TAKE A BREAK. When I say take a break, I mean give yourself a real break. I spent months trying to just lay down and give my body a rest, but I wasn’t giving my mind a rest. Meaning, I while I was laying there, I was still thinking about everything I still needed to do & trying to come up with a plan to get those things done. I would find myself scrolling on Pinterest trying to find helpful advice & get the inspiration I was so desperately looking for. 

I was doing this pretty much everyday for several months, everyday getting more and more frustrated because I wasn’t getting anywhere. I was feeling an active resistance in my mind, just couldn’t focus on ANYTHING. Which was even more frustrating because I felt like I had so much to do and I was so deep in a mental funk that I couldn’t even figure out how to be productive. 

It wasn’t until my business coach told me to take 3 FULL DAYS rest to do nothing. Clear my plate for 3 FULL DAYS and let myself [especially my mind] rest. The thought of taking 3 full days can be a really daunting thought at first. I thought there was no way I can take off 3 days because I have SO MUCH to do! I take about this more in 5 Steps For Getting Back On Track & Shifting Your Mindset!

But, it was either take the break, or let myself struggle with burnout & being productive. So, I took the break. I had to tell myself that this is what I needed to reset because what I had been doing thus far just wasn’t working. Sometimes, you just need to allow yourself to surrender and trust that this will work. I had to convince myself that what I was currently doing obviously wasn’t working & I HAD to try something different.

It did work. I came out of the 3 day break just feeling so much lighter and calm. My energy started coming back and I could just feel the difference. I am so happy I decided to trust that it would work because I would still be in that mental funk if I didn’t.

Take the break, friends. Like, a real break. It can be the best thing you do for yourself [& your business if applicable!]. 

Are you trying to do too much?

The answer is probably: YES! Holy moly, I was trying to do too much at once, it’s no wonder I started feeling burnt out when I looked back at everything I was trying to do. It’s really important that you take a step back and really think about all that you are doing and trying to do and if it’s really worth your time & effort at the moment.

However, I’m glad that I was trying to do a little bit of everything because I was able to figure out where I really wanted to focus most of my time. Everyone always tells you not to try to do too much at a time, which I agree because you simply can’t. But, if you find yourself getting overwhelmed, make sure you take a step back and really figure out what is worth your time at the moment and what can take a back burner.

Being able to identify the things that overwhelm you the most will be helpful in figuring out what you can hold off on at the moment. It’s OK to not do everything at once! This was also where I found it helpful to hire a business coach, because she was able to help me identify where I should be focusing my time and would give me the OK to hold off on some other things.

When you give yourself permission to let go of some things, you are letting your mind focus on ONLY the things that are really important at the moment. Trying to do too much is just exhausting.

JOURNAL & journal some more!

Am I sounding like a broken record yet? If you’ve read any of my other posts, you know that I’m a HUGE fan of journaling! I’ve mentioned journaling so many times in my most recent posts and you’re probably like, “OK Jess, we get it! You think journaling is great.”

If you’re new here, I invite you to read all about my transformative experiences with journaling in my posts about The Importance of Self-Care & The Power of Journaling.

I’m just saying… Maybe if I keep talking about it, you’ll start believing me! I just think that journaling about what’s going on can really help with getting everything that is bothering you out of your subconscious and onto paper can be incredibly powerful. This is one of my favorite things to do to start my work day because it helps me get some kind of clarity. It helps me understand what is going on in my mind and what I am struggling with that particular day. It also helps track progress and notice patterns. 

TALK ABOUT IT

In addition to writing about what’s going on, I also find that talking to someone helps as well. This doesn’t have to be in a therapy session, it can be a friend or anyone who you trust with what is going on at the moment. I’ve noticed that there’s certain people that are easier to talk to about certain things. But, just talking to someone about what’s going on can make a HUGE difference. 

Not to mention, they can help you see more clearly. Some things that might be foggy to you, might help getting some outside perspective. There are just some things that are helpful to seek help from and this is definitely one of those things. 

You can find support in my FREE Facebook community if you would like! I know I keep talking about it, but I do want to extend that offer if it would be at all of interest for you.

Strong, Confident & Empowered Women

In this group, you will find daily inspiration, encouragement, find yourself in a community of like-minded women who strive to accomplish the same things and an opportunity to work with yours truly directly.

Don’t be afraid to ask for help if you need it!

move your body/EXERCISE

I think everyone can agree that you feel so much better after getting in a good, sweaty workout. Even though you feel like just sitting on the couch all day doing nothing, just getting up and getting your sweat on can help turn your mood around. 

I have been going to the gym first thing in the morning on weekdays for a year and a half now and it has been a game changer for me! You can check out my blog post on How/Why I Go To The Gym At 5AM & My Fitness Journey | Choosing Yourself First. Going to the gym early has ultimately helped my mental health, helped me stay on track with my workouts and has become my non-negotiable. Some of my best workouts have happened when I felt like I didn’t want to workout.

However, I do agree with giving your body a physical rest if that’s what you feel like you need. As long as you don’t continue to stay there. Give yourself a rest from the gym and get right back into it. I personally did this a couple times and I think this is also a good idea if you feel that’s what you need. Definitely listen to your body!

Seek inspiration, where ever it may be

For me, I get inspired by reading into and watching other women do what I want to be doing. I love to watch YouTube videos and even insta-creep. There’s something about seeing others killin it that gives me inspiration to keep going.

HOWEVER….

Try not to get too consumed by social media! There is such thing as too much of a good thing. If you find yourself going down a rabbit hole and not getting much benefit, it might be a good idea to turn it off.

This might not work for everyone! But, this is something that works for me. Maybe you find inspiration in other ways?? If you do, maybe try exploring that and see if it helps you at all!

Read a good book

I have also been talking about reading a lot lately. I’ve been talking about it a lot, because it really has helped me a lot. I’m not usually one to enjoy reading, but I have found reading to be very helpful when I was going through burnout.

I remember feeling desperate to find answers. I actually craved reading, which was odd for me, because I usually don’t like reading. But, I ordered some books and I started feeling myself get motivated.

I would give myself time to myself, away from social media, away from work to just read for 30 minutes to an hour. I was hooked and I started feeling better. But, you have to be consistent with it.

I mention about 5 books in my post A lot can happen in just ONE year & My Favorites, but here are my 3 favorites right now that I can’t stop talking about!


I hope you found these tips helpful! Trust me when I say I understand how frustrating burnout can be. I was struggling with burnout for what felt like 6 months and I just couldn’t seem to pull myself together.

For me, giving myself a break and taking a step back from everything is what really helped bring myself back together. When I’m in a constant state of chaos and overwhelm, it’s hard to do just about anything & I think that’s true for a lot of people.

Just know that you are not the only one going through this and you are going to come out on the other side stronger and more knowledgabale than you were before! These times can be seen as a great learning experience and opportunity for growth. Coming out, you will have a better understanding of yourself and know more about what to do and not to do in the future!

xx