Tag: mental health

Why I Check In With Myself Every Week

One question that I get a lot is: “How have you been able to remain consistent?” I think this is a great question because it was a long journey to figure out the secret to consistency.

I want to share a strategy that I started implementing that has helped me stay consistent in my fitness journey over the last couple years. Not only has this strategy helped with my physique, but it’s helped me make sure that I am monitoring my mental health as well.

A couple years ago, I went through a really rough time in my life. I fell into a depression & ultimately I felt like everything was crumbling around me. I wanted to pick myself back up & keep moving forward, but I felt stuck, lost and confused. I was constantly beating myself up for not not being able to get myself back “on track”. (If you want more info on how I got through this particular time, you can read more about My 8 Step Process to Overcoming Depression).

What I noticed was that I was having trouble being consistent & it became more & more frustrating. Every time I thought I was gaining positive momentum, I would fall off track again. It was incredibly frustrating & discouraging. I was constantly getting frustrated with myself for thinking that I wasn’t making progress, not understanding what I needed to do to keep moving forward. 

What I eventually realized is that I needed to understand where my baseline was mentally & physically.  I needed clarity and understanding about what I needed to do to keep moving forward. 

I think that a lot of people trying to find balance in their lives and trying to maintain a healthy lifestyle struggle with consistency. I’ve been able to maintain consistency in my healthy lifestyle for a while now and I’ve had a handful of people reach out to me asking what I’ve done to maintain this lifestyle. 

So… what is this secret strategy that I started implementing?

Weekly mental, emotional, physical check in with myself.

I started doing this weekly check in to keep myself accountable & do an evaluation of where I am in my life mentally, emotionally & physically. 

The idea for this came from my fitness journey when I would take progress pictures to track my physical progress. While this is important, I also think that it’s incredibly important to track your mental & emotional well-being as well. 

So, I created a weekly evaluation for myself that I call the Mind + Body Inventory & what I believe is the first step to a better mindset.  

Here’s what it looks like:

Every Monday morning I,

  • take a series of progress pictures (front, side, back)
  • do measurements of my waist, hips, butt, bust, arm & leg
  • upload them into a google drive and write answers to series of questions evaluating where I am mentally & emotionally. 

Here’s what I have noticed as a result of checking in with myself every week:

It keeps me accountable

It is really easy to tell ourselves that we “don’t have time”. Self-care practices are very important, but are often the first things that we neglect due to the inevitable (not to mention, unhelpful) “I don’t have time”. But, our mental & physical health determines how we show up in our lives. 

Making it a necessity to check in with myself weekly, to see where I am and evaluate what’s going on in my life has helped significantly. I keep track of what’s going on and to be able to understand and determine what I need to do to keep moving forward. 

If I find myself coming up with an excuse to not do this, I tell myself that this needs to be done. It’s a necessity. I have goals and I am ready to take ACTION on them. It is a reminder that I need to do this in order to make sure that I don’t fall into a hole of burnout again.

I talk more about this in my
Better Mindset Course!

LEARN MORE

I celebrate how far I have come 

Doing this evaluation also helps me to be able to track my progress, so I can see the progress I’ve made, when I didn’t think I’ve made any.

I’m really big on celebrating wins/accomplishments throughout a journey, because it helps keep me motivated (I even wrote a post on this in The Importance of Celebrating Accomplishments). It’s really discouraging when you think that you haven’t accomplished very much when you’ve been working really hard.

This weekly check in helps me be able to really look at everything from a different perspective & really be able to pinpoint what I’ve been able to accomplish. The journey is so much more enjoyable & encouraging when you are able to see & celebrate everything you’ve been able to accomplish.

I have proof & documentation of my progress

In doing a weekly check in with myself, I am able to keep track of where I am mentally, emotionally & physically. What I noticed in the past was that I was getting overwhelmed and ultimately feeling frustrated when I didn’t think all of my hard work was working.

In this exercise, I take pictures, measurements & do an evaluation of where I am mentally, emotionally & any stressors that are present. In keeping tabs on where I am in these categories, I have been able to keep up with my mental, emotional & physical state, thus helping me in being able to stay on track with my goals.

I can pinpoint the mind, body connection

In doing this, I can usually see a correlation between what I see in the pictures and my answers to the questions. If I notice I am a little more bloated than the week before, I have likely been stressed and might have been stress eating or something. 

Being able to pinpoint and understand where things are coming from and why they are happening, I am better able to come up with an action plan. It’s incredibly frustrating to feel like you don’t know what you should be doing in order to keep moving forward.

I’ve talked about this before, but I tend to get stressed out easily. The best thing for me to do is to try to prevent stress & overwhelm, because it’s really hard to get myself back together. So, in being able to keep tabs on everything going on, it helps me in being able to take necessary action.

I come up with a plan

In being able to pinpoint and understand where I am mentally, emotionally and physically, I am better able to make the necessary adjustments.

For example, if I find that I am feeling overwhelmed in my business, I need to spend time journaling about what’s on my mind.

Sometimes, the things that are bothering us are stuck in our subconscious and we need to bring them to the surface so we can deal with them. That’s what doing this check in with myself helps me do. It helps me to be able to make sure that everything is in line. If there’s something off, it keeps me cognizant of whatever is going on around me.

This weekly check in is something that I know a lot of people will say that they don’t have time for. It’s something that can be seen as a “I will do it if I have time, which I probably don’t so I’m going to make every excuse not to do it” kind of thing.

Trust me, I totally get being busy and making the choice to remove seemingly unnecessary tasks. However, I now see this exercise as a non-negotiable for me because it’s ultimately helped me be better able to show up in every area of life.

  • I’ve been able to stick to my goals.
  • I’ve been able to show up better in my business.
  • I’ve kept my stress & overwhelm under control so that I am more productive and can better serve my clients and women in my Facebook group.

So, these tasks that we tend to put off due to thinking that they are unimportant just might be detrimental to how you are showing up in your life right now. I just want to make sure that you are taking care of yourself here. I preach about The Importance of Self-Care all the time and I do so because I truly believe that it is essential in creating a foundation for your life.

You must take care of yourself in order to show up better in every aspect of your life. Saying that you don’t have time is simply just an excuse.

So, are you going to start making it a priority to show up for yourself? Are you going to make it a goal to make it a habit to check in with your mental, emotional & mental well-being?

I truly hope so!

xx

-Jess

My Morning Routine During Quarantine

I made a prediction that we would start feeling the mental & emotional effects of the disruption of our day-to-day lives within 2-3 weeks. I made this prediction knowing that the anger & frustration would soon dissipate and turn mental. As a mental health advocate, I always want to make sure that I am doing everything I can to take care of myself & provide as much guidance to others that I possibly can.

I noticed myself struggling during the first full week of April. Ever since I went through my own experience with mental health struggles and depression, I have been able to identify my warning signs that something just isn’t right. 

If you know me or have been following me for some time now, you know that I turned to fitness and going to the gym first thing in the morning. I used my morning workouts for many reasons, including maintaining my healthy habits & keeping my mental health on track. 

With being forced to stay home and out of my routine, I would be lying if I said that I didn’t struggle to adjust to this new normal. That’s definitely true for everyone, right? 

Well, here’s the thing. We can’t control the current unprecedented circumstances that we find ourselves in, but we CAN control how we respond. I know this can be extremely hard because the pain that this whole thing has caused can seem to be so severe that it overshadows all of the positives that can come from this and all that you CAN indeed control. 

For me, my mornings are sacred. How I spend my mornings are extremely important for determining how the rest of my day is going to go & how I show up. One thing that I’ve missed since working out in the morning is my slow mornings to really just take it easy and ease into the day. I have more information in my posts on How/ Why I Go To The Gym At 5AM & My Morning Routine As A Young Entrepreneur Working From Home.

What I started noticing

  • unhealthy choices
  • increased anxiety & stress levels
  • bloating all over my body
  • low energy/exhaustion (needing to lay down and take a nap almost everyday)
  • creative blocks 
  • lack of motivation

So, I wanted to share with you how I have adjusted my morning routine based on what I have learned over the years. I’ve focused on what I am still in control of and utilized the knowledge that I have about what I need. 

I hope you find this helpful in creating a routine for yourself, based on what it is that YOU need!

GET UP EARLY AS USUAL.

One thing that I noticed to be important for me is waking up early in the morning. It’s just something that is important for my mental health & stress. I don’t handle sleeping in very well, especially during the week because it makes me feel rushed. 

I understand that it sounds a bit crazy to some people, but for me, I noticed that getting up at the same time as I would to go to the gym has helped. Instead of working out, I take it easy and let myself ease into my morning. 

I very much rely on time to myself to maintain a healthy mental health and being able to create that time to allow myself to have that time to myself has been very important. 

However, what I have noticed is that I started getting more and more exhausted for reasons that I am not sure of. This could be due to the fact that emotions and stress levels are higher, therefore I am feeling more rundown than usual. So, I have learned to listen to my body and let myself sleep in a little bit if I need to do so a couple days during the week. Not just during this time, but all the time! Your body will tell you what it needs and it’s important to listen and not get frustrated. 

GET RIGHT INTO THE SHOWER.

For me, I don’t feel like my day can really start if I don’t jump in the shower. My new routine included going to the bathroom and getting right into the shower to wake up and get in the mindset to get my day started. 

DRINK 24oz OF WATER.

When I go to the gym in the morning, I usually drink at least 16oz of water before I go to the gym and drink another 24oz-32oz while I’m at the gym. I would rely on that to make sure that I am getting in my water. Starting the day with water is incredibly important and comes with many benefits. 

Now that I don’t have the gym to rely on, I started making it a goal to drink 24oz of water right when I get up. Before I start drinking coffee and eating breakfast. It helps for many reasons, but I also always feel dehydrated and lethargic when I wake up anyway, so getting in 24oz of cold water upon waking up really helps with waking up my body and making me feel more energized and I notice that I don’t feel as bloated, plus I don’t get headaches like I would if I neglected getting in the water.

MEDITATE & JOURNAL.

After I get showered and drink most of my water, I go into the living room and do a 5-10 minute guided meditation and journal.

MOVE MY BODY.

When I don’t go to the gym in the morning, I always make it a goal to get in 1000 steps. I understand this might sound a bit bizarre to some, but I started pacing around the apartment or lightly jogging in place to move my body and start getting in steps. This doesn’t take long but it always feels so good to start moving my body right away. Not to mention, it always wakes up my body even more. I am so used to the treadmill really waking me up in the morning and doing this releases those endorphins that I am used to.

GET MY COFFEE & WATCH THE NEWS.

By this time, I’ve already been awake for about an hour and I have really taken the time to prioritize myself and I am feeling awake and ready to take on the day. So, at this point I will grab my coffee and turn on the news. 

One thing that I do miss since I have started working out in the morning is just relaxing and taking it easy before sunrise. So, I am really taking the time to enjoy being able to do this. I love just sitting on the couch and sipping my coffee. If I am feeling like it, I will grab my laptop or planner and get some work done.

BREAKFAST AT 6AM.

I do this until my boyfriend wakes up at 6am. We still eat breakfast at this time because he still has to clock in for work at 7am. 

MAKE THE BED.

After breakfast, I will make the bed since my boyfriend is up. I am definitely one of those people who has to make the bed in order to be able to get my day started. It’s like being able to immediately check something off my to-do list and makes me feel like I am already starting to get things done. 

GO ON A WALK AT SUNRISE.

I’ve started going on walks when the weather is nice at sunrise. It’s just another layer that I have added to my routine that I have found really helpful. It allows me to get some light cardio and also get some fresh air. 

By this time I start getting ready to tackle my workday. My workday looks a little bit different than usual, but I just take it a day at a time. 

I don’t follow this routine exactly everyday, but I have found these elements to be helpful in making sure that I am doing what I can to manage my stress and anxiety. Over the years, I’ve been able to learn about what it is that I need to manage my stress & anxiety. Using that information, I’ve been able to learn about what I am in control of and be able to focus on what I can start implementing to make sure that I am doing what I can to get through this. 

I hope you found this to be at least a little bit helpful. I know that it sounds a bit crazy to some people, but this was developed based on what works for me. It’s always important to make sure that you are adjusting your routine based on what works best for you. Maybe you don’t need such a structured routine and you are doing well sleeping in as much as possible. 

That’s OK! Just make sure you are focusing on what you are in control of and doing what YOU need to do to get through this. ❤

Related posts:
>> Self Care & Activities During Quarantine
>> Tips for working from home
>> Staying on track while stuck at home during quarantine

xx
-Jess

My 10 Tips For Beating Bloat & Getting Back On Track

Have you ever come out of a weekend or a vacation after indulging in sweets, salty food, and even alcohol and feel gross? Or have just felt like you’ve been in a slump recently and need to get back on track? Yep, me too. Very often actually. 

Now, I’m not an expert (or trained) in digestive health, whatsoever, but over the years I have been able to learn a couple tips and tricks that have helped me when I am feeling bloated after indulging a little too much.

The tips that I’m sharing in this post are exactly what I did to lose the bloat around my body in just a couple of weeks.

Trust me, I know that I don’t necessarily think that I looked “bad“, but I knew that there were some areas that could use some adjustments in my lifestyle. You might also not be able to see a noticeable difference between the two pictures. But, I’ve actually been able to lose 6+ inches around my body in just 2 months. I even lost about 3 inches around my body in one week by implementing the tips I’m sharing in this post.

This post is absolutely perfect for you if you are like me & constantly find yourself going downhill after you indulge and can’t seem to get yourself back on track, for good. Trust me, we’ve all been there and it’s an incredibly frustrating path to be on. 

After years of trial & error and struggling to figure out what will help me, I’ve finally discovered some really helpful tips and secrets that have ultimately helped me stop the seemingly never ending cycle.

Let me let you in on some of those secrets that have helped me! 

Don’t Beat Yourself Up

I talk about this a lot, but only because I think it’s really important. I have a long track record of getting really mad at myself for having slip ups and indulging “too much”. 

But, let me ask you, has beating yourself up actually helped you get back on track? Or did it put you even further downhill?

For me, beating myself up always pushes me further away from my goal. Inner dialogue is so so SOOO important! Did I mention it’s REALLY important??? What you tell yourself becomes your reality. 

So, if you slip up over the weekend, if you eat too many sweet treats around the holidays, or if you just indulged because you just felt like it, give yourself some grace here. Life is about enjoying yourself and your time on earth. There’s nothing wrong with a little indulgence. 

Tell yourself that you deserved the indulgence and you are ready to get back to your goals! Trust me, nothing productive comes from beating yourself up.

In the pictures I shared above, I had spent the last couple months indulging in Halloween candy and Christmas cookies. Honestly, it made me happy in the moment and I thoroughly enjoyed everything that I indulged in. I let myself enjoy it & when it was all over, I was ready to get back on track.

The simple shift in my mindset and how I approached the situation has been the key to making sure I stay on track. The slip ups in the past have been due mainly to me beating myself up and getting mad for indulging and just enjoying life. Letting the past be in the past and continuing to move forward has been a major key to being able to stay consistent in this lifestyle.

Drink LOTS of water

I hired a wellness & fitness coach a couple years ago and I still remember to this day how much she preaches: DO NOT fall for the “cleanse tea” scam. There is no secret (& not to mention- expen$ive) cleanses. The companies that talk about how they have the secret cleanse to help you lose all this weight, is absolutely f a l s e .

Seriously, good to know!

The best cleanse there is? Our good ole pal H2O. Drinking lots of water is incredibly important as it is, but increasing your water intake when you are feeling bloated will help flush everything out! I try to get in around 100 oz- 1 gallon of water per day. Have you ever tracked how many ounces of water you are drinking per day? When I first started tracking this, I realized that I was only getting around 40 ounces of water per day.

Simply just increasing your water intake will show some major benefits- just be prepared to head to the bathroom A LOT. When I first started increasing my water intake, I was in the bathroom like every half an hour, but let me tell you, it is so worth it!

I now make sure that I drink 16oz-24oz of water right when I get up because when you think about it, your body is in deprivation for how many hours you were asleep. So, you need to make sure that you are getting in water right away!

Not only have I noticed a difference in reducing my bloating, but I have less headaches & more energy as a result.

Get to sippin’!

Get sweaty

OK- so I’m not saying spend 2 hours a day at the gym on the treadmill. But, getting yourself to the gym and increasing cardio really helps! I actually continued to go to the gym, but it’s very important to make sure that you are continuing to keep going, rather than making excuses to fall off.

This also goes back to what I mentioned about not beating yourself up- make sure you are doing this out of self-love and not self-hate. Put in your headphones, put on an upbeat song, work off anything that is bothering you & continue to remind yourself how much your love yourself & your body.

PLEASE do not do this out of self-hate! Don’t spend hours on the treadmill trying to punish yourself for making unhealthy decisions!

I talk more about my fitness journey in these posts:
How/ Why I Go To The Gym At 5AM
3 Tips for Early Morning Workouts
My Fitness Journey | Choosing Yourself First

Eat lots of fresh veggies

In general, adding fresh veggies to your diet is always a good practice. I’ve noticed that just by replacing a snack that I usually have with carrots & celery really helps when I’m feeling bloated. Instead of reaching for some trail mix or chips & salsa, I try to gather some veggies in a bowl & snack on that instead.

I also really like to cook with veggies! I try to add in some bell peppers, onion, spinach, even celery when I’m cooking. I’m not saying to only snack on fresh veggies, but it’s always good practice to add them into your day when you can! Some simple adjustments can go a long way.

Reduce amount of refined carbs

I’m not saying removed carbs from your diet- AT ALL. Carbohydrates are an essential macronutrient that we all need.

I just know that when I overindulged, it’s usually in spaghetti, pizza, ice cream, etc. So, I try to pack my diet with lots of lean meats & veggies, rather than those foods high in refined carbs.

Especially when I came out of the holidays feeling all bloated, I tried not to make pasta or pizza for dinner. Especially since I have a gluten intolerance, I wanted to make sure that I let my body reset and get back to normal.

I didn’t completely cut it out, but I was definitely cognizant about making sure that I gave my body a break from these refined carbs.

Reduce sugar

Suga, suga. I love sugar.

Sweets are definitely my downfall. If there’s candy around, especially Kit Kats, I can’t help myself. During Halloween, I always have a hard time staying away from allllll of the candy. 

Also, ice cream. I freaking LOVE ice cream. 

Of course, these foods are PACKED full of sugar. Once all of the candy and Christmas cookies were gone, I made it an effort to make sure that those sweets were not in my apartment. I admit, I love having those red & green M&Ms in a cute container on my kitchen counter around the holidays, but it’s so hard not to resist a handful whenever I walk by it.

So, once they were all gone, I made sure not to have candies in my apartment after the holidays. Simply just not having them around makes it so much easier because they are simply not around. I don’t even want to know how much sugar I had October-December, but not having those sweets around definitely helped in making sure that I am keeping my sugar intake under control.

Don’t try to go into a food deprivation

While it’s a good idea to eat lots of veggies, reduce carbs & sugar intake, don’t try to force yourself into a food deprivation. Trust me, it doesn’t work. I’ve tried. Many, many times before. 

“I’m only going to eat healthy food!”

Deprivation doesn’t work because your body needs that food. When you crave something, it’s your brain telling your body that it needs what that food has. So, when you deprive yourself of something, your brain will CRAVE that particular food and you are more likely to overindulge. Thus, making the frustrating cycle repeat.

I remember one time I tried to make myself eat only healthy food and after a couple days, I proceeded to down an entire bag of sun chips in one sitting. 

Don’t deprive yourself! It just simply doesn’t work.

Moderation is absolutely key here. I wanted to let you know that in the last couple weeks that I lost 6 inches, I was still eating a bowl of ice cream some nights. I’ve been making sure not to scoop half a gallon into a bowl, but a couple scoops has been good enough for me. In letting myself indulge in moderation, it has helped curb my cravings SIGNIFICANTLY. There was even one night when my boyfriend and I were craving Wendy’s frosties, so we went to Wendy’s and got a small frosty.

Deprivation is not the answer, moderation is.

Take a break from alcohol

Don’t get me wrong, ya girl loves her glass(es) of Pinot Grigio. But, reducing alcohol saves lots of unnecessary calories from your diet. Also, I really don’t like waking up the next day feeling hung over & gross. Plus, when you drink, you tend to snack in unhealthy food. It’s a double whammy.

But, not just binge drinking, but even just having a glass in the evening with dinner. I got in the habit of this, especially around the holidays when wine is everywhereeee.

Now, I try to limit myself to just drinking alcohol on the weekend and limiting myself to just a couple of glasses, or none at all. You have no idea how much better you feel when you don’t drink excessively. So, reducing alcohol intake also has so many incredible benefits.

Take a shot of apple cider vinegar

I’m going to be honest here, apple cider vinegar is absolutely disgusting. But, there are so many digestive benefits to it. I mix a tablespoon of apple cider vinegar with a little bit of water and lemon and take it like a shot. I call this my “health shot”.

I would test out what works best for you with apple cider vinegar. I tried to make it a daily habit to take a shot of apple cider vinegar, but it actually made my stomach really upset after doing it every day for a full week.

Maybe do a little research and see what your options are. I know some people mix it in their hot tea and other things.  But, this is definitely a good thing to try when you are trying to get yourself back on track.

Get right back into your routine

In the past, I’ve found myself so frustrated with myself for indulging, that I’ve found myself neglecting the gym & healthy habits altogether. When I think about this now, that mindset is just simply not productive. This goes back to my first tip- don’t beat yourself up. Like I’ve mentioned many times, truly believe that it all starts with your mindset.

I’ve had people ask me how I’ve been able to stick with my fitness goals for so long & this is exactly it. I started just getting right back into my routine without even thinking about it. I don’t beat myself up anymore. I let myself indulge when I want to, wake up the next morning and get right back into it. The simple adjustment in how I perceive the situation has completely shifted how I’ve been able to stick with my goals.

Have I fallen off a couple time? Yes! Of course, I’m human. We’re all human here. I technically “fell off” around the holidays, but I was able to get myself back on track so easily because of this mindset.

We spend so much time getting mad at ourselves for living life & indulging that we don’t even realize that we can simply just let it be and move on. We are all human. We NEED those times to just live our lives and enjoy the simple pleasures. 

You are in control of letting bad habits become bad habits. You ate too many slices of pizza and a bowl of ice cream? Fine. Let it be. You still planned on getting to the gym tomorrow, so get up and go like usual. 

Can you tell that I’m really big into mindset? I am because I truly believe that everything, I mean everything starts with our mindset. Our perception & what we tell ourselves has a direct impact on how we feel and how we show up for ourselves.

It all starts with doing things out of self-love. I have never been able to stick to a plan when I’m doing it out of self-hate.

We must love ourselves & love our bodies! ❤

xx

Breaking Free From Society & Creating A Life You Love

As someone who studied psychology in college and has always been fascinated by human behavior, I understand the importance of “fitting in” and being accepted. It’s just a human necessity. 

This can mean social acceptance, which is important for psychological and mental health. But, what about not fitting into generalized education and expectations? 

We are taught in our education system the information that we must be able to master to move onto the next level. But, what if your strengths and potential aren’t highlighted in those generalized areas? Are you just doomed to failure?

This is exactly what happened to me and what I know a lot of people struggle with. You can read more about this experience in My journey from a struggling high school student to starting my own business.

My strengths and potential were not highlighted in generalized education and expectations. I struggled in high school. When I say struggled, I mean STRUGGLED. I failed about 90% of the tests I took. I quite literally passed high school with test corrections and test retakes.

I couldn’t figure out what was wrong with me. I did everything that I was told I needed to do to master and understand the material. I studied hard. I tried all the techniques. I went into school early to get help and stayed after school. I did all the things and still couldn’t get it figured out.

I remember wanting to be successful so bad. But, there were times when I just thought that I wasn’t smart enough and didn’t have what it took to reach a level of success that I had always envisioned for myself. At that time, I wanted to get my doctorate in psychology. It was always a goal in the back of my mind. But, how could I possibly expect to get my doctorate when I was BARELY passing high school?

There were so many times when I was so frustrated because I just wanted to be smart like everyone else. I didn’t want to feel “dumb” and incapable. 

What I didn’t realize at the time, is that I was completely capable of success, it just looks a little bit different than the majority of people. I have unique talents and expertise that makes me so special and just as capable of success. I just had to work a little harder and go through some extra hoops to figure it out.

Our system teaches us that everything is going to be accomplished in a straight, linear line. There’s no telling what will happen if/when it doesn’t work out that way. So, when your life doesn’t progress like we thought it would, we immediately think that something is wrong.

Something is wrong with me. 

You go to school, get a degree, get a job, work until retirement. You’ll make enough money to get by, but never enough to be truly satisfied. That’s just life, right? That’s just the way it is.

But, what if there’s something more? I believe there is. You can read more about my opinion on this in my post about Why I’m Proud of Millennials and Proud To Be One.

I envision a fantasy life that I believe is completely attainable. 

I want to create something for myself, a life that I truly love living. I want to wake up every single morning, excited for the day ahead of me. I want my work to energize me, maybe even feel like I’m not really doing “work”. But, I want to make a difference and an impact.

You can sit at a desk for 9 hours a day, working “hard”, but not feeling fulfilled and like you’re truly making a difference in the world.

I believe in a world that isn’t micromanaged. 

A world that allows you to be who you are and make the impact that you are meant to make. Whatever that looks like for each person. Whether that means with a degree or no degree. We were all put on this earth for a reason and I believe that it is possible to live out that dream.

We’re taught that dreams are meant to be just that… Dreams. You must go to work and work until you are told that you can be done. If you’re already done with your work, scroll on your phone and pretend to be working until it’s time to go. 

If you hate what you do and dread Mondays, why not go on a journey to finding something that truly energizes you? 

For me, I’ve always wanted to make a difference in people’s lives. I knew that was my calling from a young age. It fires me up and makes me feel amazing. But, my career path has not been able to fulfill this for me. Even the business I’ve created at times. Sometimes, you have to be able to understand when and where it’s time to make a change. 

At the end of the day, you are in control of your life. Only you are fully in control of your life. 

It’s h a r d and frustrating to figure out what in the world you are supposed to be doing on earth. You feel like there’s only so many times you can fail and get back up without getting completely discouraged. Fearing that you just might make a complete fool of yourself. 

We’ve all been there and we don’t like it. But, at some point, it’s time to put pen to paper and really dig into who you are as a person. What you are meant to be doing on this earth. Sometimes, your journey doesn’t look like what others look like and that is completely fine!

So… how do you create a life that you truly love? Here are some things to think about.

What are some of your unique talents?

Like, really unique. We all have unique talents that makes us who we are and makes us so special. We all have something special & incredible to offer the world. 

There was one part of You Are A Badass: How To Stop Doubting Your Greatness And Start Living An Awesome Life by Jen Sincero that really sticks out to me and I think is incredibly important.

She’s talking about going after your dreams, because someone out there needs what you have to offer. Sometimes our dreams seem so out of reach that we don’t really think about even trying to take action on them. I talk about this more in-depth in my post on A lot can happen in just ONE YEAR!.

What is something really energizes you?

This question seems really simple & easy, but it can be a tricky question. I know that it was for me when I was trying to figure out what it is that I really wanted to do. I just remembered how happy I felt when I was helping others work through any problems going on in their lives. 

I went through a whole process and you can read more about it in BUSINESS PLAN FOR 2020 / CHANGES TO BUSINESS. If you are having a hard time coming up with ideas, you can always reach out to friends/family & get an idea of what you are really good at!

What are you really passionate about?

This can be anything! Think hard about this because I think it’s really important to be able to incorporate the things that you are truly passionate about in your everyday life. This doesn’t necessarily have to be in terms of your career, but just any hobby or anything that you really love!

What does your dream life look like?

We all have a dream life that we think about, but don’t always think it’s attainable so we don’t even think about trying to act upon them. Think reallll hard about what this life looks like for you!

How attainable is your dream life?

Like I already mentioned, we often think that our “dream life” isn’t really attainable, so we don’t even try to take any action to reach that dream life status. I used to think the exact same way until I started realizing that I am completely in control of the trajectory of my life.

I bet that your dream life isn’t as out of reach as you would think. It’s up to you if you are willing to put in the work, including the mindset work to reach those goals. 

What actionable steps can you take to start living your ideal life?

What can you start doing TODAY to start making those dreams a reality? Are you going to start buying books and educate yourself more? Are you going to make it a goal to start putting yourself out in the world, jump out of your comfort zone so you can start growing & learning? Hire somebody to help you figure out how you can make those dreams a reality?

Trust me, there are probably simple steps that you can be taking TODAY to start living your dream life & start creating a life you love. 

What would you be doing if the generalization of society wasn’t holding you back?

Yes, throw away whatever society says you should be doing! Screw that. This is your life and you are in complete control of the outcomes of your life. 

Take away everything society says you should be doing and really think about what you would be doing with your life if society didn’t tell you what your life should look like!

Forget about society. Forget about generalization. This is all about YOU and what YOU want to get out of life! ❤

At the end of the day, I think that it is really important to really think about what it is that we really love to do and are passionate about. I think that the pressure that comes with the generalization of society can hold us back and make us feel like we can’t live a life that we truly love and makes us happy.

Life doesn’t always progress the way we are taught and doesn’t always look the same as everyone around us. The important thing to remember is to be true to yourself and not let the potential judgements & criticisms hold you back from living your life to the fullest. I believe it is possible, many people have done it before and many people are going to continue doing it.

The time is now to REALLY live your life! ❤

xx

The Circle of Life / Navigating the loss of loved ones & tragic events

I started writing this post MONTHS ago when I was on my way to visit my grandmother. I started writing it in the car when emotions were high. Life happened and I never got back to finishing this post. I remember planning on publishing it shortly after she passed, but never got around to it because things got busy.

But, recent events going on in the world have me back to feeling high into emotion.

We are constantly going through the motions of life,  focused on whatever is going on in our lives, until something happens that forces us to take a step back and really reflect.

I have been all focused on my business this past month. I’ve been really motivated and, but with that I’ve been neglecting my own self-care that I preach about. I was aware this was happening, but I told myself that it was OK because I wanted to take advantage of this motivation that I was feeling. 

I was getting so much done and it was incredibly liberating to feel that energy again because I had been lacking it for months. There’s so much that I want to do and I was finally feeling the motivation and the drive to actually put that desire to ACTION. 

Then, the series of tragedies to start 2020 began. My heart always hurts a little bit when tragedies happen. Especially ones that are so widespread and effect so many people. From the fires in Australia, a series of fatal house fires here in my home town, senseless crimes, reading news on my feed of people I know losing loved ones. 

Then, we received the news about Kobe Bryant and for some reason, that news hit me like a ton of bricks and all of my emotions started pouring to me. The more we learned about the accident, the more heartbreaking the whole story became.

I think Lizzo said it best her grammy speech,“This week I was lost in my problems, then in an instant all of that can go away and your priorities really shift.”

We all take life for granted at times. We are all so blessed to be here and often don’t take the time to really appreciate that. Tomorrow isn’t guaranteed, but things happen, tragic things happen. Not only to us, but to our loved ones. 

I did want to remind everyone that it’s okay to be sad and angry and frustrated when things happen, because they will. It’s hard to understand & comprehend why bad things happen to good people & it’s impossible to justify why they happen.

Whatever you do, don’t suppress your feelings & emotions. Cry if you need to, yell if you need to, curse into your pillow. Do what ever you need to do to release those emotions from your system, into the universe.

Give yourself permission to be sad during tragic times & don’t forget to take care of yourself.

The series of tragic events have forced me to stop and think for a moment. Think about things that are really important to me that I’ve been neglecting because I have been so focused on my work I’ve been working SO HARD and I have been able to accomplish some really amazing work over the last couple weeks of this new year. I’ve put my own self-care on the back burner, and a lot of other things that are really important to me. But, these events have forced me to come back to this blog post that I had started 4-5 months ago. It brought me back to losing my grandmother this past fall and how grateful I have been to have all of my grandparents in my life for so long. 

I have been so lucky to have had ALL of my grandparents for 23 years. All four of them. It was something that I didn’t realize how lucky I was and how rare that is. Not only did I have 2 amazing parents, but I also had 4 amazing grandparents.

It was always a blessing to know that my parents would show their support for my brother and I by coming to our sports games and any other activities we were involved in. We always knew that we would look up in the stands and see them cheering us on. Then at least once a year, we would look up in our stands and see both sets of grandparents up in the stands with them.

We would receive phone calls on our birthdays, birthday cards, Christmas cards, lots of family gatherings. I mean, I had the best childhood and was so incredibly blessed that I had that in my life for 23 years.

In April 2016, my mom’s mom was put on hospice and passed away a short time later. It was the first time when I really had to experience intense grief. It was when I saw my own mom struggling to deal with the loss of her mother and have to take care of her father because he slowly started to decline after her passing.

He started to decline. My mother and her siblings had to take turns taking care of him until it was his time to be called Home. This is the Circle of Life.

Just 2 short months later, my mom’s father passed away. The grief was almost overwhelming. It was hard seeing my own mother so upset and having to deal with the intense grief that comes with losing both parents in such a short amount of time.

I didn’t deal with this loss well. At all. My mental health struggled and I was just extremely sad to see such an important part of my life disappear. But, in the process I gained some incredible guardian angels.

It then hit me that I will soon have to go through the same thing with my dad’s parents, especially since they are about 10 years older than my mom’s parents.

Well, September 2019 was that time. Time for us to prepare to say goodbye to my dad’s mom. As of right now, while I’m writing this, it’s Saturday September 14, 2019. My boyfriend and I are on our way to visit my grandmother. She was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer the weekend prior and was put on hospice. At this moment, she doesn’t have that much time. We are on our way to say our goodbyes.

It’s heartbreaking. It’s heartbreaking to see my grandparents go through this time in their lives and to ultimately leave earth. All the memories are just memories.

It’s hard to see my parents have to struggle to help their parents make the transition to be called Home. To see them have to make hard decisions.

This visit ended up not being the last time I saw her. I visited her again on October 22 with my mom and she passed away on October 25. At the end of the day, I miss all of my grandparents. I miss them dearly & wish that I could bring them back & heal the heartbreak my parents feel.

But, this is the Circle of Life. They did their part on earth. They lived their lives, but unfortunately all good things must come to an end. This is the hard part that comes with life, having to say goodbye to the ones that we love. To turn those happy fun moments into distant memories.

To carry their legacy with us. To keep their memory alive.

They lived their life, it’s time for me to live mine. 

My 8 Step Process to Overcoming Depression

*Before I start, I want to emphasize the fact the depression is very serious. While I have a degree in psychology, I am NOT a trained professional. If you feel like you need professional help, please seek professional help immediately! These tips are what helped me when I was experiencing depression. Just know that you are not alone, we are in this together! ❤ 

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255  

Depression is an unexplainable thing. It’s extremely serious and a lot of people experience depression to a certain extent at some time in their lives. It can come at any time and affect people in different ways. While depression can be a very isolating feeling, I want everyone to know that you are very much not alone. It can be very difficult to understand that while you are going through feeling of depression, but I want anyone reading this to know that you don’t have to go through this alone. 

Depression hit me hard and I was confused why I was feeling the way I was feeling because I truly have an amazing life. I was raised by the most amazing parents who gave me everything that I could have ever needed in my life growing up. I was always loved and truly had everything I needed to be happy. I have always been a naturally happy, cheerful, positive person. I have always loved that about myself and always wanted to spread as much happiness as possible. Which is why I wanted to pursue a career in psychology.

So, when I was feeling like I was slipping into depression, I honestly felt guilty and confused. 

On paper, I had everything that I could have ever needed in my life. I had every reason to be happy. I knew there were so many people in the world dealing with much harder situations, so I truly felt guilty. I felt like I didn’t need to feel the way that I did. What I didn’t understand at the time is that anyone can experience depression. It doesn’t matter how blessed you feel like you are. 

Depression isn’t just a “bad day” where you just “get over it” and move on. It’s not an emotion. Depression is serious and needs to be taken seriously. Most of the time, it takes some kind of therapy to dive deep into cognitive processes and treat the source as deemed necessary by a professional. 

It doesn’t mean something is wrong with you or you did anything wrong. However, I completely understand and resonate with people who tell themselves this on a daily basis. I know how serious depression is and how damaging it can be. While I experienced mild depression, I didn’t need to be put on an antidepressant, however some people do need to be.

There were some things that helped me & I want to take the time to write out the process I used to climb out of the depression. I hope that anyone reading this finds some hope that they will be able to make it through this and be able to experience at least some relief. ❤

1.I WENT TO THERAPY.

The absolute number one thing I want to mention first is I sought out professional help. I tried to do it on my own, but I eventually realized that it just wasn’t possible. So, I found a counselor in my network and I started going to therapy. To be honest, I never thought I would be someone who went to therapy. I always saw myself as someone being the therapist. I thought that if I went to therapy, that would mean that I didn’t have what it took to be a therapist, because I should be able to help myself if I’m going to help others. If that’s you at all, just know that’s absolutely not true! 

I truly give credit to therapy for really jump starting my healing process. If I didn’t have the therapy, I don’t think I would have been able to get through it, to be honest. It is so incredibly helpful to have a safe space to talk about everything going on, to cry if you need to and to have someone there to help you through it all. Every time I went, I would leave feeling 10 pounds lighter than I did when I walked in. Trust me when I say that the first step is to seek professional help. Trying to get through it on your own is almost impossible. It’s OK to allow yourself to get help if you need it! 

2. I STARTED TAKING SELF-CARE SERIOUSLY.

In addition to counseling, there’s definitely some inner work that needs to happen between sessions. One 1-hr session biweekly isn’t going to deliver results, because there’s work that you need to do on your own to. I remember things like struggling to sleep at night became nightly occurrence. I was sleeping an average of 3-4 hours per night and I was always exhausted.

In my first session with my therapist, she gave me several things to do to start taking care of myself better. Some things she told me to work on were: journaling, meditation, getting outside, exercising. The more I started started really focusing on myself and my self-care, the more I started noticing things falling into place. It was a hard journey, but definitely worth it in the end. Make sure you are really prioritizing your self-care! If you want some self-care ideas, make sure you check out my post on The Importance of Self-Care. ❤

3. I STARTED JOURNALING REGULARLY.

Journaled, and journaled some more! I know I’ve talked about this a lot, but I give a lot of credit to journaling for my progress. There’s just so many benefits that can come from journaling if you do it regularly. It can be a little weird to get started because you might not know what to talk about, but I promise if you keep at it, it will become a habit and you will start uncovering a lot going on in your subconscious! I wrote a blog post all about the transformative experience I’ve had with journaling and you can read all about it in The Power of Journaling.

4. I DOWNLOADED THE SANVELLO APP (PREVIOUSLY PACIFICA).

I’m actually surprised that I’ve never heard anyone other than my therapist talk about this app. I used this app religiously for 1-2 years while I was healing. I love it because there are guided meditations, journal prompts, you can rate how your day is going and so many other things. There is a free version, but you do have to pay to upgrade to use all of its features. I would pay for a month or 2 at a time while I felt like I needed extra help. You can easily downgrade the update the settings in the iTunes app.

I would highly recommend this app if you feel like you need some extra help! 

5. MADE IT A GOAL TO GET OUTSIDE everyday.

When I was feeling depressed, I noticed that all I wanted to do was lay in my dark room and watch TV. That’s literally ALL that I wanted to do. When I got home from work, I would change into the comfiest clothes I owned, turned off the lights and climbed into bed. That’s where I stayed until I had to get up the next morning for work. It could have been the most beautiful day outside & all I wanted to do was lay in bed in my dark room. So, I started making it a goal to get outside for at least 30 minutes a day. At least just sit outside on the patio, or even better, go for a walk. I just knew that I needed to get outside and get some fresh air. 

What started as just sitting outside for a half hour, turned into actually getting some exercise. I started going on walks every morning when I got up. I would go for walks during the sunrise, take deep breaths and really take in the beauty of nature. I also started walking around during my lunch breaks at work. Just to get outside, walk around and debrief. Nature is truly powerful!

6. I STARTED EXERCISING AGAIN.

I have always been into exercising. I grew up an athlete and always enjoyed being in the gym. In a Behavioral Psychology class I took in college, I remember the professor asking us to write down one thing that would be a sign something was wrong if we stopped doing it. Something we are truly passionate about. For me, it was working out. So, when I found that I hadn’t gone to the gym in 2-3 months, I knew that I needed to slowly get back into it. Even if it just meant going on a walk in the evening. Just starting slow. Starting somewhere. 

So, I started making it a goal to get to the gym a couple times a week after work. I slowly started making working out a priority again and started noticing myself feeling better about myself. You can read more about this in My Fitness Journey | Choosing Yourself First.

7. I started eating healthier.

Here’s the thing, I actually lost about 10 pounds while going through this. But, losing weight DOES NOT ALWAYS EQUAL HAPPINESS. Especially in this example because I was not making healthy choices. I wasn’t eating a lot and when I was, I was eating things like cliff bars for dinner. When I did eat, it wasn’t always the best food choices. Honestly, when you start fueling your body with nutritious foods, you start feeling so much better overall. Like everything, this takes a lot of time and patience.

I actually hired an online health coach that made a plan for me because I knew that I needed some help. While I completely understand that this isn’t always financially reasonable for some people, there are so many resources online to refer to in making some changes to diet. There are so many ways to make small changes throughout the day to keep damaging chemicals out of the body. 

There’s just so much benefit to fueling your body with healthy, nutritious foods. Other than the known benefits to you physically, it can help with your mental health as well. Just simply changing my diet helped me start to feel better!

8. I started hanging out with friends.

I remember during this time, I wasn’t really motivated to go out and hang out with friends. I found myself wanting to just stay home and watch TV all day. While it was lonely, that’s what I preferred.

But, I noticed that when I did spend time outside of the house and interacting with my friends, that I actually started feeling better. So, I made it a goal to start making plans with my friends.

Even though you might feel exhausted and just want to lay around all day by yourself, just getting yourself out can make you start feeling better!

RECAP

At the end of the day, it’s taken about 2-3 years of working on myself to get to where I am today. There is no magic solution to feeling better and loving yourself again, or maybe for the first time. You’re not going to wake up one day feeling amazing. There’s not going to be a magic feeling that you are ready to conquer the world. 

However, starting with small goals will turn into HUGE accomplishments. The process will look different for everyone. But, I know there are a couple universal things that will help most people. Those things being:

  • Getting professional help
  • Journaling
  • Getting outside
  • Exercising
  • Fueling the body with healthy, unprocessed food
  • Getting yourself out of the house and spending time with friends

One other thing I recommend doing is tracking progress. For me, this is done by writing in my journal. I keep all of my journals and sometimes refer back to them. I find myself looking back at the same day a year or two prior, just to see all of the progress I’ve made over the years. Just when you feel like you haven’t made any progress, you will realize how far you have truly come.

You got this! Don’t be afraid to reach out for help if you need it! ❤

xx

Getting Over Extreme Burnout

If you’ve ever experienced extreme burnout, you know just how frustrating it can be. It’s something that happens to just about everyone at some point and it can be really difficult to get over it. 

Over the last year of building my business, I had to go through a really important learning experience about building a business. The most prevalent thing that I had to figure out was how to schedule my time to best fit my schedule and how I work best.  [You can read more about this in my post about 2019 Reflection + What I Learned In My First Year In Business.]

When you have a job, there’s already a process in place and you just have to learn it and adjustments are made when necessary. When you are building a business, you have to figure all of that out on your own. Especially if you are building your own business and just starting out, it’s most likely just YOU. A one woman/man show. Which is a very wonderful thing because you get to be in complete control of the business and build it exactly how you want. 

But, it also means that you are to figure everything out by yourself. Figure out how to do everything, when to do everything. The best process that makes the most sense and works FOR you, in your favor. 

What I learned is that you have no idea what you don’t know. You have to go through a learning/trial & error time period before the puzzle pieces start coming together. After the first year of my business, I definitely understand how a lot of people decide to stop pursuing their business because it can be incredibly mentally draining. You don’t know what you’re doing. You keep standing up, just to get knocked back down again. You question whether you have what it takes. You take on the wrong clients. Money isn’t flowing in like you wanted it to. You start feeling discouraged and maybe a bit burnt out.

You feel like you’re constantly shouting into the abyss, working way more than you have before and not getting very far. After you try so hard for so long with no system or understanding of what to do, it gets tiring, frustrating & overwhelming.

I’m learning that starting a business is a mental test.

It’s extremely hard and exhausting at first, but if you keep standing up, the pieces start falling into place. For me, I ended up falling into a really extreme burnout. I started despising my work. I had a hard time just getting myself to figure out what I needed to do when I sat at my desk in the morning. I was constantly exhausted and felt like I just needed to lay around all day. 

It’s confusing and it’s hard. I’ve had to experience so many mental breakdowns. Moments of frustration because I just wanted to figure this out so I can finally get my career going. There were so many times when I just sat there and thought that maybe I didn’t have what it took to run a business and be successful like I thought I was capable of. 

After dealing with what I describe as an extreme level of burnout for about 6 months, I can finally say that I have finally found myself climbing out of the dark whole that I accidentally worked myself into. It took lots of hard work. Lots of trusting the process. Lots of making myself stand back up even though I just wanted to stay down at times because it was easier… and less disappointing. 

I know lots of people deal with burnout at some point and I know just how frustrating and exhausting it can be. I know my example I just talked about was about building a business, but burnout can happen to anyone at any time. No matter what situation you are getting burnt out from, all you want to do is feel excited and energized about what you are doing, but all you feel is exhausted and don’t feel like doing a thing. You want to get it figured out, but can’t seem to figure out how.

I wanted to share my tips about how I dealt with major burnout and how I managed to keep myself going, even though I really wanted to throw in the towel at times.

give yourself A BREAK

My number one tip is absolutely, without a doubt, TAKE A BREAK. When I say take a break, I mean give yourself a real break. I spent months trying to just lay down and give my body a rest, but I wasn’t giving my mind a rest. Meaning, I while I was laying there, I was still thinking about everything I still needed to do & trying to come up with a plan to get those things done. I would find myself scrolling on Pinterest trying to find helpful advice & get the inspiration I was so desperately looking for. 

I was doing this pretty much everyday for several months, everyday getting more and more frustrated because I wasn’t getting anywhere. I was feeling an active resistance in my mind, just couldn’t focus on ANYTHING. Which was even more frustrating because I felt like I had so much to do and I was so deep in a mental funk that I couldn’t even figure out how to be productive. 

It wasn’t until my business coach told me to take 3 FULL DAYS rest to do nothing. Clear my plate for 3 FULL DAYS and let myself [especially my mind] rest. The thought of taking 3 full days can be a really daunting thought at first. I thought there was no way I can take off 3 days because I have SO MUCH to do! I take about this more in 5 Steps For Getting Back On Track & Shifting Your Mindset!

But, it was either take the break, or let myself struggle with burnout & being productive. So, I took the break. I had to tell myself that this is what I needed to reset because what I had been doing thus far just wasn’t working. Sometimes, you just need to allow yourself to surrender and trust that this will work. I had to convince myself that what I was currently doing obviously wasn’t working & I HAD to try something different.

It did work. I came out of the 3 day break just feeling so much lighter and calm. My energy started coming back and I could just feel the difference. I am so happy I decided to trust that it would work because I would still be in that mental funk if I didn’t.

Take the break, friends. Like, a real break. It can be the best thing you do for yourself [& your business if applicable!]. 

Are you trying to do too much?

The answer is probably: YES! Holy moly, I was trying to do too much at once, it’s no wonder I started feeling burnt out when I looked back at everything I was trying to do. It’s really important that you take a step back and really think about all that you are doing and trying to do and if it’s really worth your time & effort at the moment.

However, I’m glad that I was trying to do a little bit of everything because I was able to figure out where I really wanted to focus most of my time. Everyone always tells you not to try to do too much at a time, which I agree because you simply can’t. But, if you find yourself getting overwhelmed, make sure you take a step back and really figure out what is worth your time at the moment and what can take a back burner.

Being able to identify the things that overwhelm you the most will be helpful in figuring out what you can hold off on at the moment. It’s OK to not do everything at once! This was also where I found it helpful to hire a business coach, because she was able to help me identify where I should be focusing my time and would give me the OK to hold off on some other things.

When you give yourself permission to let go of some things, you are letting your mind focus on ONLY the things that are really important at the moment. Trying to do too much is just exhausting.

JOURNAL & journal some more!

Am I sounding like a broken record yet? If you’ve read any of my other posts, you know that I’m a HUGE fan of journaling! I’ve mentioned journaling so many times in my most recent posts and you’re probably like, “OK Jess, we get it! You think journaling is great.”

If you’re new here, I invite you to read all about my transformative experiences with journaling in my posts about The Importance of Self-Care & The Power of Journaling.

I’m just saying… Maybe if I keep talking about it, you’ll start believing me! I just think that journaling about what’s going on can really help with getting everything that is bothering you out of your subconscious and onto paper can be incredibly powerful. This is one of my favorite things to do to start my work day because it helps me get some kind of clarity. It helps me understand what is going on in my mind and what I am struggling with that particular day. It also helps track progress and notice patterns. 

TALK ABOUT IT

In addition to writing about what’s going on, I also find that talking to someone helps as well. This doesn’t have to be in a therapy session, it can be a friend or anyone who you trust with what is going on at the moment. I’ve noticed that there’s certain people that are easier to talk to about certain things. But, just talking to someone about what’s going on can make a HUGE difference. 

Not to mention, they can help you see more clearly. Some things that might be foggy to you, might help getting some outside perspective. There are just some things that are helpful to seek help from and this is definitely one of those things. 

move your body/EXERCISE

I think everyone can agree that you feel so much better after getting in a good, sweaty workout. Even though you feel like just sitting on the couch all day doing nothing, just getting up and getting your sweat on can help turn your mood around. 

I have been going to the gym first thing in the morning on weekdays for a year and a half now and it has been a game changer for me! You can check out my blog post on How/Why I Go To The Gym At 5AM & My Fitness Journey | Choosing Yourself First. Going to the gym early has ultimately helped my mental health, helped me stay on track with my workouts and has become my non-negotiable. Some of my best workouts have happened when I felt like I didn’t want to workout.

However, I do agree with giving your body a physical rest if that’s what you feel like you need. As long as you don’t continue to stay there. Give yourself a rest from the gym and get right back into it. I personally did this a couple times and I think this is also a good idea if you feel that’s what you need. Definitely listen to your body!

Seek inspiration, where ever it may be

For me, I get inspired by reading into and watching other women do what I want to be doing. I love to watch YouTube videos and even insta-creep. There’s something about seeing others killin it that gives me inspiration to keep going.

HOWEVER….

Try not to get too consumed by social media! There is such thing as too much of a good thing. If you find yourself going down a rabbit hole and not getting much benefit, it might be a good idea to turn it off.

This might not work for everyone! But, this is something that works for me. Maybe you find inspiration in other ways?? If you do, maybe try exploring that and see if it helps you at all!

Read a good book

I have also been talking about reading a lot lately. I’ve been talking about it a lot, because it really has helped me a lot. I’m not usually one to enjoy reading, but I have found reading to be very helpful when I was going through burnout.

I remember feeling desperate to find answers. I actually craved reading, which was odd for me, because I usually don’t like reading. But, I ordered some books and I started feeling myself get motivated.

I would give myself time to myself, away from social media, away from work to just read for 30 minutes to an hour. I was hooked and I started feeling better. But, you have to be consistent with it.

I mention about 5 books in my post A lot can happen in just ONE year & My Favorites, but here are my 3 favorites right now that I can’t stop talking about!

You Are A Badass: How to Stop Doubting Your Greatness and Start Living an Awesome Life by Jen Sincero
You Are a Badass at Making Money: Master the Mindset of Wealth by Jen Sincero
Everything Is Figureoutable by Marie Forleo

I hope you found these tips helpful! Trust me when I say I understand how frustrating burnout can be. I was struggling with burnout for what felt like 6 months and I just couldn’t seem to pull myself together.

For me, giving myself a break and taking a step back from everything is what really helped bring myself back together. When I’m in a constant state of chaos and overwhelm, it’s hard to do just about anything & I think that’s true for a lot of people.

Just know that you are not the only one going through this and you are going to come out on the other side stronger and more knowledgabale than you were before! These times can be seen as a great learning experience and opportunity for growth. Coming out, you will have a better understanding of yourself and know more about what to do and not to do in the future!

xx

5 Steps For Getting Back On Track & Shifting Your Mindset

We’ve heard it all before, but I think that it’s something extremely important: progress is never in a straight line. We all want it to be, though. This is true and relevant in just about every aspect of life. We get in a good system, start losing weight, get our social lives together, whatever it may be, then something happens to throw us off track. 

It happens to all of us and it happens in just about every situation in life pretty much. It’s frustrating because you just want to keep moving forward. Things were going so well and you just want to keep going forward. Moving backwards, in any capacity and in any way is frustrating. It feels like you’re taking 2 steps forward and 1 step backwards.

I used to get really hard on myself when this happened. I would be in a good system, a good rhythm, my healthy habits were on point. Then, something would happen to get everything all messed up. I would get frustrated and mad at myself for letting myself get to that point. I would be mad for not being able to handle it and ultimately “letting myself go”. Then, this negative self-talk would spiral into more negative self-talk and I would begin going down a tunnel of neglecting my healthy habits and mental health more and more. 

It seems dramatic, but it’s very true and I know it’s prominent for a lot of people. We continue to let ourselves spiral out of control until we get tired of it and decide we want to make a change, then the cycle repeats. 

I felt inclined to write this post because I recently experienced this and I wanted to take the time to explain how I dealt with the stress. Over the years, I have learned a lot about how to handle these times in our lives and I think that what I have to say is important! It’s going to happen & it’s going to happen a lot, unfortunately. Whether we want to admit it or not, it’s inevitable.

I’ve learned that during these times when it feels like I’m “taking a step back”, it might actually be a good thing. I’ve learned that this might mean that I’m entering an important time for growth and a breakthrough is about to happen. It’s uncomfortable in the moment, but it’s necessary to take the next step forward. 

Life kind of makes you stop, so you can keep moving forward. Now, this might sound counter-intuitive, but stay with me here!

I’ve learned to listen to the universe. To pay attention to these times when I feel like I’m falling off track because, sometimes, it doesn’t really mean that I’m falling “off track”. It’s the universe telling me that I need to slow down. 

To be honest, life would be quite boring if things turned out exactly how we wanted all the time. If things worked out perfectly the first time and things continued in a straight line, there would be no growth, no learning experiences, no breakthroughs to celebrate. Times of reflection wouldn’t result in celebrating all of the hard work that was done and all the growth that happened. It sounds nice on paper, that everything will work out perfectly and all will end exactly how we expect. 

However, these times are frustrating. It’s extremely hard not to just want to throw in the towel and stay frustrated. But, I encourage you to keep an open mind here because shifting your perception can result in a life changing breakthrough.

Here are some important things to remember during these times:

Don’t be hard on yourself

The most important thing to remember is that you must not get hard on yourself during these times. Beating yourself up for “falling off track” will get you nowhere except keep you going even further downhill. 

I’ve noticed this to be especially prevalent in my early to mid-twenties and I think it’s pretty common around this age for most people. It’s the time in our lives when we are set free to really figure out who we are and what we are supposed to be doing with our lives. Every time we think we are getting closer to getting it figured out, something happens to throw us off track a little bit. 

When this started happening to me, I was thinking that I was the only one going through this. I just assumed that everyone else my age was getting things all figured out and they were happily progressing without any problems. When you think you’re the only one going through something, it’s very discouraging. 

Trust me, I know this very well. I spent about 3 years trying to find a job, getting another degree, revising my resume, countless applications & interviews and ended up getting fired from the job I finally got after just 5 weeks. Talk about discouraging! While it was frustrating and discouraging, I’ve come to realize that Getting Fired Was The Best Thing To Happen To Me!

The most important piece of advice that I received in terms of getting through this was to not beat myself up. If you can shift your perception on the situation to the best of your ability, you can see this in a whole new light.

Give yourself some grace here! If you want some extra tips, make sure you check out my blog on The Importance of Self-Care!

TAKE A BREAK

Seriously, take a break. Sometimes these times are meant to tell you that you need to slow down and give your mind & body some TLC. Make sure you listen to your body and rest if/when you need it.

For my most recent experience with falling off track, what helped the most was giving myself 3 full days off, away from work, completely focusing on myself. When I say a break, I mean a REAL break. I was trying to give myself breaks, but I was still constantly thinking about alllll the things I had to be doing or SHOULD be doing, scrolling on Pinterest trying to find some inspiration. I was resting my body, but I wasn’t letting my mind rest, which was making me even more exhausted.

Before you start rolling your eyes and thinking “OK Jessie, not everyone can just take 3 days off!“, hear me out. I know that giving yourself 3 days might seem out of reach or impossible, considering where you are in life. But, we all need to find time in our lives to give ourselves a break. We all need it and it might be just what you need to get on track. Maybe see if anyone can help you out for a day to get some things off your plate so you can rest. Giving yourself just one day completely to yourself could be the best thing you do right now!

journal

I’ve talked about the importance of journaling many times, but I find that it holds so many benefits. Especially if you feel like your progress has stopped, no matter what area, it’s always good practice to get everything out of your head and on to paper.

Sometimes, we have things going on in our subconscious that we don’t even know that’s weighing us down. Which is why I always think that journaling can be super powerful. Just getting all of your thoughts, everything that bothering you out of your head and on to paper might give you some clarity.

If you want to read more information on my transformative experiences with journaling, make sure you check out my recent post on The Power of Journaling!

Come up with an action plan

After you journal and get everything out of your head and on to paper, it can be easier to see what specifically needs to be done to keep moving forward. Think about what’s going on and why this “step back” is happening.

Get specific. Don’t just say “get back on track”. How exactly are you going to do it? Are you going to give yourself a mental health day? Brain dump everything that needs to be done? Drink more water?

Giving yourself realistic actionable goals is important to getting yourself back on track.

find the silver lining

I truly believe that everything happens for a reason. We are given certain “bumps” in our paths because we are supposed to go through a certain learning experience to prepare us for what’s to come.

Finding the silver lining in a situation like this, when we feel like we’ve taken a step backwards, is helpful in shifting our mindset. If you can conquer your mindset, you can conquer anything!

If you just rolled your eyes when you read that, try to hear me out because I think this is really important! If we’re constantly beating ourselves up about things and focusing on the negatives all the time, it’s going to be really difficult to get to where we want to be. Just hear me out & try to shift your perspective!

If you are still not convinced, I understand. Shifting your perception is hard and can take some work. But, I do want to share a resource that I’ve mentioned before that helped me shift my mindset.

It’s a book called, Everything is Figureoutable by Marie Forleo!

This book revolves around the phrase, “Everything Is Figureoutable“. Meaning, no matter where you are in life, what situation you are currently in, no matter how sucky or sad, it is figureoutable. Marie Forleo helps you get out of your mental BS to start living your life. To help you get out of that mental funk that you’ve found yourself in and start taking actionable steps to changing your mindset.

I’ve noticed that each time I go through a period where I feel like I taking a step back & I see a regression in progress, I learn more about myself. I’ve been able to learn about what helps & what doesn’t and I’ve been able to make changes to make sure that I continue to keep moving forward.

Taking a step back, in any way, in any situation is frustrating. But, the way you perceive the situation can be a game changer!

xx,
Jess

The Power of Journaling

I’ve always been a writer. It’s been my art and how I’ve always been able to express myself. Writing was always what I excelled at in school. Pretty much the only thing I excelled at, really. While I was good at and enjoyed writing, I was never really one to write in a journal growing up. I just never really knew what I would write about in a journal, so I didn’t.

In 2016, journaling became a really important part of my self-care & taking care of my mental health. I started journaling in May 2016 when life got pretty stressful and I found myself struggling to keep my sanity. I would write about everything going on and trying to make myself think positively going into the day. I wrote on a notepad, nothing special, but I just used whatever I had laying around already. I would try writing every morning, talking myself into trying to be all positive throughout the day. I tried for a couple weeks, but ended up giving up weeks later. I had heard all about the positive things that could come from journaling, but I just wasn’t seeing the benefits myself.

In September 2016, I went to counseling for the first time. During my first session, my counselor told me to get myself a pretty planner and write everyday about what’s on my mind and write 3 things I love about myself everyday. Now, if you are going through a tough time and struggling to love yourself everyday, this is an incredibly tough task. But, I have been trying to keep journaling as a priority for a while now. 

Ever since then, for 3 years now, I have slowly been able to bring myself back together. While it was hard at first to even get the motivation and drive to write and find something that I loved about myself, I always ended up back there writing. I started writing about EVERY THING! It’s amazing all of the things that you can discover when you write it all down. 

Journaling isn’t just something to put on your to-do list and just use it as something to check off when it’s done. You have to take it seriously and be intentional. You may even discover some things lingering in your subconscious that you didn’t even know were there. 

Seriously, journaling is P O W E R F U L !

In the last year or so, I’ve really been trying to make this a daily thing. Before I start my day, I try to write 1-2 pages in my journal. I don’t give myself any limitations, just write. Everything that going on in my mind. I write about what’s frustrating me, how I’m feeling emotionally, the events going on in my life, what I’m excited/nervous about, what I am frustrated with myself about, where I want to be, my goals and ambitions. Anything. If it’s on my mind at the time, it goes in my journal. I had such a hard time at first figuring out what to write about. But, I’ve learned there’s no right or wrong way to journal. 

Sometimes, just getting all of the anger & stress out of your head and onto paper can be incredibly relieving. Keeping those negative words stuck in your head will only lead to releasing them in a way that you might regret later. Not to mention making you feel crappy. The thoughts might end up making you feel worse and you don’t know why. I get it. You get frustrated and can’t figure out how to get yourself to snap out of it. 

It might sound crazy if you aren’t an avid journal writer, but you seriously don’t know the true power of journaling. It can honestly be life changing. 

Over the last 3 years, I have made it to my fourth journal. Each journal carries moments, memories, struggles, breakthroughs. Each one holds a journey in my life. Sometimes, I will look back at these journals and really realize how far I have come. How when I first started journaling, I was an absolute mess. I hated everything and everyone. I was a miserable person, just going through the motions of life, wishing I could figure out what to do to pull myself together. 

To even think that I would end up where I am today, at that point is a dream that I didn’t even know that I had. Journaling can be transformative. It’s not just a task that you do just because people tell you that it’s “good to do”. With intention and purpose, it can truly transform lives. 

I typically don’t do journal prompts, because I feel like it takes away from what is on the surface that I need to talk about that specific day. But, these are some things that I usually end up writing about:

How are you feeling?

What emotions are you feeling?

How’s the week going?

What do you wish was going better?

What is going well?

What are you proud of yourself for?

What are you disappointed about?

Did someone/something make you mad?

If you prefer journal prompts, I definitely understand! There are TONS of prompts out there for any kind of self-discovery/reflection!

EXPRESS GRATITUDE

I also started writing about what I’m grateful for. I started with The Five Minute Journal. Even though I don’t like regular journal prompts, I did like the prompts prompts in this journal and I can honestly say that it helped me make expressing gratitude a habit.

I love The Five Minute Journal because it really gets you thinking about your intentions for the day and also reflecting at the end of the day.

You have prompts to write about at the start of the day and a reflection to do at the end of the day. The page starts off with a quote or a “weekly challenge”, followed by having you list 3 things you’re grateful for, 3 things that would make the day great and a daily affirmation.

You might notice that you have a hard time listing 3 things you’re grateful for each day. Especially on days that you don’t feel so great. But, the longer you keep to it, the easier it comes to you. I’ve noticed that throughout some days, I find myself naturally expressing gratitude for things that I would otherwise turn a blind eye to. 

Then, at the end of the day, you reflect on how the day went. Having you write about 3 things that went well and listing what would have made the day better. Even on those days that you feel didn’t go so well, this really helps to be able to find some positives in what you might think there aren’t any.

I’ve been better at journaling in the morning, than at night. I’m still working working on journaling about my day right before I go to bed, but it’s a work in progress! You’ve got to start somewhere, right?!

I usually like to start my day with both free journaling, as well as filling in The Five Minute Journal prompts. It’s taken practice to be able to make journaling a habit and to be able to find positive things to talk about. Even if I’m not feeling so great that day, journaling helps me get everything off my chest and expressing gratitude definitely helps me shift my mindset. Now, everyday isn’t going to be all positive and that’s okay. But, journaling has definitely been a main staple in helping me shift my mindset and perception going into each day.

Sometimes for me, journaling can bring an idea for a blog post or social media post I can write about. It has given me business ideas, realization of dreams & aspirations. I like to let my journaling and what comes to surface dictate the flow of the day and where I want to really place my focus. For example, starting a new journal sparked the idea to write a post about how transformative journaling has been. 

Imagine where your life could be if you started journaling ASAP. Not to be dramatic, but your life could seriously change forever. You just never know. ❤

xx