Tips For When You’re Not Feeling Motivated

Not feeling motivated is REAL and it is FRUSTRATING! Knowing you have a lot to do but just can’t seem to get yourself to get it done can be just incredibly frustrating. But, what I’m learning is there’s no such thing as feeling motivated all.the.time. Even though it’s frustrating, I’m starting to learn what I can do to help myself work through feeling unmotivated. 

Below I have listed a couple of things that I have found to be helpful during the times that I don’t feel motivated to get work done. These are just little things that work for me, and don’t necessarily mean they will be helpful for anyone else. But, they might be worth a try if you are struggling and don’t know what to do, like I feel sometimes.

The main thing to understand is that you have to know yourself and what works best for you. What works for me, might not work for you and vice versa. You might work well under pressure, but I tend to crumble under pressure. These items might not work for you based on your personality and what works best for you.


Not force myself to try to get something done.

Especially if I was planning on writing a blog post or create content, I can’t force myself to be creative. Trying to force myself just makes me even more frustrated and feeling burnt out. So, this might mean holding off on that task or taking a step back for a little bit. For some people, they strive on pressure, but for me, I don’t work well AT.ALL. So, I can’t put that kind of pressure on myself and force myself because it just doesn’t work for me.

Journal/write down what’s on my mind.

Sometimes I can’t get something done because I have a lot on my mind. Journaling about what’s going on in my mind helps me get it out and clear my mind. Doing this sometimes also helps me come up with ideas that maybe I want to blog about or topics that I want to research more. It’s important to listen to your mind and your body and to be able to give it what it needs at that time. There’s nothing wrong with taking the time to journal to help you get everything out. I notice this to be prevalent if I’m really stressed about something, if I got into an argument, received some bad news, or even if I just need figured out what is going on in my mind. You would be very surprised what kinds of things come to surface when you journal. Things that you would not even expect. But, it might be exactly what you need to give you that motivation that you need to keep going and get work done like you wanted to.  

Going on a walk or just getting outside.

Sometimes just leaving the environment and getting outside helps. Like I mentioned above, just sitting at my desk trying to force myself to be creative and get something done doesn’t help me. So, stepping away and getting some fresh air sometime helps to at least settle my mind down a little bit. 

Giving myself the day off.

Feeling unmotivated can sometimes be a sign that your body is telling you something. That you need to take a break and rest. I’m a very emotional person. So, when I receive unexpected sad news, it can hard to get myself to concentrate. During these times I know I just need to give myself- my mind and body an break. It can also mean that I’ve been overworking myself and my mind a little bit too much and I need to sleep. So, I’ll let myself sleep in or lay down for an afternoon nap. There’s nothing wrong with giving yourself a personal/mental health day if you need to. I think that sometimes we think that we need to force ourselves to work during difficult times and try to work through these times when we really just need to take some time off. Listen to your mind & body and give yourself permission to take a day off if you need to. You might feel like you are going into the next day feeling more refreshed, relaxed and motivated than if you tried to force yourself to try to work.

Go to Pinterest & YouTube for inspiration.

I feel like I say this in every post, but it has helped me out so much. There’s been times when I spent an hour each day for a week or 2 watching YouTube videos of people who I look up to and get ideas and motivation from them. If I get a “light bulb” to go off in my head, I’ll write it down and what comes from it. Pinterest is also a good place to look because it is filled with people who have all kinds of ideas to try out! It’s helpful to learn from others who have done what you’re doing before and they might have ideas that you might not of thought about before. This doesn’t mean taking their ideas, but you never know what kind of “light bulb” moment you might have!

Brain dumping everything that I want to get done.

There’s been times when I am feeling like I have so much to do but just don’t know where to start. So, I’ll sit down and brain dump everything that I feel like I need to get done. There’s been times when I do this and realize that I’ve been overwhelmed for no reason. From there I’ll try to break down the tasks and come up with a reasonable plan for getting them done. This often mean breaking it down into work, getting a little bit done at a time. When I’m feeling unmotivated, I try to start with the “easy” tasks because that sometimes leads to getting more ideas and leads me to getting even more work done than I originally anticipated. If I try to start with harder, more time consuming tasks, I know that I just won’t get anything done. But, if I start small, I often find myself getting more and more motivated and gaining more and more ideas. 


It’s a process for sure and not feeling motivated is very frustrating to deal with, especially when you feel like you have so much to do and just want to be productive. For me, I’ve learned that I’ll get an idea and have all of this motivation, work myself to exhaustion then feel burnt out for a couple days. Then I have to figure out how to get motivated again. I’ve done this many times because I feel like I need to take advantage of all the motivation that I have. But, that’s just not a feasible way to go about it. We all need breaks and we need to make sure that we are being cautious of our brain power, our bodies and step away and take breaks!

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The Importance of Self-Care

September is Self-Care Awareness Month! I had “Self-Care” on my list of blog topics that I wanted to talk about. When I saw that September was Self-Care Awareness month, I figured this would be the perfect time to have this chat about the importance of self-care. 

We all know that self-care is important, but how many people really take the time to focus on themselves? Self-care looks different for everybody because we are all different and need different things. 

Self-care doesn’t always have to be face masks and bubble baths if that’s not for you!

I truly have a passion for living a healthy balanced lifestyle and getting the most out of life. We all get caught up in day-to-day tasks and activities that sometimes we forget one important thing: self-care & making ourselves a priority. 

We all have non-negotiables that need to be present in our daily routine because when they aren’t present, things seem to get out of control. By “non-negotiable”, I mean, that one thing that you need present for your sanity. For me, my non-negotiable is working out, especially first thing in the morning. Once I figured this out and got myself on a consistent routine, this has been the ultimate game-changer for me.


A couple years ago, I was experiencing various stressors in my life. Things seemed all out of control and I couldn’t figure out how to get myself back on track. I was stressed, exhausted, overwhelmed, unsure and pretty unhappy with just about everything. I had started seeing my healthy habits disappearing. I was unmotivated to go to the gym, got lazy when it came to washing my face at night, I mean I did not want to do any of my healthy habits throughout the day. Which was weird because I’ve always been one to always have healthy habits in place. 

It wasn’t until I started going to the gym first thing in the morning that things started falling into place. Things started making more sense to me. The days that I don’t go to the gym or get some kind of exercise in, I feel all anxious and flustered all day. That’s when I realized that working out was my non-negotiable self-care ritual. 

Over the last year that I’ve been regularly on a workout schedule, I have slowly been able to implement other self-care habits into my day and see which ones work best for me. Since I’ve been experiencing many changes in my life recently, I’ve had a hard time with getting myself on a solid self-care routine. But, I am learning first-hand the importance of incorporating some self-care into your day and figuring out which ones are necessary for you. 

Along this journey so far, I’ve learned how hard it can be to let go of stressors in our daily life. Not be focusing on all the things that we don’t have and that we wish we had. For me, I noticed myself neglecting self-care when I was overwhelmed by stress and how unhappy I was. Which in turn lead me to feeling even more stressed and unhappy because I wasn’t taking care of myself. 

Sound familiar to anyone?

What I also had to learn is that I needed to choose myself and start making myself and my self-care a priority if I wanted all the stress to go away and to feel happy, I had to come first. It’s extremely hard to do when you are so far deep in the mental funk. What I learned is that making even the smallest changes goes a long way. 

What I also learned is that I would tell myself that I’m going to do all of the self-care things right away, all at once. Well, probably not surprising at all, it didn’t work. Which was very frustrating because its SELF-CARE, it should be making me happy, right?!

Meh… not really.

When we set unrealistic goals for ourselves, it can be frustrating and overwhelming because it’s not likely to be possible to achieve those things. Then, we get hard on ourselves when we don’t do the things we told ourselves that we would do. The things that we told ourselves to do became less of a self-care item and more of a chore. The last thing self-care should be is a chore.

Side note: why does self-care have to be so dang complicated?!

Instead of telling yourself,“I’m going to get to the gym 5 days this week, do face masks every day and meditate for 30 minutes twice a day” maybe make the goal to get outside for a 10-15 minute walk a couple days a week, do a face mask once a week and journal a couple times a week. If that. 

But, it’s important to do things that you love and make you feel good. 

Some ideas for self-care:

Take a bubble bath 

This is one of my favorite things and used to be something I did every Sunday night. Dimming the lights or just letting candles provide the light and putting on relaxing music. The apartment I just recently moved into doesn’t have a bath tub, which I’m really sad about but I try to take a long hot shower with lavendar essential oils. Not the same, but you have to work with what ya got!

Face scrubs & face masks. 

This is one thing that I have been really bad about but I love doing. I was getting lazy with even washing my face. But, there’s something relaxing and refreshing about giving your face (& body!) some extra TLC, especially right before bed!

Journaling.

Journaling can be one of the most therapeutic activities! I have recently re-incorporated journaling back into my morning and night routine and I have seen tremendous results. Journaling allows you to get all of your stressors and anything bothering you out of your subconscious mind so it’s not stuck there. Our natural tendency is to suppress hard or stressful things, but the subconscious doesn’t forget that it’s there. So, journaling is a great technique to use to talk about what’s going on in your life. Some questions to answer: What’s going well? What’s stressing you out? What’s holding you back? What are you feeling? What would make the day great? How did the day go? What went well? What could be improved?

I personally don’t like journal prompts, but I know some people find them very helpful. I find that just free writing and letting my mind guide the writing helps me a lot more. I try to write a full page in the morning and just brain dump everything that’s on my mind.

Meditation.

I have a love/hate relationship with meditation, but there are SO many benefits from it! Meditation is difficult at first, at least it is for me. It’s difficult to turn off your thoughts for some time. But, if that’s an issue for you, then maybe this is something that you need to help you quiet your mind. I’ve found adding in mediation into my morning and night routine has been very helpful in decreasing my stress and anxiety.

Tip: Start with 2-3 minutes once a day. If you try to start longer and more often, you might find that you get frustrated and end up not seeing mediation to be helpful for you. 

Affirmations. 

Have you noticed that you have very negative self-talk? Like “I’m so stupid”, “I’m a failure.”, “Why can’t I do anything right?” I noticed that too for a while. How we talk about ourselves and how we think about ourselves correlates with how we feel and how we show up for ourselves. If you keep telling yourself “I’m a failure” all the time, you can’t expect yourself to feel all that great about yourself. If you go into a situation thinking “I’m a failure”, you’re going to treat yourself and the situation like you’re a failure. 

It’s all about perception. Instead of constantly telling yourself “I’m a failure”,try saying “I am strong & capable of success”, “I am powerful”, “I will be successful”. Repeat affirmations everyday, write them on sticky notes, give yourself reminders. Trust me, it works wonders! Positive self-talk is incredibly important!

Take a break.

It is very easy to get caught up in daily tasks and being busy that we forget to slow down throughout the day. I find it helpful to take small breaks throughout the day to give my mind a rest. Take this time to do something that you enjoy and find refreshing and helpful. Maybe you take a break to read, journal, watch tv, get outside, etc. Especially if it’s a nice day, I’ve been trying to take 10 minutes to walk around outside to get some fresh air. 

Exercise.

As we all know, there are SO many positive benefits to exercise. There are of course physical benefits to working out, but more importantly, mental benefits as well. Try to make it a priority to get out and go on a walk/run, get to the gym a couple times a week, go on a bike ride, take a class, anything! Get your body moving!

Read.

Reading is a great way to calm your mind and relax. I’m not much of a reader, but when I do, I like to right before I go to bed. It makes me tired and calms my mind. Maybe reading can be a perfect addition to your night time routine!

Do something you love.

This seems like an obvious, but sometimes when we are too stressed, we neglect the things we love. Life gets in the way and you just forget about that hobby that makes you so happy. This can be anything. Maybe it drawing, painting, coloring, ceramics, building things, etc. 

Get outside.

Sometimes simply just being outside and getting fresh air can be incredibly refreshing. If you are someone that tends to stay inside in your office all day, maybe getting outside for even just a 10-15 minute break might be helpful and refreshing!

Get a Massage .

Massages can be a bit pricey, so this might be a every-once-in-a-while splurge on your self-care. But, if it’s in your budget, don’t be afraid to take it the extra mile and treat yo self- you deserve it!

Treat Yourself to a Mani/pedi

Similar to getting a massage, don’t be afraid to treat yo self! I very rarely go to a salon to get my nails done. But, sometimes it’s nice to splurge a little bit and get a little pampered!

Go to Therapy.

As someone with a psychology background, I whole-heartedly believe in the benefits of talk therapy. Of course, this is something that not everyone has access to. Even just talking about what’s going on to family/friends if you are feeling stressed out. I find talk therapy to be helpful because it gets everything off of your chest so you’re not keeping everything bottled up inside. This can bring up lots of emotions, which can be hard and uncomfortable to deal with in the moment. But, the end result makes you feel so much more relieved to have all of the extra weight off of your shoulders! 

Make plans with a friend.

Again, being overly busy can make it hard to make friendships a priority. But, it always feels good to catch up with a friend that you haven’t seen in a while. I encourage you to contact a couple friends you haven’t seen in a while and make plans throughout the month or in the near future! 

Go Shopping.

OK retail therapy is not for me. Shopping tends to stress me out more than it makes me feel refreshed. Although, there is something to say about buying yourself a new outfit to wear that you feel real good in! 

Take yourself to see a movie.

Again, movies aren’t really my thing. While I enjoy them, I don’t ever think to do this. But, if you are someone that really enjoys movies, then this is a great one for you! Take yourself to see that movie that you’ve been wanting to see! Or spend a Friday/Saturday night in for a movie night (this is what I would be more likely to do!). Make yourself a bowl of popcorn, grab a glass of wine and a comfy blanket and you are good to go! Sounds amazing, doesn’t it?! 


The list is endless! It’s important to do what makes you feel happy and refreshed. Whatever you need! I encourage you and challenge you to pick a couple things to do every day this month for self-care. They say it takes three weeks  to form a habit! So, by the end of the month you might have developed a self-care routine habit that you will carry with you even after September ends!

So, what self-care activities are you committing to trying this month?!

Getting through a quarter life crisis

IMG_4870Do you celebrate yourself & your accomplishments on your birthday? I love birthdays for many reasons because I think it is a GREAT excuse to celebrate yourself! Today is my 26th birthday & I have SO much to celebrate! The very first thing that I want to celebrate is officially being out of my early twenties. I’ve mentioned this many times before, but I pretty much describe the disfunction of my early twenties as a quarter life crisis. The feeling of being on the other side and finally  moving in a positive direction is an amazing feeling! So, today I want to take the time to not only celebrate myself & my accomplishments, but I also want to explain how I worked through this time in my life to get to the other side. If you are going through this time in your life- this post is for you! ❤

Blog- Quarter Life Crisis

Ah, the quarter life crisis.

It was something that I never really thought was a “real” thing. I just thought it was a phrase that people my age threw around & joked about. But, here’s the thing, I now whole-heartedly believe that it’s a real thing now. Your twenties can be a confusing time as you are figuring things out, adjusting to the “real world”, learning about yourself & where you are supposed to be in this world. I think time is a blessing in disguise, a necessary time meant to happen so you can experience some form of hardship, learn & keep moving forward.

I think it’s also important to understand that this looks different for everyone. What might be hard for me, or anyone one else, doesn’t mean it will necessarily be for the next person. I remember feeling bad for feeling down about where I was in life, guilty about having these harsh feelings towards where I was in life. I now know that this is completely normal.

I also think this can come at different times in life for different people & can also look different for everyone. It’s important to not compare one’s experiences to your own & try to base normalcy off of others. For me, my “Quarter Life Crisis” appeared from 22-25. The thing is, on paper, on social media, I “looked” happy & life “looked” like I had everything together. I had a job right out of college in my field with good benefits, I moved out of my parent’s house 5 months after graduating from college & was mostly financially independent, I got into a relationship—seems ideal, right? But, I was miserable. I was unmotivated. I was confused. I was frustrated.

Why am I not happy? I have everything I should ever need/want at this point?

This is what I believe now to have been an a quarter life crisis. Things didn’t make sense, I was confused, I didn’t know what to do, I was unhappy. So, I HAD to embark on a journey of self-discovery to get to where I am today. A quarter-life crisis doesn’t sound all that positive, but trust me, there’s a silver lining- more importantly, there’s a purpose for it.

This time in my life pushed me out of my comfort zone, forced me to figure out more about myself, become stronger & more empowered, start living the life I’ve always wanted to live. It literally needed to happen, because I would not be where I am today if it wasn’t for the experience. If you are going through a hard time in your life, a quarter life crisis, where you don’t know what’s going on & you just feel lost & confused- it’s OK- great things are about to happen. Trust me.

Now, after 2.5 years living back at home  with my parents, getting myself back on my own two feet, I’m moved into a beautiful apartment, in a wonderful relationship with my amazing boyfriend, started my own business working from home & truly enjoying every single day. If it wasn’t for this experience, I would not be in this position. I would not be where I am today, I would not be this happy.

I truly want you to get through any obstacles, road blocks, hard times like I did. It is possible & I am going to tell you my main tips for getting through this time. Like I’ve mentioned before, these times look different for everyone, what might’ve worked for me might not work for you. But, I do think some of these tips could be implemented in some way, shape or form for everyone.

What I did to overcome the quarter life crisis


 Focused on myself

This might seem cliché, but taking care of ourselves is often the first thing we forget to focus on during stressful times. I remember the time where I felt like everything had fallen apart and nothing about my life I was satisfied about. I felt like I had worked so hard and wasn’t getting anywhere.

I knew that if I wanted things to be different, then I had to take actionable steps to actually making that change. I wanted to embark on a mind, body, soul journey and really start taking care of myself. I started journaling, going on morning walks, eating better, getting on a workout schedule, signing up for yoga classes, making plans with friends. You know what truly makes you happy. Even if in the moment, you don’t necessarily desire those things at the moment, but making small goals each day to reincorporate those things could be super helpful.

I let myself feel emotions as they occurred 

Do you ever go through a rollercoaster of emotions, where you feel angry, upset, frustrated? Do you beat yourself up for having those feelings? The thing is, you can’t help what emotions come up. If they come up, they are there for a reason. It’s OK to feel angry or upset. Let yourself deal with the emotions as they arise. For me, I noticed that I would feel better after I just let myself feel. There’s nothing wrong with that, but we often want to avoid those negative emotions because they are uncomfortable in the moment. Just remember not to beat yourself up about it.

Talked to people

We often try to bottle up our emotions and not talk about what’s really going on. You can journal all you want, but sometimes you really need to talk to another human. Multiple humans. The best place to go is your family and friends who truly care about you and are there with active listening ears. You can even go to counseling if you need it & it fits into your schedule & budget.

Talking it out also helps you release your emotions & even get advice from others. When you talk to an outside source, they might be able to provide you with ideas that you never even thought of. In talking to people, you might even get a connection from them for you to reach out to and help you along your journey. The more people you talk to and connect with, the better.

BUT, it’s also important to not go into information overload. Know when you are getting too much conflicting information, but take on as many opportunities that come your way from this piece of advice.

Stopped putting so much pressure on myself

I had put so much pressure on myself to get things together, that I could not even focus on the task at hand. The more pressure I put on myself, the further in the hole I seemed to get. Then, I would get even more stressed & frustrated that I couldn’t even focus on anything else or take care of myself.

When I got fired from my job, that’s when I just stopped putting pressure on myself. I was emotionally exhausted and I was done feeling that way. Seriously, the moment I stopped putting that pressure on myself & started focusing on myself, things started falling into place. Some people work better under pressure & that’s completely fine. You have to adjust to what works best for you. Sometimes you have to go through these situations to really learn about yourself.

I never gave up

When times get hard & it seems like nothing you do is working, it’s can be super easy to just give up. What’s the point? When the track record isn’t very good, it’s very hard to continue to stay motivated. You can work as hard as you want, but I believe the most important thing to remember is not to give up on yourself! You can take all the advice & when it seems like nothing is working, it is very easy to get discouraged. This time usually means an incredible breakthrough is coming. It’s unknown when it will happen, but this time is necessary for all of the amazing things that are coming your way.


Like I’ve mentioned, our experiences are all different. My experience might be different from yours & vice versa, & what you need to get through it might be different from mine. I think the main thing to remember is not to give up on yourself & take it one day at a time. Let yourself feel all the feelings as the come, knowing they are there for a reason. If you keep going, keep learning & keep giving yourself permission to go through this experience your will get through it!- Blissfully Jess2

 

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Who do you workout for?

The new year is a time when people make resolutions, usually having to do with enhancing their lives in some way. As known, one of the most common New Year’s Resolution is to go to the gym and get in shape. But, what about a resolution to NOT go to the gym?

Going to the gym & getting in shape should be done to feel better about yourself, and enhance your overall well-being. Fitness can have so many positive mental & physical impacts, but a recent conversation with a friend completely baffled me & inspired me.

A couple weeks ago I was having a conversation said friend and they (I’m choosing to keep them completely anonymous) said something to me that really got me thinking. This is the gist of how the conversation went:

Friend: “My goal for 2019 is to not go to the gym at all this year”

Me: *confused* …“what?”

Friend: “Yeah, I started to realize that I was going to the gym to look good for others, not to make myself feel better.”

To be honest, I was in a state of shock. But after a while, I started thinking about how powerful and inspiring that is. “I started to realize that I was going to the gym to look good for others, not to make myself feel better.” First and foremost, I am so proud of my friend for acknowledging the fact they were doing something to impress someone else, not for themselves. Making a decision to do something that is completely opposite of the norm because you realized you are doing it for all the wrong reasons is so powerful. Seriously! Going to the gym should be about YOU! It never occurred to me to think about it this way.

After thinking about it for some time, it made me realize that I needed to take a step back and make sure I am doing things for myself, not for others. Actually, I think we all need to take a moment to stop and think about whether we are doing things for no other reason than for ourselves.

*To clarify: I am talking about “things” related to self-care. Like, working out, in this scenario.

Working out is such a great way to improve our overall physical & mental health, but we have to make sure we are doing it for all the right reasons.

 Ask yourself these questions:

Are you working out to impress someone?

Are you working out to look good for someone else?

Are you working out to post a gym selfie on Instagram?

OR

Are you working out to get in shape & feel good about yourself? 

Especially with social media being so powerful, we are always cautious about what others are thinking of us. We want to post the most beautiful images of ourselves & are constantly worried about what others will think. But, at the end of the day, we do need to make sure that we are taking care of ourselves, taking a mental break from looking good for others and make sure we are truly taking care of our well-being.

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For me, fitness has completely changed my life in so many ways. I feel so much more confident & happy and I can’t imagine letting go of my workout routine. The last time I did that, I fell into some serious mental health issues. But, for me, I decided to get back into the gym for myself. It’s something I use for self-care & something I identify with!

While I still believe that health & fitness is important, this recent conversation has left we thinking about it in a whole different perspective. It made me really think about making sure I am making these decisions for myself, rather than for the acceptance of others.

While social acceptance is a human necessity, I do think we all as a society could start thinking more about our mental health as well. In my personal experiences, when I start taking care of myself & my mental health, social acceptance follows.

So let me ask you this…

Are you really doing things, like working out, for yourself or for others?

- Blissfully Jess2

Gaining confidence to be my true, authentic self

Growth happens outside of the comfort zone.

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I’ve always been painfully shy, easily embarrassed & incredibly worried about what other people thought of me. It’s a natural instinct because we all need social acceptance. I used to just hide in my own little shell, because that where I felt I was safe. Safe from any potential judgement from anyone. No fear of making a fool out of myself. But there have definitely been times when I wished I was less shy & introverted & more naturally outgoing. I wished I was able to put myself out there and achieve what they were doing. They made it seem so effortless.

What if I make a fool out of myself? What if I fail miserably? What if nobody cares what I have to say?

Finding yourself and figuring out your purpose can be a very difficult journey. Everyone’s journey is different, but that’s what makes it so special. Like a lot of people, my confidence was super low, especially in high school. I didn’t realize how low it was until I got to college. That’s when I started coming out of my shell and starting to get myself out there more and more. Over the last couple years, the most important thing I’ve learned is that wishing wasn’t going to help me achieve my goals. Less wishing more doing. I started actively doing things that purposely put me out of my comfort zone.

Since personal growth happens outside of the comfort zone.

Of course, it started working & I slowly started gaining more confidence & ultimately accept who I am. Which is great, I’ve learned a lot and grown  A LOT. But, it wasn’t until this last year that I actually realized what was holding me back. While I was gaining confidence, I still had this feeling in the back of my head that I just didn’t have what it took to do exactly what I wanted to do to reach my goals. But, I was holding myself back because I was so worried about what others would think. Why would anyone care what I have to say? What if I completely embarrass myself & make a fool out of myself?

What I realized, eventually, is that I was letting the potential negative opinions of others control my own thoughts about myself. I finally got to a point where I had to come to the realization that this fear of potential failure & falling flat on my face in complete embarrassment was really the only thing holding me back. Yes, I’m super shy and anxious, but that doesn’t mean I don’t have the “personality”. I needed to realize that I needed to take the control back for myself. To realize that I’m the only one that is completely in control of my own life & the path that I decide to take for myself. I still wish I wasn’t so anxious all the time, but I am definitely proud of myself for taking the necessary steps to getting to this point. I still have a long way to go, but boy have I come a long way.

Ever since I launched my business and started writing blogs, I’ve had such an incredible response. I finally let go of the potential negative outcome and negative reactions that I just let myself do what I wanted, how I wanted. What I have learned is: people care. It has seriously taken a long, sometimes painful, road to get to this point of discovery. But, it’s true and it feels so good to finally have that weight lifted off my shoulders.

I no longer think to myself, “wow, I wish I was more like that” because I have realized that I am truly the only one holding myself back. I’ve heard a lot of success stories that come from people who work hard and take really risky chances. Staying in your comfort zone is only going to provide you with mediocre results, ultimately keeping you from living life to the absolute fullest. Life can be tricky & social media can make things a lot harder for people to find their confidence. We are more connected than ever & it is so easy to compare ourselves. “Wow, I wish I looked like her”, “Her life seems so perfect”.

There are still times when I have those “Oh crap, what have I done?” moments where I get this thought in my mind that I really have made a fool out of myself. I still get those moments where I think I need to retract back to my shell and my comfort zone & stop trying to put myself out there. But, I have to keep reminding myself why I have done this in the first place. There have been times in the past where I have given into my own negative self-talk & have retracted back to my comfort zone, where I know I am safe. But, I won’t let myself do that this time, because I know where my potential is. You never know your potential & what could happen, unless you try. But, you have to remember to keep going. Keep moving forward.

The most important thing that I’ve learned this past year, especially in the last 6 months or so, is how much of my life is in my control. It is so easy to look at the big picture and to think that it is completely impossible, but we have to realize what is in our control. That has seriously been a game changer for me! It seems like something so simple, but I know that a lot of people go through this as well & I hope that I can provide at least some inspiration to let your guard down & start living the life you’ve always wanted.

I encourage every single person reading this to start doing little things to get yourself out there, out of your comfort zone. To start living the life you’ve always wanted. I’m not saying big things, just small little changes that you can start doing today to help makes this possible. You are the only person that is in control of your own life! 

We are all learning & growing every single day. Amazing things can happen, if we keeping working towards letting go of potential negative outcomes & start becoming our true, authentic selves. Now, let’s all get out there & start living our best lives! 💖

- Blissfully Jess2

HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY: 5 things I love about myself & my boyfriend

Happy Valentine’s Day!

Valentine's Day Blog

It’s the season of loooove, right?! We all love celebrating Valentine’s Day… if you are in a stable relationship, of course. I believe that voicing our love ourselves is just as important, if not MORE important. No matter how you are celebrating, whether it’s gathering roses and chocolates, spoiling your significant other, or maybe you are riding the love train solo; however you are celebrating this hallmark holiday, I hope you take the time to treat yo self as well. We should show ourselves love often & everyday, but this day I think it is a good excuse to really do it, and do it well & over the top.

Self-care is extremely important, as we all know..right?! It’s also a different topic for a different day (soon!). I encourage everyone to take some time this Valentine’s Day to show OURSELVES some love, while we are showing our loved ones extra love as well. Whether that means pampering yourself a little extra, writing about all the things you love about yourself, or whatever else YOU need.

In honor of Valentine’s Day, this season of looove, I am going to write out 5 things I love about myself as well as 5 things I love about my boyfriend.

5 things I love about myself 💗

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1. I never give up

Life has a funny way of throwing a TON of curve balls & bumps in the road. We’ve all been there, so I know you know what I’m talking about. I feel like no matter what I try to do, there’s always 20 things in my way that I have to overcome. Again, we’ve all been there. No matter what has happened throughout my life, I know that I will never give up. I’ve already come this far & I’m not stopping now!

2. I’ve learned to accept who I am

I remember always wishing I was better, smarter, prettier, skinnier, etc, etc. Again, I think we’ve all been there at some point in our lives. As humans, we strive to be socially accepted. We need social acceptance to survive. Therefore, we often feel like we need to be different than who we are to be accepted by others. It’s often very hard to be convinced & convince ourselves that we are just fine the way we are. 🙂 After many years of trial & error with learning about myself, I have finally learned to just own who I am.

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3. I have a great personality

Even though it took me a long time to accept who I am, I’ve always known that I have a great personality. I love how nice I am to everyone & how I truly want the best for everyone. It’s definitely a major part of who I am that I’m most proud of.

4. I’m uniquely smart & have learned to use this accordingly

This goes along with my first post, My journey from a struggling high school student to starting my own business. Smartness is something I definitely OWN now, because I felt so dumb for a majority of my life. I am now using my intelligence to make a difference in the world & I have to admit, it’s AWESOME. There’s no better feeling than being able to use your talents to make a difference.

5.  I truly want to make a difference in the world

When you have a burning feeling in your soul that you really want to make a difference, it’s honestly an amazing feeling. Not knowing how I truly wanted to make that difference was hard because I knew that I had to do it somehow. To wrap up these 5 things, I am just very proud of myself for sticking to what I truly want to do in this world. I am still holding onto that burning feeling of wanting to make a difference in the world. No matter where life takes you, never forget about your passion & what you want to do on this earth.

Side Note: I have to be honest, coming up with the fifth reason was a little tricky. It’s sad to think that it took me a while to come up with only 5 things that I love myself. But, I did want these reasons to be thoughtful & good reasons to love myself. I think it goes to show that when you don’t take the time to think about all the things you love about yourself, you often realize that you forget how amazing you really are. I encourage everyone reading this to take some time to write out a list of things you love about yourself. We all need this reminder sometimes. 🙂

5 things I love about my boyfriend ❤

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For those of you who don’t know my boyfriend, meet Michael. We’ve been dating since October 2018 & he is truly a spectacular person! Also, my brother’s name is Michael. Yes, it is a little confusing & slightly weird.

Anyway… Here’s just a small glimpse at the amazing reasons why I looove him. ❤

1. He loves me unconditionally

The feeling of being unconditionally loved is an indescribable feeling. From the very beginning of our relationship, I automatically felt like I could be my true, authentic self around him.

2. He knows how to make me feel better

I am a very emotional person & with all the changes & everything going on in my life, he knows how to keep me grounded. It’s almost like he knows me better than I know myself. He know what I need from him to make everything better.

3. He makes me laugh

Laughter is the best medicine, right?! Being able to have those inside jokes & just laugh with each other is a feeling I can’t explain. I know understand why it’s important for your significant other to be your best friend, because we truly to just have fun together!

4. He supports me

Holy crap, this one is HUGE! I also never understood the true importance of support in a relationship until I met Michael. He came into my life right in the middle of my Mid-Twenties breakdown trying to figure out what I wanted to do with my life. With all of the changes in my professional career, he has been with me every step of the way.

5. He is my best friend

I know I already mentioned this briefly, but he truly is my best friend. He’s my rock. Keeps me sane. Makes me feel special & worthy of love. This is also something I never felt or experienced until he came along. He is the first person I call (other than my mom, of course) when good things or bad things happen. He’s there when I need to be cheered up or to celebrate success. We are truly just living our lives, enjoying the time with each other. It is an amazing feeling to be with someone who makes you feel like that.

All I have to say is wowThis exercise was very refreshing & leaving me feeling great about myself. I really do encourage you to take the time to take advantage of this hallmark holiday. Show yourself some extra love and remind yourself about all the reasons why you love yourself & how amazing you. We are all constantly stressed and worried about the future. It’s OK to take this time and reflect on how amazing you are. It’s your turn!

Now, what do you love about yourself?!

Valentine's Day Blog

- Blissfully Jess2

 

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