The Power of Journaling

I’ve always been a writer. It’s been my art and how I’ve always been able to express myself. Writing was always what I excelled at in school. Pretty much the only thing I excelled at, really. While I was good at and enjoyed writing, I was never really one to write in a journal growing up. I just never really knew what I would write about in a journal, so I didn’t.

In 2016, journaling became a really important part of my self-care & taking care of my mental health. I started journaling in May 2016 when life got pretty stressful and I found myself struggling to keep my sanity. I would write about everything going on and trying to make myself think positively going into the day. I wrote on a notepad, nothing special, but I just used whatever I had laying around already. I would try writing every morning, talking myself into trying to be all positive throughout the day. I tried for a couple weeks, but ended up giving up weeks later. I had heard all about the positive things that could come from journaling, but I just wasn’t seeing the benefits myself.

In September 2016, I went to counseling for the first time. During my first session, my counselor told me to get myself a pretty planner and write everyday about what’s on my mind and write 3 things I love about myself everyday. Now, if you are going through a tough time and struggling to love yourself everyday, this is an incredibly tough task. But, I have been trying to keep journaling as a priority for a while now. 

Ever since then, for 3 years now, I have slowly been able to bring myself back together. While it was hard at first to even get the motivation and drive to write and find something that I loved about myself, I always ended up back there writing. I started writing about EVERY THING! It’s amazing all of the things that you can discover when you write it all down. 

Journaling isn’t just something to put on your to-do list and just use it as something to check off when it’s done. You have to take it seriously and be intentional. You may even discover some things lingering in your subconscious that you didn’t even know were there. 

Seriously, journaling is P O W E R F U L !

In the last year or so, I’ve really been trying to make this a daily thing. Before I start my day, I try to write 1-2 pages in my journal. I don’t give myself any limitations, just write. Everything that going on in my mind. I write about what’s frustrating me, how I’m feeling emotionally, the events going on in my life, what I’m excited/nervous about, what I am frustrated with myself about, where I want to be, my goals and ambitions. Anything. If it’s on my mind at the time, it goes in my journal. I had such a hard time at first figuring out what to write about. But, I’ve learned there’s no right or wrong way to journal. 

Sometimes, just getting all of the anger & stress out of your head and onto paper can be incredibly relieving. Keeping those negative words stuck in your head will only lead to releasing them in a way that you might regret later. Not to mention making you feel crappy. The thoughts might end up making you feel worse and you don’t know why. I get it. You get frustrated and can’t figure out how to get yourself to snap out of it. 

It might sound crazy if you aren’t an avid journal writer, but you seriously don’t know the true power of journaling. It can honestly be life changing. 

Over the last 3 years, I have made it to my fourth journal. Each journal carries moments, memories, struggles, breakthroughs. Each one holds a journey in my life. Sometimes, I will look back at these journals and really realize how far I have come. How when I first started journaling, I was an absolute mess. I hated everything and everyone. I was a miserable person, just going through the motions of life, wishing I could figure out what to do to pull myself together. 

To even think that I would end up where I am today, at that point is a dream that I didn’t even know that I had. Journaling can be transformative. It’s not just a task that you do just because people tell you that it’s “good to do”. With intention and purpose, it can truly transform lives. 

I typically don’t do journal prompts, because I feel like it takes away from what is on the surface that I need to talk about that specific day. But, these are some things that I usually end up writing about:

How are you feeling?

What emotions are you feeling?

How’s the week going?

What do you wish was going better?

What is going well?

What are you proud of yourself for?

What are you disappointed about?

Did someone/something make you mad?

If you prefer journal prompts, I definitely understand! There are TONS of prompts out there for any kind of self-discovery/reflection!

EXPRESS GRATITUDE

I also started writing about what I’m grateful for. I started with The Five Minute Journal. Even though I don’t like regular journal prompts, I did like the prompts prompts in this journal and I can honestly say that it helped me make expressing gratitude a habit.

I love The Five Minute Journal because it really gets you thinking about your intentions for the day and also reflecting at the end of the day.

You have prompts to write about at the start of the day and a reflection to do at the end of the day. The page starts off with a quote or a “weekly challenge”, followed by having you list 3 things you’re grateful for, 3 things that would make the day great and a daily affirmation.

You might notice that you have a hard time listing 3 things you’re grateful for each day. Especially on days that you don’t feel so great. But, the longer you keep to it, the easier it comes to you. I’ve noticed that throughout some days, I find myself naturally expressing gratitude for things that I would otherwise turn a blind eye to. 

Then, at the end of the day, you reflect on how the day went. Having you write about 3 things that went well and listing what would have made the day better. Even on those days that you feel didn’t go so well, this really helps to be able to find some positives in what you might think there aren’t any.

I’ve been better at journaling in the morning, than at night. I’m still working working on journaling about my day right before I go to bed, but it’s a work in progress! You’ve got to start somewhere, right?!


I usually like to start my day with both free journaling, as well as filling in The Five Minute Journal prompts. It’s taken practice to be able to make journaling a habit and to be able to find positive things to talk about. Even if I’m not feeling so great that day, journaling helps me get everything off my chest and expressing gratitude definitely helps me shift my mindset. Now, everyday isn’t going to be all positive and that’s okay. But, journaling has definitely been a main staple in helping me shift my mindset and perception going into each day.

Sometimes for me, journaling can bring an idea for a blog post or social media post I can write about. It has given me business ideas, realization of dreams & aspirations. I like to let my journaling and what comes to surface dictate the flow of the day and where I want to really place my focus. For example, starting a new journal sparked the idea to write a post about how transformative journaling has been. 

Imagine where your life could be if you started journaling ASAP. Not to be dramatic, but your life could seriously change forever. You just never know. ❤

xx

A lot can happen in just ONE YEAR!

OCTOBER 2018 ➡️ OCTOBER 2019

One year ago I was 25 years old, still living at my parents house, looking at my 2 degrees and wondering why the heck I couldn’t get my life together. There’s no hopeless, frustrating feeling like staring at your Master’s degree, applying to all the jobs, revising your resume a million times, connecting with & contacting all the recruiters you can find on LinkedIn while making a whopping $0/month income, feeling like you’re getting nowhere.

You can see the stress and frustration on my face and in my body language. I looked at this picture right after I took it and knew that I had to make some changes. All I knew to do at the time was continue working on myself. That meant dragging myself out of bed early in the morning to get in a sweaty workout.

It’s almost coming up on one year (October 31/Halloween to be exact) that my mom gave me the crazy idea to start my own business. I was already helping my dad with their social media, so why not turn it into a business and help other small businesses as well? The wheels started turning. I told myself that if I ended up creating this business, that I would find a way to use my platforms to spread as much positivity and inspiration as I possibly could. I had no idea where the business was going to take me, but I knew this was going to be the start of something so life changing if I stuck to it. 

But, all things, whether it’s exciting or not, comes with various road blocks and frustrations. Over the last year, I’ve been able to create and accomplish things that I never even knew were possible for me. 

One year ago, I was confused, frustrated, overwhelmed, stressed and just wanted to get this thing called life figured out already. I was getting discouraged by seeing everyone else on social media seemingly landing prestigious jobs, buying houses, getting married, etc etc. I fell deep into “woe is me”, because that’s all I knew to do at the time. “Why is everyone else getting everything figured out except me? What am I doing wrong?”

My mom giving me the idea to start my own business ultimately lead to me to understanding that I am in complete control of getting my life where I want it to be. I had no idea what that meant for me, but I knew that I had to put my complete trust in my faith and the universe to guide me to where I’m supposed to be.

It meant taking chances and risks along the way so I could learn and continue to grow. 

Nearly ONE YEAR later and I can honestly tell you that I am in a completely different place than I was last year. It all started with working from the inside out. Believing in myself that I can do the thing that I never put thought into because I didn’t think I was capable of it. 

I hired a coach, put in the work, made mistakes, had mental breakdowns, experienced anxiety like I’ve never experienced before, connected with a whole bunch of awesome women, made investments, hired more coaches, curled up in a ball, cried some more, attended webinars, took notes, wanted to just throw in the towel at times and kept going.

Oh, I also moved out of my parents house into an apartment that I never thought I’d be able to afford. 

In the last couple months, I’ve felt an active calling to do more with my business. I’ve never known what people meant when they say they felt “called to do this/that”. But now I know exactly what those people are talking about. But, I had no idea what the universe was trying to tell me to do or how to even figure out what the heck I was supposed to do with this feeling. 

I’ve gotten comfortable with my social media management business and my current clients, but I started feeling like I needed to do MORE

I didn’t know what to do to figure this out, so I started reading. 

I’ve never been a big reader because reading usually puts me to sleep (lol). But, I honestly felt an active motivation & energy to pick up all the books I could find and start reading. I’d heard people talk about the You Are A Badass series by Jen Sincero, Everything Is Figureoutable by Marie Forleo and Best Self : Be You, Only Better by Mike Bayer.

So, I went to Amazon and ordered 5 books. 

  1. You Are A Badass: How to Stop Doubting Your Greatness and Start Living an Awesome Life by Jen Sincero

2. You Are a Badass at Making Money: Master the Mindset of Wealth by Jen Sincero

3. You Are a Badass Every Day: How to Keep Your Motivation Strong, Your Vibe High, and Your Quest for Transformation Unstoppable by Jen Sincero

4. Everything Is Figureoutable by Marie Forleo

5. Best Self: Be You, Only Better by Mike Bayer

I also went to various Facebook groups and asked for recommendations of what to do. I learned about the power of meditation and manifestation. I journaled. A lot. I now have a new fire and understanding that I have all the power in the world to create something super powerful and fulfilling. 

I’ve hired another coach and I am happy to be in the process of building ANOTHER BUSINESS. 

I told myself that I would create a platform for change, no matter where the journey decided to take me. When you understand your worth and the power you have, you can truly do anything with your life that you want to. As long as you don’t give up on yourself

There was one part of You Are A Badass: How To Stop Doubting Your Greatness And Start Living An Awesome Life by Jen Sincero that really stuck out to me. 

“Can you imagine if your favorite musicians never let themselves make enough money to buy guitars or take lessons or hire producers or buy purple platforms boots and tight sparkly pants or pay thousands of dollars for studio time so they could record the songs that saved your ass in high school? Or if the people who build airplanes refused to make the money they need to pay for the research and the materials and the factories and engineers and the electricity and whatever plethora of other costly things that go into building the miraculous flying machines that allow us to travel the world, hang out on tropical beaches, and visit the people we love so dearly?”

Just let that sink in for a second because this was so important for me to hear, I’ve read that paragraph many, many times. She’s talking about making investments and finding the money, but this also means that by not following your dreams & goals might mean not making the difference that you were supposed to make. There have been so many people throughout history that have made some incredible difference in the world. A difference that we are all reaping the benefits of every single day. Who says that can’t be you or I as well?


Over the last year, I’ve learned that sometimes the journey doesn’t look the same for everyone. We are all experiencing difficulties in our lives and obstacles that we are maybe a little bit ashamed of. But, if we can find the fire inside of us, we can truly make the difference that we were put on this earth to make. 

I truly believe that there’s more to life than just going to school, working until retirement, living for Friday and dreading Monday. What’s the point of that? With this new business that I’m creating, I hope that I can help empower & inspire others to understand their worth & reach their full potential. Stay tuned for more info! ❤

xo

Tips For When You’re Not Feeling Motivated

Not feeling motivated is REAL and it is FRUSTRATING! Knowing you have a lot to do but just can’t seem to get yourself to get it done can be just incredibly frustrating. But, what I’m learning is there’s no such thing as feeling motivated all.the.time. Even though it’s frustrating, I’m starting to learn what I can do to help myself work through feeling unmotivated. 

Below I have listed a couple of things that I have found to be helpful during the times that I don’t feel motivated to get work done. These are just little things that work for me, and don’t necessarily mean they will be helpful for anyone else. But, they might be worth a try if you are struggling and don’t know what to do, like I feel sometimes.

The main thing to understand is that you have to know yourself and what works best for you. What works for me, might not work for you and vice versa. You might work well under pressure, but I tend to crumble under pressure. These items might not work for you based on your personality and what works best for you.


Not force myself to try to get something done.

Especially if I was planning on writing a blog post or create content, I can’t force myself to be creative. Trying to force myself just makes me even more frustrated and feeling burnt out. So, this might mean holding off on that task or taking a step back for a little bit. For some people, they strive on pressure, but for me, I don’t work well AT.ALL. So, I can’t put that kind of pressure on myself and force myself because it just doesn’t work for me.

Journal/write down what’s on my mind.

Sometimes I can’t get something done because I have a lot on my mind. Journaling about what’s going on in my mind helps me get it out and clear my mind. Doing this sometimes also helps me come up with ideas that maybe I want to blog about or topics that I want to research more. It’s important to listen to your mind and your body and to be able to give it what it needs at that time. There’s nothing wrong with taking the time to journal to help you get everything out. I notice this to be prevalent if I’m really stressed about something, if I got into an argument, received some bad news, or even if I just need figured out what is going on in my mind. You would be very surprised what kinds of things come to surface when you journal. Things that you would not even expect. But, it might be exactly what you need to give you that motivation that you need to keep going and get work done like you wanted to.  

Going on a walk or just getting outside.

Sometimes just leaving the environment and getting outside helps. Like I mentioned above, just sitting at my desk trying to force myself to be creative and get something done doesn’t help me. So, stepping away and getting some fresh air sometime helps to at least settle my mind down a little bit. 

Giving myself the day off.

Feeling unmotivated can sometimes be a sign that your body is telling you something. That you need to take a break and rest. I’m a very emotional person. So, when I receive unexpected sad news, it can hard to get myself to concentrate. During these times I know I just need to give myself- my mind and body an break. It can also mean that I’ve been overworking myself and my mind a little bit too much and I need to sleep. So, I’ll let myself sleep in or lay down for an afternoon nap. There’s nothing wrong with giving yourself a personal/mental health day if you need to. I think that sometimes we think that we need to force ourselves to work during difficult times and try to work through these times when we really just need to take some time off. Listen to your mind & body and give yourself permission to take a day off if you need to. You might feel like you are going into the next day feeling more refreshed, relaxed and motivated than if you tried to force yourself to try to work.

Go to Pinterest & YouTube for inspiration.

I feel like I say this in every post, but it has helped me out so much. There’s been times when I spent an hour each day for a week or 2 watching YouTube videos of people who I look up to and get ideas and motivation from them. If I get a “light bulb” to go off in my head, I’ll write it down and what comes from it. Pinterest is also a good place to look because it is filled with people who have all kinds of ideas to try out! It’s helpful to learn from others who have done what you’re doing before and they might have ideas that you might not of thought about before. This doesn’t mean taking their ideas, but you never know what kind of “light bulb” moment you might have!

Brain dumping everything that I want to get done.

There’s been times when I am feeling like I have so much to do but just don’t know where to start. So, I’ll sit down and brain dump everything that I feel like I need to get done. There’s been times when I do this and realize that I’ve been overwhelmed for no reason. From there I’ll try to break down the tasks and come up with a reasonable plan for getting them done. This often mean breaking it down into work, getting a little bit done at a time. When I’m feeling unmotivated, I try to start with the “easy” tasks because that sometimes leads to getting more ideas and leads me to getting even more work done than I originally anticipated. If I try to start with harder, more time consuming tasks, I know that I just won’t get anything done. But, if I start small, I often find myself getting more and more motivated and gaining more and more ideas. 


It’s a process for sure and not feeling motivated is very frustrating to deal with, especially when you feel like you have so much to do and just want to be productive. For me, I’ve learned that I’ll get an idea and have all of this motivation, work myself to exhaustion then feel burnt out for a couple days. Then I have to figure out how to get motivated again. I’ve done this many times because I feel like I need to take advantage of all the motivation that I have. But, that’s just not a feasible way to go about it. We all need breaks and we need to make sure that we are being cautious of our brain power, our bodies and step away and take breaks!

The Importance of Self-Care

September is Self-Care Awareness Month! I had “Self-Care” on my list of blog topics that I wanted to talk about. When I saw that September was Self-Care Awareness month, I figured this would be the perfect time to have this chat about the importance of self-care. 

We all know that self-care is important, but how many people really take the time to focus on themselves? Self-care looks different for everybody because we are all different and need different things. 

Self-care doesn’t always have to be face masks and bubble baths if that’s not for you!

I truly have a passion for living a healthy balanced lifestyle and getting the most out of life. We all get caught up in day-to-day tasks and activities that sometimes we forget one important thing: self-care & making ourselves a priority. 

We all have non-negotiables that need to be present in our daily routine because when they aren’t present, things seem to get out of control. By “non-negotiable”, I mean, that one thing that you need present for your sanity. For me, my non-negotiable is working out, especially first thing in the morning. Once I figured this out and got myself on a consistent routine, this has been the ultimate game-changer for me.


A couple years ago, I was experiencing various stressors in my life. Things seemed all out of control and I couldn’t figure out how to get myself back on track. I was stressed, exhausted, overwhelmed, unsure and pretty unhappy with just about everything. I had started seeing my healthy habits disappearing. I was unmotivated to go to the gym, got lazy when it came to washing my face at night, I mean I did not want to do any of my healthy habits throughout the day. Which was weird because I’ve always been one to always have healthy habits in place. 

It wasn’t until I started going to the gym first thing in the morning that things started falling into place. Things started making more sense to me. The days that I don’t go to the gym or get some kind of exercise in, I feel all anxious and flustered all day. That’s when I realized that working out was my non-negotiable self-care ritual. 

Over the last year that I’ve been regularly on a workout schedule, I have slowly been able to implement other self-care habits into my day and see which ones work best for me. Since I’ve been experiencing many changes in my life recently, I’ve had a hard time with getting myself on a solid self-care routine. But, I am learning first-hand the importance of incorporating some self-care into your day and figuring out which ones are necessary for you. 

Along this journey so far, I’ve learned how hard it can be to let go of stressors in our daily life. Not be focusing on all the things that we don’t have and that we wish we had. For me, I noticed myself neglecting self-care when I was overwhelmed by stress and how unhappy I was. Which in turn lead me to feeling even more stressed and unhappy because I wasn’t taking care of myself. 

Sound familiar to anyone?

What I also had to learn is that I needed to choose myself and start making myself and my self-care a priority if I wanted all the stress to go away and to feel happy, I had to come first. It’s extremely hard to do when you are so far deep in the mental funk. What I learned is that making even the smallest changes goes a long way. 

What I also learned is that I would tell myself that I’m going to do all of the self-care things right away, all at once. Well, probably not surprising at all, it didn’t work. Which was very frustrating because its SELF-CARE, it should be making me happy, right?!

Meh… not really.

When we set unrealistic goals for ourselves, it can be frustrating and overwhelming because it’s not likely to be possible to achieve those things. Then, we get hard on ourselves when we don’t do the things we told ourselves that we would do. The things that we told ourselves to do became less of a self-care item and more of a chore. The last thing self-care should be is a chore.

Side note: why does self-care have to be so dang complicated?!

Instead of telling yourself,“I’m going to get to the gym 5 days this week, do face masks every day and meditate for 30 minutes twice a day” maybe make the goal to get outside for a 10-15 minute walk a couple days a week, do a face mask once a week and journal a couple times a week. If that. 

But, it’s important to do things that you love and make you feel good. 

Some ideas for self-care:

Take a bubble bath 

This is one of my favorite things and used to be something I did every Sunday night. Dimming the lights or just letting candles provide the light and putting on relaxing music. The apartment I just recently moved into doesn’t have a bath tub, which I’m really sad about but I try to take a long hot shower with lavendar essential oils. Not the same, but you have to work with what ya got!

Face scrubs & face masks. 

This is one thing that I have been really bad about but I love doing. I was getting lazy with even washing my face. But, there’s something relaxing and refreshing about giving your face (& body!) some extra TLC, especially right before bed!

Journaling.

Journaling can be one of the most therapeutic activities! I have recently re-incorporated journaling back into my morning and night routine and I have seen tremendous results. Journaling allows you to get all of your stressors and anything bothering you out of your subconscious mind so it’s not stuck there. Our natural tendency is to suppress hard or stressful things, but the subconscious doesn’t forget that it’s there. So, journaling is a great technique to use to talk about what’s going on in your life. Some questions to answer: What’s going well? What’s stressing you out? What’s holding you back? What are you feeling? What would make the day great? How did the day go? What went well? What could be improved?

I personally don’t like journal prompts, but I know some people find them very helpful. I find that just free writing and letting my mind guide the writing helps me a lot more. I try to write a full page in the morning and just brain dump everything that’s on my mind.

Meditation.

I have a love/hate relationship with meditation, but there are SO many benefits from it! Meditation is difficult at first, at least it is for me. It’s difficult to turn off your thoughts for some time. But, if that’s an issue for you, then maybe this is something that you need to help you quiet your mind. I’ve found adding in mediation into my morning and night routine has been very helpful in decreasing my stress and anxiety.

Tip: Start with 2-3 minutes once a day. If you try to start longer and more often, you might find that you get frustrated and end up not seeing mediation to be helpful for you. 

Affirmations. 

Have you noticed that you have very negative self-talk? Like “I’m so stupid”, “I’m a failure.”, “Why can’t I do anything right?” I noticed that too for a while. How we talk about ourselves and how we think about ourselves correlates with how we feel and how we show up for ourselves. If you keep telling yourself “I’m a failure” all the time, you can’t expect yourself to feel all that great about yourself. If you go into a situation thinking “I’m a failure”, you’re going to treat yourself and the situation like you’re a failure. 

It’s all about perception. Instead of constantly telling yourself “I’m a failure”,try saying “I am strong & capable of success”, “I am powerful”, “I will be successful”. Repeat affirmations everyday, write them on sticky notes, give yourself reminders. Trust me, it works wonders! Positive self-talk is incredibly important!

Take a break.

It is very easy to get caught up in daily tasks and being busy that we forget to slow down throughout the day. I find it helpful to take small breaks throughout the day to give my mind a rest. Take this time to do something that you enjoy and find refreshing and helpful. Maybe you take a break to read, journal, watch tv, get outside, etc. Especially if it’s a nice day, I’ve been trying to take 10 minutes to walk around outside to get some fresh air. 

Exercise.

As we all know, there are SO many positive benefits to exercise. There are of course physical benefits to working out, but more importantly, mental benefits as well. Try to make it a priority to get out and go on a walk/run, get to the gym a couple times a week, go on a bike ride, take a class, anything! Get your body moving!

Read.

Reading is a great way to calm your mind and relax. I’m not much of a reader, but when I do, I like to right before I go to bed. It makes me tired and calms my mind. Maybe reading can be a perfect addition to your night time routine!

Do something you love.

This seems like an obvious, but sometimes when we are too stressed, we neglect the things we love. Life gets in the way and you just forget about that hobby that makes you so happy. This can be anything. Maybe it drawing, painting, coloring, ceramics, building things, etc. 

Get outside.

Sometimes simply just being outside and getting fresh air can be incredibly refreshing. If you are someone that tends to stay inside in your office all day, maybe getting outside for even just a 10-15 minute break might be helpful and refreshing!

Get a Massage .

Massages can be a bit pricey, so this might be a every-once-in-a-while splurge on your self-care. But, if it’s in your budget, don’t be afraid to take it the extra mile and treat yo self- you deserve it!

Treat Yourself to a Mani/pedi

Similar to getting a massage, don’t be afraid to treat yo self! I very rarely go to a salon to get my nails done. But, sometimes it’s nice to splurge a little bit and get a little pampered!

Go to Therapy.

As someone with a psychology background, I whole-heartedly believe in the benefits of talk therapy. Of course, this is something that not everyone has access to. Even just talking about what’s going on to family/friends if you are feeling stressed out. I find talk therapy to be helpful because it gets everything off of your chest so you’re not keeping everything bottled up inside. This can bring up lots of emotions, which can be hard and uncomfortable to deal with in the moment. But, the end result makes you feel so much more relieved to have all of the extra weight off of your shoulders! 

Make plans with a friend.

Again, being overly busy can make it hard to make friendships a priority. But, it always feels good to catch up with a friend that you haven’t seen in a while. I encourage you to contact a couple friends you haven’t seen in a while and make plans throughout the month or in the near future! 

Go Shopping.

OK retail therapy is not for me. Shopping tends to stress me out more than it makes me feel refreshed. Although, there is something to say about buying yourself a new outfit to wear that you feel real good in! 

Take yourself to see a movie.

Again, movies aren’t really my thing. While I enjoy them, I don’t ever think to do this. But, if you are someone that really enjoys movies, then this is a great one for you! Take yourself to see that movie that you’ve been wanting to see! Or spend a Friday/Saturday night in for a movie night (this is what I would be more likely to do!). Make yourself a bowl of popcorn, grab a glass of wine and a comfy blanket and you are good to go! Sounds amazing, doesn’t it?! 


The list is endless! It’s important to do what makes you feel happy and refreshed. Whatever you need! I encourage you and challenge you to pick a couple things to do every day this month for self-care. They say it takes three weeks  to form a habit! So, by the end of the month you might have developed a self-care routine habit that you will carry with you even after September ends!

So, what self-care activities are you committing to trying this month?!

Getting through a quarter life crisis

IMG_4870Do you celebrate yourself & your accomplishments on your birthday? I love birthdays for many reasons because I think it is a GREAT excuse to celebrate yourself! Today is my 26th birthday & I have SO much to celebrate! The very first thing that I want to celebrate is officially being out of my early twenties. I’ve mentioned this many times before, but I pretty much describe the disfunction of my early twenties as a quarter life crisis. The feeling of being on the other side and finally  moving in a positive direction is an amazing feeling! So, today I want to take the time to not only celebrate myself & my accomplishments, but I also want to explain how I worked through this time in my life to get to the other side. If you are going through this time in your life- this post is for you! ❤

Blog- Quarter Life Crisis

Ah, the quarter life crisis.

It was something that I never really thought was a “real” thing. I just thought it was a phrase that people my age threw around & joked about. But, here’s the thing, I now whole-heartedly believe that it’s a real thing now. Your twenties can be a confusing time as you are figuring things out, adjusting to the “real world”, learning about yourself & where you are supposed to be in this world. I think time is a blessing in disguise, a necessary time meant to happen so you can experience some form of hardship, learn & keep moving forward.

I think it’s also important to understand that this looks different for everyone. What might be hard for me, or anyone one else, doesn’t mean it will necessarily be for the next person. I remember feeling bad for feeling down about where I was in life, guilty about having these harsh feelings towards where I was in life. I now know that this is completely normal.

I also think this can come at different times in life for different people & can also look different for everyone. It’s important to not compare one’s experiences to your own & try to base normalcy off of others. For me, my “Quarter Life Crisis” appeared from 22-25. The thing is, on paper, on social media, I “looked” happy & life “looked” like I had everything together. I had a job right out of college in my field with good benefits, I moved out of my parent’s house 5 months after graduating from college & was mostly financially independent, I got into a relationship—seems ideal, right? But, I was miserable. I was unmotivated. I was confused. I was frustrated.

Why am I not happy? I have everything I should ever need/want at this point?

This is what I believe now to have been an a quarter life crisis. Things didn’t make sense, I was confused, I didn’t know what to do, I was unhappy. So, I HAD to embark on a journey of self-discovery to get to where I am today. A quarter-life crisis doesn’t sound all that positive, but trust me, there’s a silver lining- more importantly, there’s a purpose for it.

This time in my life pushed me out of my comfort zone, forced me to figure out more about myself, become stronger & more empowered, start living the life I’ve always wanted to live. It literally needed to happen, because I would not be where I am today if it wasn’t for the experience. If you are going through a hard time in your life, a quarter life crisis, where you don’t know what’s going on & you just feel lost & confused- it’s OK- great things are about to happen. Trust me.

Now, after 2.5 years living back at home  with my parents, getting myself back on my own two feet, I’m moved into a beautiful apartment, in a wonderful relationship with my amazing boyfriend, started my own business working from home & truly enjoying every single day. If it wasn’t for this experience, I would not be in this position. I would not be where I am today, I would not be this happy.

I truly want you to get through any obstacles, road blocks, hard times like I did. It is possible & I am going to tell you my main tips for getting through this time. Like I’ve mentioned before, these times look different for everyone, what might’ve worked for me might not work for you. But, I do think some of these tips could be implemented in some way, shape or form for everyone.

What I did to overcome the quarter life crisis


 Focused on myself

This might seem cliché, but taking care of ourselves is often the first thing we forget to focus on during stressful times. I remember the time where I felt like everything had fallen apart and nothing about my life I was satisfied about. I felt like I had worked so hard and wasn’t getting anywhere.

I knew that if I wanted things to be different, then I had to take actionable steps to actually making that change. I wanted to embark on a mind, body, soul journey and really start taking care of myself. I started journaling, going on morning walks, eating better, getting on a workout schedule, signing up for yoga classes, making plans with friends. You know what truly makes you happy. Even if in the moment, you don’t necessarily desire those things at the moment, but making small goals each day to reincorporate those things could be super helpful.

I let myself feel emotions as they occurred 

Do you ever go through a rollercoaster of emotions, where you feel angry, upset, frustrated? Do you beat yourself up for having those feelings? The thing is, you can’t help what emotions come up. If they come up, they are there for a reason. It’s OK to feel angry or upset. Let yourself deal with the emotions as they arise. For me, I noticed that I would feel better after I just let myself feel. There’s nothing wrong with that, but we often want to avoid those negative emotions because they are uncomfortable in the moment. Just remember not to beat yourself up about it.

Talked to people

We often try to bottle up our emotions and not talk about what’s really going on. You can journal all you want, but sometimes you really need to talk to another human. Multiple humans. The best place to go is your family and friends who truly care about you and are there with active listening ears. You can even go to counseling if you need it & it fits into your schedule & budget.

Talking it out also helps you release your emotions & even get advice from others. When you talk to an outside source, they might be able to provide you with ideas that you never even thought of. In talking to people, you might even get a connection from them for you to reach out to and help you along your journey. The more people you talk to and connect with, the better.

BUT, it’s also important to not go into information overload. Know when you are getting too much conflicting information, but take on as many opportunities that come your way from this piece of advice.

Stopped putting so much pressure on myself

I had put so much pressure on myself to get things together, that I could not even focus on the task at hand. The more pressure I put on myself, the further in the hole I seemed to get. Then, I would get even more stressed & frustrated that I couldn’t even focus on anything else or take care of myself.

When I got fired from my job, that’s when I just stopped putting pressure on myself. I was emotionally exhausted and I was done feeling that way. Seriously, the moment I stopped putting that pressure on myself & started focusing on myself, things started falling into place. Some people work better under pressure & that’s completely fine. You have to adjust to what works best for you. Sometimes you have to go through these situations to really learn about yourself.

I never gave up

When times get hard & it seems like nothing you do is working, it’s can be super easy to just give up. What’s the point? When the track record isn’t very good, it’s very hard to continue to stay motivated. You can work as hard as you want, but I believe the most important thing to remember is not to give up on yourself! You can take all the advice & when it seems like nothing is working, it is very easy to get discouraged. This time usually means an incredible breakthrough is coming. It’s unknown when it will happen, but this time is necessary for all of the amazing things that are coming your way.


Like I’ve mentioned, our experiences are all different. My experience might be different from yours & vice versa, & what you need to get through it might be different from mine. I think the main thing to remember is not to give up on yourself & take it one day at a time. Let yourself feel all the feelings as the come, knowing they are there for a reason. If you keep going, keep learning & keep giving yourself permission to go through this experience your will get through it!- Blissfully Jess2

 

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Who do you workout for?

The new year is a time when people make resolutions, usually having to do with enhancing their lives in some way. As known, one of the most common New Year’s Resolution is to go to the gym and get in shape. But, what about a resolution to NOT go to the gym?

Going to the gym & getting in shape should be done to feel better about yourself, and enhance your overall well-being. Fitness can have so many positive mental & physical impacts, but a recent conversation with a friend completely baffled me & inspired me.

A couple weeks ago I was having a conversation said friend and they (I’m choosing to keep them completely anonymous) said something to me that really got me thinking. This is the gist of how the conversation went:

Friend: “My goal for 2019 is to not go to the gym at all this year”

Me: *confused* …“what?”

Friend: “Yeah, I started to realize that I was going to the gym to look good for others, not to make myself feel better.”

To be honest, I was in a state of shock. But after a while, I started thinking about how powerful and inspiring that is. “I started to realize that I was going to the gym to look good for others, not to make myself feel better.” First and foremost, I am so proud of my friend for acknowledging the fact they were doing something to impress someone else, not for themselves. Making a decision to do something that is completely opposite of the norm because you realized you are doing it for all the wrong reasons is so powerful. Seriously! Going to the gym should be about YOU! It never occurred to me to think about it this way.

After thinking about it for some time, it made me realize that I needed to take a step back and make sure I am doing things for myself, not for others. Actually, I think we all need to take a moment to stop and think about whether we are doing things for no other reason than for ourselves.

*To clarify: I am talking about “things” related to self-care. Like, working out, in this scenario.

Working out is such a great way to improve our overall physical & mental health, but we have to make sure we are doing it for all the right reasons.

 Ask yourself these questions:

Are you working out to impress someone?

Are you working out to look good for someone else?

Are you working out to post a gym selfie on Instagram?

OR

Are you working out to get in shape & feel good about yourself? 

Especially with social media being so powerful, we are always cautious about what others are thinking of us. We want to post the most beautiful images of ourselves & are constantly worried about what others will think. But, at the end of the day, we do need to make sure that we are taking care of ourselves, taking a mental break from looking good for others and make sure we are truly taking care of our well-being.

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For me, fitness has completely changed my life in so many ways. I feel so much more confident & happy and I can’t imagine letting go of my workout routine. The last time I did that, I fell into some serious mental health issues. But, for me, I decided to get back into the gym for myself. It’s something I use for self-care & something I identify with!

While I still believe that health & fitness is important, this recent conversation has left we thinking about it in a whole different perspective. It made me really think about making sure I am making these decisions for myself, rather than for the acceptance of others.

While social acceptance is a human necessity, I do think we all as a society could start thinking more about our mental health as well. In my personal experiences, when I start taking care of myself & my mental health, social acceptance follows.

So let me ask you this…

Are you really doing things, like working out, for yourself or for others?

- Blissfully Jess2

Gaining confidence to be my true, authentic self

Growth happens outside of the comfort zone.

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I’ve always been painfully shy, easily embarrassed & incredibly worried about what other people thought of me. It’s a natural instinct because we all need social acceptance. I used to just hide in my own little shell, because that where I felt I was safe. Safe from any potential judgement from anyone. No fear of making a fool out of myself. But there have definitely been times when I wished I was less shy & introverted & more naturally outgoing. I wished I was able to put myself out there and achieve what they were doing. They made it seem so effortless.

What if I make a fool out of myself? What if I fail miserably? What if nobody cares what I have to say?

Finding yourself and figuring out your purpose can be a very difficult journey. Everyone’s journey is different, but that’s what makes it so special. Like a lot of people, my confidence was super low, especially in high school. I didn’t realize how low it was until I got to college. That’s when I started coming out of my shell and starting to get myself out there more and more. Over the last couple years, the most important thing I’ve learned is that wishing wasn’t going to help me achieve my goals. Less wishing more doing. I started actively doing things that purposely put me out of my comfort zone.

Since personal growth happens outside of the comfort zone.

Of course, it started working & I slowly started gaining more confidence & ultimately accept who I am. Which is great, I’ve learned a lot and grown  A LOT. But, it wasn’t until this last year that I actually realized what was holding me back. While I was gaining confidence, I still had this feeling in the back of my head that I just didn’t have what it took to do exactly what I wanted to do to reach my goals. But, I was holding myself back because I was so worried about what others would think. Why would anyone care what I have to say? What if I completely embarrass myself & make a fool out of myself?

What I realized, eventually, is that I was letting the potential negative opinions of others control my own thoughts about myself. I finally got to a point where I had to come to the realization that this fear of potential failure & falling flat on my face in complete embarrassment was really the only thing holding me back. Yes, I’m super shy and anxious, but that doesn’t mean I don’t have the “personality”. I needed to realize that I needed to take the control back for myself. To realize that I’m the only one that is completely in control of my own life & the path that I decide to take for myself. I still wish I wasn’t so anxious all the time, but I am definitely proud of myself for taking the necessary steps to getting to this point. I still have a long way to go, but boy have I come a long way.

Ever since I launched my business and started writing blogs, I’ve had such an incredible response. I finally let go of the potential negative outcome and negative reactions that I just let myself do what I wanted, how I wanted. What I have learned is: people care. It has seriously taken a long, sometimes painful, road to get to this point of discovery. But, it’s true and it feels so good to finally have that weight lifted off my shoulders.

I no longer think to myself, “wow, I wish I was more like that” because I have realized that I am truly the only one holding myself back. I’ve heard a lot of success stories that come from people who work hard and take really risky chances. Staying in your comfort zone is only going to provide you with mediocre results, ultimately keeping you from living life to the absolute fullest. Life can be tricky & social media can make things a lot harder for people to find their confidence. We are more connected than ever & it is so easy to compare ourselves. “Wow, I wish I looked like her”, “Her life seems so perfect”.

There are still times when I have those “Oh crap, what have I done?” moments where I get this thought in my mind that I really have made a fool out of myself. I still get those moments where I think I need to retract back to my shell and my comfort zone & stop trying to put myself out there. But, I have to keep reminding myself why I have done this in the first place. There have been times in the past where I have given into my own negative self-talk & have retracted back to my comfort zone, where I know I am safe. But, I won’t let myself do that this time, because I know where my potential is. You never know your potential & what could happen, unless you try. But, you have to remember to keep going. Keep moving forward.

The most important thing that I’ve learned this past year, especially in the last 6 months or so, is how much of my life is in my control. It is so easy to look at the big picture and to think that it is completely impossible, but we have to realize what is in our control. That has seriously been a game changer for me! It seems like something so simple, but I know that a lot of people go through this as well & I hope that I can provide at least some inspiration to let your guard down & start living the life you’ve always wanted.

I encourage every single person reading this to start doing little things to get yourself out there, out of your comfort zone. To start living the life you’ve always wanted. I’m not saying big things, just small little changes that you can start doing today to help makes this possible. You are the only person that is in control of your own life! 

We are all learning & growing every single day. Amazing things can happen, if we keeping working towards letting go of potential negative outcomes & start becoming our true, authentic selves. Now, let’s all get out there & start living our best lives! 💖

- Blissfully Jess2