Do you celebrate yourself & your accomplishments on your birthday? I love birthdays for many reasons because I think it is a GREAT excuse to celebrate yourself! Today is my 26th birthday & I have SO much to celebrate! The very first thing that I want to celebrate is officially being out of my early twenties. I’ve mentioned this many times before, but I pretty much describe the disfunction of my early twenties as a quarter life crisis. The feeling of being on the other side and finally moving in a positive direction is an amazing feeling! So, today I want to take the time to not only celebrate myself & my accomplishments, but I also want to explain how I worked through this time in my life to get to the other side. If you are going through this time in your life- this post is for you! ❤
Ah, the quarter life crisis.
It was something that I never really thought was a “real” thing. I just thought it was a phrase that people my age threw around & joked about. But, here’s the thing, I now whole-heartedly believe that it’s a real thing now. Your twenties can be a confusing time as you are figuring things out, adjusting to the “real world”, learning about yourself & where you are supposed to be in this world. I think time is a blessing in disguise, a necessary time meant to happen so you can experience some form of hardship, learn & keep moving forward.
I think it’s also important to understand that this looks different for everyone. What might be hard for me, or anyone one else, doesn’t mean it will necessarily be for the next person. I remember feeling bad for feeling down about where I was in life, guilty about having these harsh feelings towards where I was in life. I now know that this is completely normal.
I also think this can come at different times in life for different people & can also look different for everyone. It’s important to not compare one’s experiences to your own & try to base normalcy off of others. For me, my “Quarter Life Crisis” appeared from 22-25. The thing is, on paper, on social media, I “looked” happy & life “looked” like I had everything together. I had a job right out of college in my field with good benefits, I moved out of my parent’s house 5 months after graduating from college & was mostly financially independent, I got into a relationship—seems ideal, right? But, I was miserable. I was unmotivated. I was confused. I was frustrated.
Why am I not happy? I have everything I should ever need/want at this point?
This is what I believe now to have been an a quarter life crisis. Things didn’t make sense, I was confused, I didn’t know what to do, I was unhappy. So, I HAD to embark on a journey of self-discovery to get to where I am today. A quarter-life crisis doesn’t sound all that positive, but trust me, there’s a silver lining- more importantly, there’s a purpose for it.
This time in my life pushed me out of my comfort zone, forced me to figure out more about myself, become stronger & more empowered, start living the life I’ve always wanted to live (read more in my post about Gaining confidence to be my true, authentic self). It literally needed to happen, because I would not be where I am today if it wasn’t for the experience. If you are going through a hard time in your life, a quarter life crisis, where you don’t know what’s going on & you just feel lost & confused- it’s OK- great things are about to happen. Trust me.
Now, after 2.5 years living back at home with my parents, getting myself back on my own two feet, I’m moved into a beautiful apartment, in a wonderful relationship with my amazing boyfriend, started my own business working from home & truly enjoying every single day. If it wasn’t for this experience, I would not be in this position. I would not be where I am today, I would not be this happy.
I truly want you to get through any obstacles, road blocks, hard times like I did. Even how Getting Fired Was The Best Thing to Happen To Me. It is possible & I am going to tell you my main tips for getting through this time. Like I’ve mentioned before, these times look different for everyone, what might’ve worked for me might not work for you. But, I do think some of these tips could be implemented in some way, shape or form for everyone.
What I did to overcome the quarter life crisis
Focused on myself
This might seem cliché, but taking care of ourselves is often the first thing we forget to focus on during stressful times. I remember the time where I felt like everything had fallen apart and nothing about my life I was satisfied about. I felt like I had worked so hard and wasn’t getting anywhere.
I knew that if I wanted things to be different, then I had to take actionable steps to actually making that change. I wanted to embark on a mind, body, soul journey and really start taking care of myself. I started journaling, going on morning walks, eating better, getting on a workout schedule, signing up for yoga classes, making plans with friends (I talk more about this in my posts about The Importance of Self-Care, The Power of Journaling and A lot can happen in just ONE YEAR!). You know what truly makes you happy. Even if in the moment, you don’t necessarily desire those things at the moment, but making small goals each day to reincorporate those things could be super helpful.
I let myself feel emotions as they occurred
Do you ever go through a rollercoaster of emotions, where you feel angry, upset, frustrated? Do you beat yourself up for having those feelings? The thing is, you can’t help what emotions come up. If they come up, they are there for a reason. It’s OK to feel angry or upset. Let yourself deal with the emotions as they arise. For me, I noticed that I would feel better after I just let myself feel. There’s nothing wrong with that, but we often want to avoid those negative emotions because they are uncomfortable in the moment. Just remember not to beat yourself up about it.
Talked to people
We often try to bottle up our emotions and not talk about what’s really going on. You can journal all you want, but sometimes you really need to talk to another human. Multiple humans. The best place to go is your family and friends who truly care about you and are there with active listening ears. You can even go to counseling if you need it & it fits into your schedule & budget.
Talking it out also helps you release your emotions & even get advice from others. When you talk to an outside source, they might be able to provide you with ideas that you never even thought of. In talking to people, you might even get a connection from them for you to reach out to and help you along your journey. The more people you talk to and connect with, the better.
BUT, it’s also important to not go into information overload. Know when you are getting too much conflicting information, but take on as many opportunities that come your way from this piece of advice.
Stopped putting so much pressure on myself
I had put so much pressure on myself to get things together, that I could not even focus on the task at hand. The more pressure I put on myself, the further in the hole I seemed to get. Then, I would get even more stressed & frustrated that I couldn’t even focus on anything else or take care of myself.
When I got fired from my job, that’s when I just stopped putting pressure on myself. I was emotionally exhausted and I was done feeling that way. Seriously, the moment I stopped putting that pressure on myself & started focusing on myself, things started falling into place. Some people work better under pressure & that’s completely fine. You have to adjust to what works best for you. Sometimes you have to go through these situations to really learn about yourself.
I never gave up
When times get hard & it seems like nothing you do is working, it’s can be super easy to just give up. What’s the point? When the track record isn’t very good, it’s very hard to continue to stay motivated. You can work as hard as you want, but I believe the most important thing to remember is not to give up on yourself! You can take all the advice & when it seems like nothing is working, it is very easy to get discouraged. This time usually means an incredible breakthrough is coming. It’s unknown when it will happen, but this time is necessary for all of the amazing things that are coming your way.
Like I’ve mentioned, our experiences are all different. My experience might be different from yours & vice versa, & what you need to get through it might be different from mine. I think the main thing to remember is not to give up on yourself & take it one day at a time. Let yourself feel all the feelings as the come, knowing they are there for a reason. If you keep going, keep learning & keep giving yourself permission to go through this experience your will get through it!
xx,
-Jess
