Inspiration – Page 2 – Blissfully jess

My 7 Tips For Falling Asleep

A couple years ago, I was experiencing a difficult time in my life and with that came many sleepless nights. I remember laying in bed most nights, exhausted, but also wide awake. I was emotionally drained and could not get myself together, it seemed. Some nights I would toss and turn and would get about 3 hours of sleep per night. I was exhausted, but still couldn’t figure out how to make it better.

*I am not a trained professional, all of my tips are simply from personal experience and what worked for me.

I’ve always been someone that enjoyed falling asleep while watching TV. I knew that people said that it’s not a good idea to do this, but it never bothered before, so I didn’t see any problems with it. It worked for me until I went through the difficult time in my life when I was having a hard time sleeping. After struggling to sleep for a while, I decided that it was time to start researching & implementing some techniques to try out.

After doing some research online and getting some guidance from my counselor, I figured out several techniques that I could implement to help me fall asleep at night. Alas! I found a list of things to do that helps me sleep at night! So, I want to share them all with you. Nobody likes to toss and turn at night!

This might seem excessive to some people, but I actually try to give myself a good hour before I want to “fall asleep”. Giving yourself time to wind down & get your mind and body ready to fall asleep is super helpful.

Here are a list of things that I try to pull from every night. I hope some of these tips help you too!

Turning off electronics an hour before bed (Phone, computer, TV)

Like a lot of people, I have always enjoyed laying in bed, watching TV until my eyes get sleepy and about to fall asleep. I also got into a habit of doing some social media scrolling at the same time as well. But, when I started having a hard time falling asleep, I was experiencing some extreme anxiety and those things started to not help me out at all. I know a lot of people mention turning off electronics, but watching TV & scrolling really did help me out in terms of helping me fall asleep (so I thought).

So, I started turning off my TV and stop scrolling an hour before I go to bed. I’m not perfect and don’t always follow this, but when I do, it definitely helps being able to refocus and start calming my mind down. However, I know that some people actually enjoy watching TV right before bed and find it to be incredibly relaxing. Whatever works for you! But, if you start noticing constant struggle to fall asleep, I would recommend at least giving this a try!

Melatonin

About an hour before I go to bed, I usually take 3-6g of melatonin. This is just a natural remedy to help you naturally fall asleep. I personally love melatonin because it helps me fall asleep, but it doesn’t make me feel all groggy the next morning. When I take a sleep aid, I can sometimes feel all groggy and half asleep if I didn’t get enough sleep for the sleep aid to wear off. Right now, I am enjoying the Nature Made Melatonin.

Essential Oil Diffuser

I absolutely love my essential oil diffuser! An hour before bed, I also like to turn on my essential oil diffuser. There’s something so relaxing about diffusing lavender/eucalyptus/ tea tree oil to calm your mind. I have mine sitting right next to my bed on my night stand. I love climbing into bed with relaxing aroma already there, mmmm allll the calming feels right there!

The oil that I like to use is Pure Aroma because it comes in a package that contains allll of the oils that I like to use on a daily basis. I usually always have one package in my amazon cart because I know that I’m going to need a refill!

If you don’t have an essential oil diffuser yet, I would recommend getting one that comes with some oils to get you started, like this one. That way you can test out which oils you really like so you know which ones you would like to get a refill on.

Bubble bath/hot shower

One of my favorite things to do to wind down on a Sunday night is to take a relaxing bubble bath! I like to fill the tub with lavender bubble bath and bath salts. Light a couple candles, play relaxing music and soak for about 20 minutes or so. In my new apartment, I don’t have a bath tub (bummer), but I will sometimes take a hot shower before bed. Not exactly the same in my opinion, but it will have to do for now!

Reading

Reading is one of those activities that I really love, but I sometimes have a hard time getting myself to settle down with a good book. Instead of turning on TV to help me fall asleep, I started picking up a book and reading while in bed. Reading has been the perfect way for me to really calm my mind down and lets me naturally get sleepy. Sometimes I can only make it a couple pages before I have to turn off the lights. Recently, I’ve really enjoyed reading You Are A Badass How to Stop Doubting Your Greatness and Start Living an Awesome Life by Jen Sincero and Everything is Figureoutable by Marie Forleo.

Journaling

We’ve all heard about the major benefits of journaling. Maybe you are rolling your eyes at this point because you’ve heard it so much. Some nights I find myself talking myself out of it, but I’ve been trying to be better about it. Just picking up a journal and a pen and writing about your day- things that went well and what didn’t go so well. It really, REALLY helps to get everything out of your head and onto paper. Even starting off with a couple sentences every night might help to make it a habit. You never know what you might discover! It definitely helps getting everything out so it doesn’t sit on your subconscious.

Meditation

Ahhh, meditation. I personally have a love/hate relationship with meditation because I’m still really bad at it. I’ve been trying to make this a daily habit for a couple years now and it’s one of those things that takes some (lots) time to master. But, when I do practice meditation, I notice how much more relaxed and calm my mind is. Even if it’s just listening to calming music, rather than a guided meditation. Just a couple of minutes can work wonders! I do recommend getting some guided meditation apps on your phone to try out nightly. Most of them have free options so you don’t have to commit to monthly payments if you don’t think that you’ll need that kind of investment. Some guided meditation apps that I like are Sanvello, Calm & Simple Habit.

There you have it! Those are my 7 tips for helping with sleepless nights. I don’t do allll of them every single night. But, they have all helped in my journey to sleeping better. Nightly, I try to at least take melatonin, set my essential oil diffuser, journal & read.

Give these tips a try and let me know if any of them helped!

A lot can happen in just ONE YEAR!

OCTOBER 2018 ➡️ OCTOBER 2019

One year ago I was 25 years old, still living at my parents house, looking at my 2 degrees and wondering why the heck I couldn’t get my life together. There’s no hopeless, frustrating feeling like staring at your Master’s degree, applying to all the jobs, revising your resume a million times, connecting with & contacting all the recruiters you can find on LinkedIn while making a whopping $0/month income, feeling like you’re getting nowhere.

You can see the stress and frustration on my face and in my body language. I looked at this picture right after I took it and knew that I had to make some changes. All I knew to do at the time was continue working on myself. That meant dragging myself out of bed early in the morning to get in a sweaty workout.

It’s almost coming up on one year (October 31/Halloween to be exact) that my mom gave me the crazy idea to start my own business. I was already helping my dad with their social media, so why not turn it into a business and help other small businesses as well? The wheels started turning. I told myself that if I ended up creating this business, that I would find a way to use my platforms to spread as much positivity and inspiration as I possibly could. I had no idea where the business was going to take me, but I knew this was going to be the start of something so life changing if I stuck to it.

But, all things, whether it’s exciting or not, comes with various road blocks and frustrations. Over the last year, I’ve been able to create and accomplish things that I never even knew were possible for me.

One year ago, I was confused, frustrated, overwhelmed, stressed and just wanted to get this thing called life figured out already. I was getting discouraged by seeing everyone else on social media seemingly landing prestigious jobs, buying houses, getting married, etc etc. I fell deep into “woe is me”, because that’s all I knew to do at the time. “Why is everyone else getting everything figured out except me? What am I doing wrong?”

My mom giving me the idea to start my own business ultimately lead to me to understanding that I am in complete control of getting my life where I want it to be. I had no idea what that meant for me, but I knew that I had to put my complete trust in my faith and the universe to guide me to where I’m supposed to be.

It meant taking chances and risks along the way so I could learn and continue to grow.

Nearly ONE YEAR later and I can honestly tell you that I am in a completely different place than I was last year. It all started with working from the inside out. Believing in myself that I can do the thing that I never put thought into because I didn’t think I was capable of it.

I hired a coach, put in the work, made mistakes, had mental breakdowns, experienced anxiety like I’ve never experienced before, connected with a whole bunch of awesome women, made investments, hired more coaches, curled up in a ball, cried some more, attended webinars, took notes, wanted to just throw in the towel at times and kept going.

Oh, I also moved out of my parents house into an apartment that I never thought I’d be able to afford.

In the last couple months, I’ve felt an active calling to do more with my business. I’ve never known what people meant when they say they felt “called to do this/that”. But now I know exactly what those people are talking about. But, I had no idea what the universe was trying to tell me to do or how to even figure out what the heck I was supposed to do with this feeling.

I’ve gotten comfortable with my social media management business and my current clients, but I started feeling like I needed to do MORE.

I didn’t know what to do to figure this out, so I started reading.

I’ve never been a big reader because reading usually puts me to sleep (lol). But, I honestly felt an active motivation & energy to pick up all the books I could find and start reading. I’d heard people talk about the You Are A Badass series by Jen Sincero, Everything Is Figureoutable by Marie Forleo and Best Self : Be You, Only Better by Mike Bayer.

So, I went to Amazon and ordered 5 books.

You Are A Badass: How to Stop Doubting Your Greatness and Start Living an Awesome Life by Jen Sincero

2. You Are a Badass at Making Money: Master the Mindset of Wealth by Jen Sincero

3. You Are a Badass Every Day: How to Keep Your Motivation Strong, Your Vibe High, and Your Quest for Transformation Unstoppable by Jen Sincero

4. Everything Is Figureoutable by Marie Forleo

5. Best Self: Be You, Only Better by Mike Bayer

I also went to various Facebook groups and asked for recommendations of what to do. I learned about the power of meditation and manifestation. I journaled. A lot. I now have a new fire and understanding that I have all the power in the world to create something super powerful and fulfilling.

I’ve hired another coach and I am happy to be in the process of building ANOTHER BUSINESS.

I told myself that I would create a platform for change, no matter where the journey decided to take me. When you understand your worth and the power you have, you can truly do anything with your life that you want to. As long as you don’t give up on yourself.

There was one part of You Are A Badass: How To Stop Doubting Your Greatness And Start Living An Awesome Life by Jen Sincero that really stuck out to me.

“Can you imagine if your favorite musicians never let themselves make enough money to buy guitars or take lessons or hire producers or buy purple platforms boots and tight sparkly pants or pay thousands of dollars for studio time so they could record the songs that saved your ass in high school? Or if the people who build airplanes refused to make the money they need to pay for the research and the materials and the factories and engineers and the electricity and whatever plethora of other costly things that go into building the miraculous flying machines that allow us to travel the world, hang out on tropical beaches, and visit the people we love so dearly?”

Just let that sink in for a second because this was so important for me to hear, I’ve read that paragraph many, many times. She’s talking about making investments and finding the money, but this also means that by not following your dreams & goals might mean not making the difference that you were supposed to make. There have been so many people throughout history that have made some incredible difference in the world. A difference that we are all reaping the benefits of every single day. Who says that can’t be you or I as well?

Over the last year, I’ve learned that sometimes the journey doesn’t look the same for everyone. We are all experiencing difficulties in our lives and obstacles that we are maybe a little bit ashamed of. But, if we can find the fire inside of us, we can truly make the difference that we were put on this earth to make.

I truly believe that there’s more to life than just going to school, working until retirement, living for Friday and dreading Monday. What’s the point of that? With this new business that I’m creating, I hope that I can help empower & inspire others to understand their worth & reach their full potential. Stay tuned for more info! ❤

Tips For When You’re Not Feeling Motivated

Not feeling motivated is REAL and it is FRUSTRATING! Knowing you have a lot to do but just can’t seem to get yourself to get it done can be just incredibly frustrating. But, what I’m learning is there’s no such thing as feeling motivated all.the.time. Even though it’s frustrating, I’m starting to learn what I can do to help myself work through feeling unmotivated.

Below I have listed a couple of things that I have found to be helpful during the times that I don’t feel motivated to get work done. These are just little things that work for me, and don’t necessarily mean they will be helpful for anyone else. But, they might be worth a try if you are struggling and don’t know what to do, like I feel sometimes.

The main thing to understand is that you have to know yourself and what works best for you. What works for me, might not work for you and vice versa. You might work well under pressure, but I tend to crumble under pressure. These items might not work for you based on your personality and what works best for you.

**Not force myself to try to get something done.**

Especially if I was planning on writing a blog post or create content, I can’t force myself to be creative. Trying to force myself just makes me even more frustrated and feeling burnt out. So, this might mean holding off on that task or taking a step back for a little bit. For some people, they strive on pressure, but for me, I don’t work well AT.ALL. So, I can’t put that kind of pressure on myself and force myself because it just doesn’t work for me.

Journal/write down what’s on my mind.

Sometimes I can’t get something done because I have a lot on my mind. Journaling about what’s going on in my mind helps me get it out and clear my mind. Doing this sometimes also helps me come up with ideas that maybe I want to blog about or topics that I want to research more. It’s important to listen to your mind and your body and to be able to give it what it needs at that time. There’s nothing wrong with taking the time to journal to help you get everything out. I notice this to be prevalent if I’m really stressed about something, if I got into an argument, received some bad news, or even if I just need figured out what is going on in my mind. You would be very surprised what kinds of things come to surface when you journal. Things that you would not even expect. But, it might be exactly what you need to give you that motivation that you need to keep going and get work done like you wanted to.

Going on a walk or just getting outside.

Sometimes just leaving the environment and getting outside helps. Like I mentioned above, just sitting at my desk trying to force myself to be creative and get something done doesn’t help me. So, stepping away and getting some fresh air sometime helps to at least settle my mind down a little bit.

Giving myself the day off.

Feeling unmotivated can sometimes be a sign that your body is telling you something. That you need to take a break and rest. I’m a very emotional person. So, when I receive unexpected sad news, it can hard to get myself to concentrate. During these times I know I just need to give myself- my mind and body an break. It can also mean that I’ve been overworking myself and my mind a little bit too much and I need to sleep. So, I’ll let myself sleep in or lay down for an afternoon nap. There’s nothing wrong with giving yourself a personal/mental health day if you need to. I think that sometimes we think that we need to force ourselves to work during difficult times and try to work through these times when we really just need to take some time off. Listen to your mind & body and give yourself permission to take a day off if you need to. You might feel like you are going into the next day feeling more refreshed, relaxed and motivated than if you tried to force yourself to try to work.

Go to Pinterest & YouTube for inspiration.

I feel like I say this in every post, but it has helped me out so much. There’s been times when I spent an hour each day for a week or 2 watching YouTube videos of people who I look up to and get ideas and motivation from them. If I get a “light bulb” to go off in my head, I’ll write it down and what comes from it. Pinterest is also a good place to look because it is filled with people who have all kinds of ideas to try out! It’s helpful to learn from others who have done what you’re doing before and they might have ideas that you might not of thought about before. This doesn’t mean taking their ideas, but you never know what kind of “light bulb” moment you might have!

Brain dumping everything that I want to get done.

There’s been times when I am feeling like I have so much to do but just don’t know where to start. So, I’ll sit down and brain dump everything that I feel like I need to get done. There’s been times when I do this and realize that I’ve been overwhelmed for no reason. From there I’ll try to break down the tasks and come up with a reasonable plan for getting them done. This often mean breaking it down into work, getting a little bit done at a time. When I’m feeling unmotivated, I try to start with the “easy” tasks because that sometimes leads to getting more ideas and leads me to getting even more work done than I originally anticipated. If I try to start with harder, more time consuming tasks, I know that I just won’t get anything done. But, if I start small, I often find myself getting more and more motivated and gaining more and more ideas.

It’s a process for sure and not feeling motivated is very frustrating to deal with, especially when you feel like you have so much to do and just want to be productive. For me, I’ve learned that I’ll get an idea and have all of this motivation, work myself to exhaustion then feel burnt out for a couple days. Then I have to figure out how to get motivated again. I’ve done this many times because I feel like I need to take advantage of all the motivation that I have. But, that’s just not a feasible way to go about it. We all need breaks and we need to make sure that we are being cautious of our brain power, our bodies and step away and take breaks!

What I Learned About Adjusting To Change

If you are anything like me, change- whether it’s exciting or not- comes with an adjustment period. I’m very routine-oriented. I rely very heavily on my daily routines & when it’s disrupted in some way, I feel kind of all off-centered. Even if I’m doing the same routine in a different place, the feeling is different and it comes with a new experience that I have to adjust to. Even if it’s something exciting, that I’ve been waiting so long for and overly excited about. For me, all changes come with some form of a transition period.

My daily routine has been disrupted many times over the last couple years and I haven’t been handling it very well, to be honest. Some have been good changes, others not so much. Even with those good changes, it came with an adjustment period that I wasn’t expecting.

But, change is good. While it can be frustrating, it is good. It means growth is happening. Change also means that I’m getting out of the comfort zone. Which, I don’t like. But, the whole theme of 2019 for me has been getting out of my comfort zone and challenging myself.

The most prevalent adjustment has been the change in my daily schedule. In the last couple years, I’ve had to adjust from a full-time job, part-time job + school, 3 different jobs and working from home while starting my own business. So, you can tell my schedule has completely changed many times.

Then I had to experienced change again when I moved out of my parent’s house for the first time in 2.5 years into my beautiful apartment. I literally moved just 3 miles away, and it was something that I had been waiting for for so long. Even though I work my butt off to get there and was excited to move out, I immediately started feeling off. I felt an odd feeling in my stomach, like something was wrong. I couldn’t focus and everything just seemed off. Even though I was doing the exact same thing, just in a different place. It really didn’t make much sense to me.

During this transition into my apartment, it was almost like everything seemed to be changing and shifting. Like, a new chapter opening and I felt like I needed to make changes to just about everything. I was starting to feel overwhelmed. Overwhelmed with the stress that comes with starting my own business and figuring things out, as well as adjusting to my new environment. All of which are good things, but for some reason, I just had such a hard time getting my schedule figured out.

Before I moved out, I felt like I had myself on a pretty consistent schedule. I was getting comfortable and felt like I was starting to get things figured out. Moving out made me second guess everything I was doing in my business. I was getting a feeling like I needed to make some changes. But, I didn’t know how or where to start.

I’m still learning every single day how to adjust better and to be accepting of this change in my life. It’s inevitable and necessary for growth. But, slowly but surely, I’m starting to get closer to fully adjusting to this change and figuring out my new schedule.

So, what have I done to help myself adjust to change?

First, I had to learn to be nice to myself and try not to get frustrated when I didn’t have the answers right away.

Change for me is frustrating. Like I’ve already mentioned, when my routine is disrupted and things start to not work like they used to, it’s frustrating. But, I have come to learn to be nicer to myself and to try not to get overwhelmed. With everything, I’ve noticed that it all starts with being nicer to myself. I have to be able to allow myself to go through the adjustment period. At the end of the day, it ultimately means that growth is happening and something bigger and better is on the other side. If I fall into the trap of beating myself up, I just won’t end up getting anywhere. Everything is a learning experience.

I started testing out different things in my schedule to see what works best.

Since I’m changing, and my schedule is changing, things are going to look a little bit differently. The flexibility in my schedule is nice and it can be hard to figure out when it’s best for me to work on different tasks. This included what days/time of days works best for doing different tasks and even chores.

A big example of this was when I would do what used to be my “weekend chores”. I noticed that I was wanting to use my weekends mostly for relaxing, rather than prepping. I used to use my Sunday’s to do alllll of the chores. Grocery shopping, laundry, cleaning, prepping, etc. But, I started to notice that I was just getting exhausted and felt tired going into the next week. So, I started testing doing certain chores Thursday & Friday so I didn’t have to do it all over the weekend. It’s actually working!

I went back to my parent’s house when I needed/wanted to.

I had a hard time figuring out if this was a necessary thing to do at first. I was used to living with my parents for so long and actually missed being around them when I moved out. When I first moved out, I didn’t know what to do. So, I started going back home pretty much everyday since I only moved 3 miles down the street. This was also when the weather was getting nice and both my cat and I wanted to be outside.

Going back to this normalcy helped me tremendously. I had such a hard time adjusting to being in my apartment all the time and couldn’t get any work done. Some might think that’s pretty sad, but it’s just how I am I guess. I’m very much a homebody as well and need to be close to my family at all times. The first week I was going home in the morning and that has changed to the afternoon. Over the summer, I wanted to be able to spend the afternoon outside and sometimes by the pool because my parents have a pool. So, going back to my parent’s house in the morning changed to working at my apartment in the morning and spending the afternoon at my parents house. Now, I don’t necessarily feel like I need to go back to my parent’s house in the afternoon’s. But, it has been a nice option to be able to work there if I want to.

I did research into what other people were doing.

I’m a big advocate for doing this kind of research. This helped me to see that I wasn’t the only one struggling in this way and also to see exactly what others were doing. It can be difficult to figure it out on your own, so it can be helpful to get some ideas from others who have done it themselves. I typically went to Pinterest & YouTube!

Started trying not to be as rigid with my schedule.

This is hard for me since I am very routine-oriented. But, as I am learning, change is inevitable. After going through all this change the last couple years, I have learned that I need to be more open to letting it happening. To be able to change my mindset and perception to be able to let change in. Not to mention the unexpected occurrences that can happen. If I don’t have time to get something done on a certain day, I have to be able to let myself move that task around without letting it completely overwhelm me. It’s just a part of the journey!

Still, change will always come with some resistance. I think that’s normal and there will always be an adjustment period. With all the changes that have come my way, I have ultimately been able to learn, grow and be better prepared to adjust in the future. I am still learning about my schedule and what works for me, but that will come with time.

For now, I’m starting to let myself enjoy where I am in life right now. We are all learning everyday. I hope this post helped someone who is struggling with some kind of adjustment to change. It can be hard, but it is possible! 💗

The Importance of Self-Care

September is Self-Care Awareness Month! I had “Self-Care” on my list of blog topics that I wanted to talk about. When I saw that September was Self-Care Awareness month, I figured this would be the perfect time to have this chat about the importance of self-care.

We all know that self-care is important, but how many people really take the time to focus on themselves? Self-care looks different for everybody because we are all different and need different things.

Self-care doesn’t always have to be face masks and bubble baths if that’s not for you!

I truly have a passion for living a healthy balanced lifestyle and getting the most out of life. We all get caught up in day-to-day tasks and activities that sometimes we forget one important thing: self-care & making ourselves a priority.

We all have non-negotiables that need to be present in our daily routine because when they aren’t present, things seem to get out of control. By “non-negotiable”, I mean, that one thing that you need present for your sanity. For me, my non-negotiable is working out, especially first thing in the morning. Once I figured this out and got myself on a consistent routine, this has been the ultimate game-changer for me.

A couple years ago, I was experiencing various stressors in my life. Things seemed all out of control and I couldn’t figure out how to get myself back on track. I was stressed, exhausted, overwhelmed, unsure and pretty unhappy with just about everything. I had started seeing my healthy habits disappearing. I was unmotivated to go to the gym, got lazy when it came to washing my face at night, I mean I did not want to do any of my healthy habits throughout the day. Which was weird because I’ve always been one to always have healthy habits in place.

It wasn’t until I started going to the gym first thing in the morning that things started falling into place. Things started making more sense to me. The days that I don’t go to the gym or get some kind of exercise in, I feel all anxious and flustered all day. That’s when I realized that working out was my non-negotiable self-care ritual.

Over the last year that I’ve been regularly on a workout schedule, I have slowly been able to implement other self-care habits into my day and see which ones work best for me. Since I’ve been experiencing many changes in my life recently, I’ve had a hard time with getting myself on a solid self-care routine. But, I am learning first-hand the importance of incorporating some self-care into your day and figuring out which ones are necessary for you.

Along this journey so far, I’ve learned how hard it can be to let go of stressors in our daily life. Not be focusing on all the things that we don’t have and that we wish we had. For me, I noticed myself neglecting self-care when I was overwhelmed by stress and how unhappy I was. Which in turn lead me to feeling even more stressed and unhappy because I wasn’t taking care of myself.

Sound familiar to anyone?

What I also had to learn is that I needed to choose myself and start making myself and my self-care a priority if I wanted all the stress to go away and to feel happy, I had to come first. It’s extremely hard to do when you are so far deep in the mental funk. What I learned is that making even the smallest changes goes a long way.

What I also learned is that I would tell myself that I’m going to do all of the self-care things right away, all at once. Well, probably not surprising at all, it didn’t work. Which was very frustrating because its SELF-CARE, it should be making me happy, right?!

Meh… not really.

When we set unrealistic goals for ourselves, it can be frustrating and overwhelming because it’s not likely to be possible to achieve those things. Then, we get hard on ourselves when we don’t do the things we told ourselves that we would do. The things that we told ourselves to do became less of a self-care item and more of a chore. The last thing self-care should be is a chore.

Side note: why does self-care have to be so dang complicated?!

Instead of telling yourself,“I’m going to get to the gym 5 days this week, do face masks every day and meditate for 30 minutes twice a day” maybe make the goal to get outside for a 10-15 minute walk a couple days a week, do a face mask once a week and journal a couple times a week. If that.

But, it’s important to do things that you love and make you feel good.

Some ideas for self-care:

Take a bubble bath

This is one of my favorite things and used to be something I did every Sunday night. Dimming the lights or just letting candles provide the light and putting on relaxing music. The apartment I just recently moved into doesn’t have a bath tub, which I’m really sad about but I try to take a long hot shower with lavendar essential oils. Not the same, but you have to work with what ya got!

Face scrubs & face masks.

This is one thing that I have been really bad about but I love doing. I was getting lazy with even washing my face. But, there’s something relaxing and refreshing about giving your face (& body!) some extra TLC, especially right before bed!

Journaling.

Journaling can be one of the most therapeutic activities! I have recently re-incorporated journaling back into my morning and night routine and I have seen tremendous results. Journaling allows you to get all of your stressors and anything bothering you out of your subconscious mind so it’s not stuck there. Our natural tendency is to suppress hard or stressful things, but the subconscious doesn’t forget that it’s there. So, journaling is a great technique to use to talk about what’s going on in your life. Some questions to answer: What’s going well? What’s stressing you out? What’s holding you back? What are you feeling? What would make the day great? How did the day go? What went well? What could be improved?

I personally don’t like journal prompts, but I know some people find them very helpful. I find that just free writing and letting my mind guide the writing helps me a lot more. I try to write a full page in the morning and just brain dump everything that’s on my mind.

Meditation.

I have a love/hate relationship with meditation, but there are SO many benefits from it! Meditation is difficult at first, at least it is for me. It’s difficult to turn off your thoughts for some time. But, if that’s an issue for you, then maybe this is something that you need to help you quiet your mind. I’ve found adding in mediation into my morning and night routine has been very helpful in decreasing my stress and anxiety.

Tip: Start with 2-3 minutes once a day. If you try to start longer and more often, you might find that you get frustrated and end up not seeing mediation to be helpful for you.

Affirmations.

Have you noticed that you have very negative self-talk? Like “I’m so stupid”, “I’m a failure.”, “Why can’t I do anything right?” I noticed that too for a while. How we talk about ourselves and how we think about ourselves correlates with how we feel and how we show up for ourselves. If you keep telling yourself “I’m a failure” all the time, you can’t expect yourself to feel all that great about yourself. If you go into a situation thinking “I’m a failure”, you’re going to treat yourself and the situation like you’re a failure.

It’s all about perception. Instead of constantly telling yourself “I’m a failure”,try saying “I am strong & capable of success”, “I am powerful”, “I will be successful”. Repeat affirmations everyday, write them on sticky notes, give yourself reminders. Trust me, it works wonders! Positive self-talk is incredibly important!

Take a break.

It is very easy to get caught up in daily tasks and being busy that we forget to slow down throughout the day. I find it helpful to take small breaks throughout the day to give my mind a rest. Take this time to do something that you enjoy and find refreshing and helpful. Maybe you take a break to read, journal, watch tv, get outside, etc. Especially if it’s a nice day, I’ve been trying to take 10 minutes to walk around outside to get some fresh air.

Exercise.

As we all know, there are SO many positive benefits to exercise. There are of course physical benefits to working out, but more importantly, mental benefits as well. Try to make it a priority to get out and go on a walk/run, get to the gym a couple times a week, go on a bike ride, take a class, anything! Get your body moving!

Read.

Reading is a great way to calm your mind and relax. I’m not much of a reader, but when I do, I like to right before I go to bed. It makes me tired and calms my mind. Maybe reading can be a perfect addition to your night time routine!

Do something you love.

This seems like an obvious, but sometimes when we are too stressed, we neglect the things we love. Life gets in the way and you just forget about that hobby that makes you so happy. This can be anything. Maybe it drawing, painting, coloring, ceramics, building things, etc.

Get outside.

Sometimes simply just being outside and getting fresh air can be incredibly refreshing. If you are someone that tends to stay inside in your office all day, maybe getting outside for even just a 10-15 minute break might be helpful and refreshing!

Get a Massage .

Massages can be a bit pricey, so this might be a every-once-in-a-while splurge on your self-care. But, if it’s in your budget, don’t be afraid to take it the extra mile and treat yo self- you deserve it!

Treat Yourself to a Mani/pedi

Similar to getting a massage, don’t be afraid to treat yo self! I very rarely go to a salon to get my nails done. But, sometimes it’s nice to splurge a little bit and get a little pampered!

Go to Therapy.

As someone with a psychology background, I whole-heartedly believe in the benefits of talk therapy. Of course, this is something that not everyone has access to. Even just talking about what’s going on to family/friends if you are feeling stressed out. I find talk therapy to be helpful because it gets everything off of your chest so you’re not keeping everything bottled up inside. This can bring up lots of emotions, which can be hard and uncomfortable to deal with in the moment. But, the end result makes you feel so much more relieved to have all of the extra weight off of your shoulders!

Make plans with a friend.

Again, being overly busy can make it hard to make friendships a priority. But, it always feels good to catch up with a friend that you haven’t seen in a while. I encourage you to contact a couple friends you haven’t seen in a while and make plans throughout the month or in the near future!

Go Shopping.

OK retail therapy is not for me. Shopping tends to stress me out more than it makes me feel refreshed. Although, there is something to say about buying yourself a new outfit to wear that you feel real good in!

Take yourself to see a movie.

Again, movies aren’t really my thing. While I enjoy them, I don’t ever think to do this. But, if you are someone that really enjoys movies, then this is a great one for you! Take yourself to see that movie that you’ve been wanting to see! Or spend a Friday/Saturday night in for a movie night (this is what I would be more likely to do!). Make yourself a bowl of popcorn, grab a glass of wine and a comfy blanket and you are good to go! Sounds amazing, doesn’t it?!

The list is endless! It’s important to do what makes you feel happy and refreshed. Whatever you need! I encourage you and challenge you to pick a couple things to do every day this month for self-care. They say it takes three weeks to form a habit! So, by the end of the month you might have developed a self-care routine habit that you will carry with you even after September ends!

So, what self-care activities are you committing to trying this month?!

What I learned from unplugging

Sometimes when we put too much pressure on ourselves, it can be overwhelming. This can also lead to exhaustion, stress, lack of motivation and decreased creativity. It’s frustrating because all you want to do is be productive. But, sometimes all you need is to take break from everything. Over the last couple months, I’ve been experiencing quite a few changes- although good changes, they’ve been a little overwhelming. While these changes were happening, I also felt like it was time to make some changes to my business plan. While it was an exciting thought, it made me even more overwhelmed. I felt like I always had to be “on” and I didn’t know exactly how to approach these changes that I wanted to make.

I spent some time completely away from posting on social media, revisiting my plan and trying new things. But, everything that I tried, I didn’t see the results I was hoping to see. This ultimately lead me to feeling even more overwhelmed and pretty discouraged. This feeling of being discouraged ultimately lead me to feel lack of motivation.

Sound familiar?

So, over the past couple months, I’ve been taking a step back from my own social media accounts- a little unplugging, if you will. I wasn’t expecting it to be as long as it ended up being, but I felt like it was the best thing for me and my business. I didn’t want to just post something on social media, acting like everything was completely fine and I was feeling like everything was “together”. These moments are definitely necessary because it always, always means that an incredible breakthrough is about to happen. It’s very uncomfortable in the moment, but knowing there was something incredible on the other side is what kept me going.

Rather than stressing myself out about needing to constantly be making posts, I took a step back and began observing. Most people feel like they need to “unplug” from scrolling and seeing others posts, but that’s what I felt like I needed. I needed inspiration and I needed to see how others were handling themselves. Seems a bit odd, I know. Building your own business is absolutely incredible because you get to use all of your talents and expertise to build something amazing. But, it’s also challenging because how exactly are you supposed to do that? There were SO MANY things that I wanted to do with my business. I knew that my abilities and capabilities were much more than I knew what to do with at the moment. I was on the brink of something amazing, but I didn’t know how to get there!

I also had to understand that this is just a part of the journey.

By the time July came around, I was experiencing mixed emotions from being super proud of where I’ve come over the past year (which you can read about here) to feeling extreme overwhelm. So, I spent A LOT of time on YouTube, Pinterest, Instagram and really paying attention to those email subscriptions I have. I observed how other online entrepreneurs handle themselves and their schedules. I absolutely admire those who are able to handle so many things on their plate and do so many amazing things with their business. I wanted to be that person so bad.

We put so much pressure on ourselves, which can actually be a good thing. But, without necessary precautions, it can lead to burnout. Which I started experiencing quite a bit in the first six months of business. There’s so much that I wanted to do and I wanted to be successful so badly I was willing to do anything to get there.

Unplugging from my own accounts for a few months helped me tremendously. I was able to completely focus on my client’s profiles and use the extra time to rest. Watching YouTube videos and reading other blog posts helped slowly make my vision more clear. I took notes and started thinking about how I could possibly make changes and incorporate the various tips into my own business. Doing this also made me feel like I wasn’t alone in this journey.

During this time, I also realized that I wanted and needed to make some (bigger) investments in my business to keep moving forward. I spent A LOT of money on various services that would help me more efficiently show up and run my business.

Then, I started to come up with a game plan to implement those things that I wanted to accomplish in my business. Slowly, I started gaining that clarity that I was longing for. That sense of passion for what I was doing slowly started coming back. In just a couple weeks, I went from feeling completely overwhelmed and unsure if I had what it takes to run this business to gaining the most clarity I’ve experienced yet.

The main turning point?

After weeks of seeking inspiration, I decided to pick up my camera to gather content.

I started gathering more content for my business, as well as my clients. I felt the sense of passion rush right back to me. In gathering content, I started getting all kinds of ideas for my business, blog posts, videos, etc. I kept gathering content and kept a running list of these ideas.

The passion is back and I am working on even more incredible content than I was before. Slowly, I’m building this business that I never even thought to dream of.

All of this happened just because I decided to unplug for a while. Unplugging will look different for everyone. But, it’s necessary for everyone. For me, it took taking a step back and observing others around me. Letting myself feel the emotions as the came to the surface, especially the ones that were extremely overwhelming, and slowly starting to get myself back into the game.

During this time, I also noticed that a lot of other entrepreneurs talk about doing the same thing. Often we feel like we are the only ones going through specific hard times because it looks like everyone has it completely together. But, we all need it. Our brains need it. Our body needs it. Our business needs it.

I have a new approach to running this business now. I have a content calendar for blogs, videos and posts and I am ready to crush this journey!

Unplugging can be hard. It can be hard to get yourself to just stop for some time while you gain some clarity. With it can come with confusion, frustration in yourself for not being able to keep going. We’re all learning, we’re all growing. It doesn’t stop. But, unplugging when you need it just might be exactly what you need to keep moving forward.

I actually wrote this post a month prior and had it scheduled to be posted a month prior. It was a week before I was going on vacation and I thought it would be the perfect time to introduce some things and start my blogging schedule. The day before I planned to launch everything, I realized that I needed to take my unplugging even further. So, I decided to hold off until I got back from vacation. I needed the week to completely turn everything off before I got overwhelmed.

So, that’s exactly what I did. I decided to give myself an extra couple weeks to unplug [even more] and get everything planned out so I didn’t get overwhelmed. During my time away on vacation, I learned a lot about the importance of completely taking a break, which I will write a post about very soon!

Make sure you take the time off and unplug when you need to! Do you let yourself unplug and give yourself time away when you need to?

My Fitness Journey | Choosing Yourself First

“You haven’t been yourself in about 2-3 years” is what my mom said to me a year ago. We were having a conversation about possible depression and seeing my doctor to get on an antidepressant. I didn’t have health insurance at the time, so we were trying to figure out how I was going to pay for the doctor visit, as well as the medication. I was a mess, my mental health was a mess.

I had just started a job that I thought was my “big break” I was looking for to get my career off the ground. I was trying to convince myself that I enjoyed this job, but I really didn’t. I hated it and wasn’t good at it, at all. I would pack a gym bag to go to the gym right after work, but would talk myself out of actually going because I was “too tired”. I really felt like I wasn’t in control of anything. Although, I tried. I would go home after work and try to figure out how to be better at this job. When I was with my boyfriend, I was thinking of this job, I would get to the office early to try to prepare better for the day. I really wanted to make this work and was willing to do anything to make it happen. The stress of my career was literally taking control of everything.

On Friday July 6, 2018, I walked into work and was immediately brought into an office and was fired at 6:45am. I was half relieved because the job was horrible, but half confused because I had no idea what I was going to do next. How was I supposed to expect an employer to hire me when I had 3 jobs in 6 months & fired from the last one after 5 weeks?

That same day just happened to be the Annual Memorial Golf Scramble I volunteer at yearly. I looked at the pictures we took and immediately realized that I needed to start taking care of myself better. I really didn’t “look” that bad, but I could tell how unhappy I was and crumbling under my own pressure to pull myself together & failing at every attempt. I was exhausted and putting on a smile to try to convince myself & others that I was completely fine. I wasn’t taking care of myself AT. ALL. I was lost & didn’t know what to do, or which way to go.

On Monday, July 9, 2018, I woke up without a job to go to for the first time in YEARS. It was a feeling that I was unsure to do with because I was exhausted, tired of trying to prove myself & my abilities to Corporate America. I knew I had a lot of potential, but was running out of ideas and options. I wasn’t sure where I was going to go next, but I knew I had to keep going in the only way I knew how- start taking care of myself and my mental health.

So, I went to the gym.

In making the decision to take actionable steps to take care of myself first, I have:
– learned how to love myself again
– worked out on a consistent schedule
– gained a healthy relationship with food
– started my own business
– started waking up with purpose every day
– moved out of my parents house (finally!)
– connected with amazing people
– become, really really happy
*I also no longer felt like I needed to be on an antidepressant.

NOW WHAT?

So, I woke up that day, exactly one year ago, and drug myself to the gym, with a commitment to myself. A commitment to turn this negative thing into a life changing experience, and that’s exactly what I did. I didn’t have a plan for my career, or anything for that matter. But, I knew that if I wanted anything to come together, I had to take control of the one thing I had complete control over: myself.

This moment was the first time since college that the chaos in my mind completely stopped. After everything, I had no desire to look for a job. It sounds weird, I had lost my trust in corporate jobs. I was frustrated at the fact that I had to prove myself to a company, leave a paycheck & benefits, for them to let me go whenever it was convenient for them.

I was lucky enough to still be living with my parents, so I had the security and stability to be able to take the time to figure things out. My dad had an (unpaid) opportunity for me at his startup business. I decided to give it a try, there was nothing I had to lose really. This was the time where I really had to understand that I had to take on every single opportunity that came my way. I really didn’t care what it was, I just had to take advantage of everything.

The crazy thing is, the moment I stopped actively looking for opportunities, is the exact time when opportunities started coming to me. I had gotten myself on a exercise routine, making better food choices, taking care of myself and that’s when things started falling into place. I would not change a single part of my journey because every experience had lead me to where I am today. Those experiences will still continue to evolve, and I can’t wait to see what comes next.

WHAT I’VE LEARNED

We are taught to work hard and keep working towards your goals, right? That’s exactly what I tried to do and I ended up running myself into the ground. It’s not my fault- I was just doing what I thought I needed to do. I was working hard towards a goal that wasn’t meant for me. I’m not the only one who has done this, right?

But, these moments are meant to happen and are necessary for success and growth. The best thing I did in my time of confusion, was to start taking care of myself. If you have chaos in your mind like I did, things will start coming together when you calm your mind. It sounds cliché, but it’s so true!

Take every situation, good or bad, as an opportunity to keep growing and getting better. I had always heard that those “bad” moments are a sign that an incredible breakthrough is about to happen. I wish there was a magic piece of advice that I could give. It’s hard and uncomfortable, but I promise something amazing is about to happen! I had absolutely no idea that getting fired would lead me to starting my own business and working from home. But, I’m so happy that it did.

The best thing you can do in a time of chaos and confusion is start taking actionable steps towards taking care of yourself. I had no idea that stepping into the gym one year ago would be the start of the most amazing journey. I had no idea all of these amazing possibilities that are waiting for me and I know there’s so much more to come. 💗🙏🏼 I’m truly living my life- not just going through the motions of the day and hating everything & everybody.