Bad things happen all the time. We hear bad news that just really throws things off & it can be incredibly frustrating & discouraging. What’s important to understand is that your mindset is a powerful tool. It’s going to be what ultimately helps you get through this time.
Have you ever thought about how a particular situation might be the best thing to happen to you?
Often, there’s a learning experience in these situations. They are brought into your life in a way to disrupt your current path, because it’s not the path that you’re meant to be on. It can be difficult to see the silver lining in some situations because they just seem so unfair & you’re not sure how you can ever pinpoint something positive. But, I don’t want this situation to control you so I want to help you to start uncovering some of the things that might help you work through this time.
I understand the power of mindset very well because getting fired from the job I thought was my “big break” in my career actually ended up being the best thing to happen to me. It completely threw me off the path I was on and honestly, I am incredibly grateful for it now.
The truth is, I now understand that I was completely overwhelmed because the job was not a good fit at all. I overworked myself trying to make myself good at the job. But, I wasn’t. I was so engulfed in trying to get my professional career off the ground, I was completely risking my mental health. But, I was okay with it because I knew that you have to start somewhere, especially at the bottom. I knew that I had to work through the discomfort before getting to where I wanted to be. So, I kept going and kept trying. Even when I wasn’t at work, I spent every waking minute trying to figure out how I could be better at the job.
I got so overwhelmed & had completely abandoned all of my daily self-care habits. I got to a point where I felt like I was getting depressed again. I didn’t have health insurance because I was waiting for my new insurance to kick in. So, I was trying to figure out how I was going to pay out of pocket to see my doctor and get on meds.
Then, at the end of my 5th week on the job, I was brought into the office around 6:45am and they fired me. I had to pack up my desk into my purse, while the other employees around me just watched me while I was in complete embarrassment. I rushed out the door with my tail between my legs, and haven’t been the same since. That moment ended up being the turning point in my life. While it was a difficult & painful situation, it turned out to be the best thing that could’ve happened to me at the time.
I wanted to share my story with you because I want you to see & understand how you can turn a difficult situation into something positive & empowering. Getting fired was very difficult at first, but it led me to starting my own business & getting myself on the right path.
I always believe that there is a silver lining in situations, even the ones that are painful & difficult to navigate. Sometime they are brought into our lives to disrupt the path we are currently on so it will allow us to move towards the direction you are really meant to go.
I wanted to lay out some tips for you because I know how difficult & painful some situations can be, but I want you to be able to start thinking of some of them in a different way.
So, if you are finding yourself in the middle of a difficult situation, here are some tips that can help you shift your mindset & turn something painful into something powerful. Even if you want to keep this post in your back pocket in the event that sh*t hits the fan, because it will. You can’t always control what happens, but you can control how you handle it and move forward. So, I want you to have these tips ready for you whenever you need them!
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ALLOW YOURSELF TO PROCESS THE SITUATION.
These situations can be hard to deal with. They comes with intense emotions, high stress & it can be very difficult to figure out what you need to do next in order to move forward.
While it may hard to do, it’s important to give yourself the time & space to process what is going on. Your body might go into “fight or flight” mode at first and it can be very difficult to try to get yourself to slow down.
It’s important to listen to your body & allow yourself to go through the process of working through those feelings.
It might be hard to allow yourself to go through the process, without trying to avoid any part of the process. But, I really just want to emphasize the importance of allowing yourself to go through this process because it’s the very first step in being able to allow yourself to move forward.
Sometimes, these situations make us feel frantic, like we need to figure something out IMMEDIATELY. Of course, there’s some situations where you need to take immediate action before you can allow yourself to process the situation. Like, getting your credit card stolen, for example-you should probably get those cards shut down before anything else. But, once you get those things figured out, give yourself time to sit with the information and process it.
Allow those emotions to flow. When those emotions start flowing….
ALLOW YOURSELF TO FEEL ALL OF THE EMOTIONS.
With difficult situations, it is understandable to go through a whole wave of emotions. You might feel sad, then angry, then sad again. You might feel unmotivated or discouraged. It’s completely normal & natural. It might even feel like you are going through the stages of grief.
Don’t try to avoid these feeling and suppress them because it’s only going to make things worse. Ultimately, it’s going to make the whole process take a lot longer. Allow yourself to cry if you feel like you need to, scream into a pillow. Write in a journal about what is going on, talk to someone. Whatever you feel like you need to do to release those emotions, make sure you do it!
Related: The Power of Journaling
When I got my credit card stolen, I went through a whole wave of emotions. It was like I was going through the entire grief process, but it was something I needed to happen in order for me to be able to move forward. If I just suppressed those emotions, I would be in a much worse place.
So, allow yourself to process the situation & release those emotions!
WHAT CAN I GET FROM THIS SITUATION?
It’s important to go through the process of allowing yourself to process the situation & feel the emotions first. It might take some time, maybe a couple days. But the next step is thinking about what you can get out of this situation.
Related: How to improve your mindset
It can be hard to just sit and think about how hard the situation is but I truly believe that everything happens for a reason and there’s a learning experience & growth opportunity attached to each painful situation. These can be seen as “blessings in disguise” because they are hidden in those painful situations.
So, now it’s time to think about what opportunities this is bringing up for you.
- What doors are being opened that weren’t open before?
- What opportunities can come from this situation?
If you would like a resource, I highly recommend checking out Everything Is Figureoutable by Marie Forleo. This book revolves around the phrase, “Everything Is Figureoutable”. Meaning, no matter where you are in life, what situation you are currently in, no matter how sucky or sad, it is figureoutable.
This situation can either control you & ultimately destroy you, or you can let it guide you to your next destination. Which one is it going to be for you?
FOCUS ON WHAT YOU CAN CONTROL.
It can be hard, but it’s really important that you understand & focus on the things that you can control about the situation. You can’t control that it happened, you can’t change anything, but you can control what you do moving forward.
This is a really great example of why I think it’s so important to journal. Journaling is a great exercise for making sense of these kinds of situations. To help you unravel the information that is inside of this situation & will ultimately help guide you to where you are meant to go next.
I know that this situation is probably really hard on you. It’s probably weighing heavy on your conscious & just something that seems to be constantly on your mind. It’s hard. There’s no way around that and I completely understand that but I don’t want this situation to completely control you and take over your life. It doesn’t have to be this way.
Start working through this situation & start thinking about what in your life, in your power you can still control about the situation. When you start seeing & understanding what you are in control of & the opportunities that can arise, it’s an incredibly POWERFUL & EMPOWERING feeling.
If you would like someone to talk to, I do offer 1:1 coaching and invite you to check out my opportunities if that is something that you would be interested in. Click here for more information on my 1:1 coaching opportunities! <3
>> click here to download my 5 tips for crushing your goals
>> click here to download my self care planning worksheet
>> click here to download my 50 journal prompts for self reflection & self discovery
I’m here for you & would love to support you in any way that I can!
Coach Jessie Shibko