How to improve your mindset

So… what is mindset & why it is so important?

Your mindset is your perception & your view of certain situations. It’s connected to your energy, so, the things that you focus on can directly influence how you are feeling mentally, emotionally & physically. It can also influence the way that you are able to view yourself & the opportunities that are right in front of you. Your mindset can either bring you down, or help you in moving forward & getting the most out of life.

As humans, we tend to naturally gravitate towards a negative mindset. We are able to see the negatives more easily than the positives & it ultimately influences how we show up for ourselves & in our lives. 

Being able to improve your mindset & what you focus on can quite literally change your life. It can open up your eyes to opportunities that are right in front of you & energetically make you feel better about yourself. For that reason, I truly believe that mindset is everything because it literally dictates everything, how you perceive yourself + the world & various situations.

Here’s the important thing to understand- having a positive mindset doesn’t mean being able to see every single thing positively. Rather, it’s about being able to adjust. It’s about creating an awareness around where you are focusing your energy & understanding yourself on a different level. Since we are all different, we tend to need different things & have different ways that we prefer to handle certain situations. 

Related: Adjusting your mindset when bad things happen

In digging deep & understanding yourself on a different level & understanding the different simple mindset shifts that you can make on a daily basis, you can really start to view life differently & improve how you show up for yourself. Believe me when I say that once you are able to make certain shifts in your mindset, the possibilities are truly endless for you. 

This is what I focus on a lot as a Mindset & Confidence Coach because I think it’s important. There are certain habits that we develop that we don’t even realize are actually holding us back, influencing how we feel & show up for ourselves. In being able to create the awareness around these certain behaviors + habits, you are going to start noticing how important all of these mindset shifts are. The best part is, all of these things are in your control & there are things that you can start implementing TODAY to really start making those shifts that you need.

Throughout this post, I am laying out the different things that you can start doing TODAY to start to improve your mindset & really make the shifts you need to start getting the most out of this life. Make sure you save this post & come back to it whenever you need any reminders to help keep you going! <3

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FOCUS ON WHAT YOU CAN CONTROL

The most powerful thing about improving your mindset is making sure that you are focusing on what you CAN control vs external factors that are outside of your control. I say this because a lot of the time, we get so caught up in the things that we can’t control & it can drive us crazy. So, it’s important to shift your mindset away from those external factors & back to yourself.

So..what exactly do I mean when I say “focus on what you can control”?

Think about the things that you normally get stressed out about, focus on, or even how you approach your goals. Are they things that depend on other people or situations that you have no control over? The answer is most likely, yes.

Related: How to start feeling like you are in control of your life

When you shift your mindset away from mainly focusing on those external factors & are able to focus on the things you are in control of, it can be life changing.

It’s important to understand & acknowledge that we can’t always control what happens to us, but we can control what we do moving forward. So, the very first thing that you must do if you are looking to improve your mindset is making sure that you are putting your energy into things that you are in control of. It can take some work to create that awareness, but once you do, it can make a world of difference.

ALLOW YOURSELF TO PROCESS EMOTIONS & RELEASE THEM WHEN NECESSARY

The thing about having a positive mindset, is a lot of people think this means that you are happy all the time & never feel negative emotions. But, that is actually the complete opposite! The difference is, rather than thinking that you have to be happy all the time, it’s important to be able to allow yourself to feel emotions. ESPECIALLY the negative ones. 

Related: How to Handle Stress & Overwhelm

This is important because it’s just not reasonable to think that you will ever get to a point where you never experience negative emotions. It’s all about creating awareness around negative emotions, understand what YOU need & allow yourself to process the emotions. Our first response to negative emotions is often to suppress them because as humans, we don’t like pain. But, it’s important to allow yourself to feel them & process them because you will be better able to move forward!

It’s also important to not beat yourself up when you do experience the negative emotions. Sometimes it can be easy to get frustrated with yourself for feeling negative emotions. But, it’s important to give yourself some grace & remember that it’s normal and a part of being human!

ABILITY TO SEE GROWTH & LEARNING OPPORTUNITIES

I wholeheartedly believe that everything happens for a reason and there are learning & growth opportunities within every situation. No matter how “bad” the situation might be, there’s always something to learn from it. 

Things like getting fired, your car breaking down, your wallet getting stolen- things like that. They are all situations that aren’t fun to go through. While it’s understandable to be frustrated, angry, worried, etc- there are always things that you can learn from these particular situations.

Think to yourself, “what can I learn from this experience”? Going back to the first point in this post, you have to go back to what you can control. You can’t control that it happened. 

Related: 5 Steps to Getting Back On Track & Shifting Your Mindset When Life Throws You Off

After you allow yourself to process the emotions, it’s time to start looking forward. What can you learn from this? How can you use this experience to move forward?

While it may seem like something that doesn’t seem reasonable, it is possible. Once you start creating the awareness & working on how you perceive situations & move forward, it is going to make things so much better. It’s all about perception.

CELEBRATE YOUR WINS

First, let me ask you this question: When was the last time you really took the time to celebrate everything that you’ve been able to accomplish?

When you read that question, you might of thought about those BIG accomplishments. While those are important to celebrate, it’s also important to celebrate those “small” accomplishments too along your journey.

I am a big fan of celebrating wins- especially those “small” wins along your journey because it can completely shift your mindset around how you are doing.  

Related: Why you should be celebrating all of your accomplishments

Here’s the thing- it’s really easy to get frustrated about all the things that you are not accomplishing. But, when you do that, you are focusing your mindset on “lack”. When you do that, you are missing all of things that you really have been able to accomplish. This can be discouraging because if you think that you are “failing”, you are not going to be motivated to continue trying. So, what this does is shifts your mindset away from all the things that you think you are “failing” at to all of the things that you are actually accomplishing. 

Every single “small” win needs to be celebrated because when you are focused on the things that you are accomplishing, this improves your mindset, how you view yourself & motivates you to keep moving forward. Now, take some time to celebrate yo self!

CREATE AN AWARENESS AROUND WHAT YOU COMPLAIN ABOUT 

Here’s the thing, most of us go about our days constantly complaining about things that are actually draining our energy. These things are again, usually out of our control & not worth getting yourself worked up about them.

For this, it’s important to create this awareness around the things you complain about so you understand where you are putting your energy. Being able to pinpoint the things that you complain about & where you put your energy will help you in being able to make the necessary steps towards improving your mindset.

Related: 9 Things To Stop Doing To Start Getting The Most Out of Life, 8 ways you are holding yourself back without even realizing it

What I recommend is start making it a point to take note of the things that you complain about throughout the day. Things like:

• Someone cutting you off while driving
• Someone walking too slow in the parking lot
• Something taking too long too load
• Anything that is happening the way that you want them too- these are typically seen as inconveniences

Once you create the awareness around what you catch yourself complaining about, ask yourself- is this worth getting all worked up about? Is this worth my energy? Usually, the answer is going to to be- no. Take a deep breath & allow yourself to move on.

This might take some time to get used to, but the first step is always creating the awareness & starting to create the habit. Once you do this, you’ll start noticing how much easier it is to protect your energy!

STOP BEATING YOURSELF UP & IMPROVE INNER DIALOGUE

Think about this, you talk to yourself the most out of everyone & we all tend to be our own biggest bully. We are hard on ourselves because we have high expectations & tend to compare ourselves to others. We have this view of who we should be & what we should look like. 

Do you stand in the mirror & pick apart your body?

Do you beat yourself up for falling short on a goal?

Do you beat yourself up for making an “unhealthy” decision- like eating a extra piece of pizza, having a bowl of ice cream or not doing something you told yourself you were going to do?

It’s great to have high standards for yourself & wanting to move forward, but nothing ever comes from beating yourself up. If they do, they probably won’t stick. Before anything can fall into place, you have to stop beating yourself up & start coming from a place of self love.

Related: 9 Simple Tips to Improve Your Life, Breaking Free From Society & Creating A Life You Love

Start by creating the awareness around when you are beating yourself up & reframing the dialogue. Start catching yourself when you are saying these things and challenge yourself to say a couple nice things about yourself & your body. 

This is a simple, but VERY important & effective exercise because once you change your mindset around how you view yourself, that’s when the real magic can happen.

It’s time to stop beating yourself up & start showing yourself some L O V E !

STAGNANT MINDSET VS GROWTH MINDSET

To pull all of this together, I am breaking down mindset in terms of stagnant mindset & growth mindset so you can see how important this shift really is! Really think about these things because I am sure there are a lot of ways in which you are engaging in a stagnant mindset. It happens to all of us, but I’m here to help you create awareness so you can really get into that growth mindset!

What is Stagnant Mindset & Growth Mindset?! Let me break it down for you. 🙂

STAGNANT MINDSET

With a stagnant mindset, you are focused on the things that will keep you exactly where you are. You might not be aware of some of these things, but these things are holding you back from being able to move forward. If you are feeling “stuck”, you are probably fully engaged in a stagnant mindset. No worries though! There are definitely ways to get out of it! But first, we must create an awareness so you know what to look out for.

Here are some ways you might be engaging in a stagnant mindset:

• You are constantly focused on “lack” aka the things that you don’t have, rather than on the things that you do have (money is a big one here!). It’s important to remember that focusing on “lack” will keep you in “lack”.
• You are complaining all the time about your situation & certain things/people that are being an inconvenience. Trust me, complaining doesn’t get you anywhere except making sure that you remain exactly where you are!
• You are being mean towards yourself & also towards others who are where you want to be. While it’s understandable that you might not be happy with where you are, being mean to yourself & towards others is only holding you back. 
• You are making excuses & refusing to do the things that you need to do in order to be able to move forward. Excuses show up all over the place & often show up in ways that make you believe that they are justifiable. However, they are just there to keep you exactly where you are, which is probably not where you want to be. 
• You see “setbacks” as “failures”. Failures are necessary & an important part of growth! If you are avoiding failure, you are avoiding getting to where you want to be. With every “failure” & “set back” comes with a very necessary learning experience & a breakthrough is right on the other side. Sure, it’s uncomfortable but it’s temporary! It’s an empowering experience to go through it come out on the other side stronger & more knowledgeable than before.
• You are primarily focused on external factors for happiness, “Once XYZ happens, THEN I will be happy”. If you are waiting for something to happen, you are going to be waiting forever. 
• You tend to be blind to the possibilities that are right in front of you, holding you back from moving forward. Combining everything that I mentioned above, you are actually unable to see all of the opportunities that are right in front of you because you are focused on the wrong things.

So, what do you get with a growth mindset? Let me do the honors of breaking it down for you!

GROWTH MINDSET

With a growth mindset, you are able to see the possibilities in front of you, able to see the learning & growth opportunities in situations, you are focused on growth & moving forward.

Here are some things that you will start to notice when you start cultivating a growth mindset:

• You are showing gratitude for the things that you DO have & what is on it’s way to you. With a stagnant mindset, you are focused on what you DON’T have. With a growth mindset, you are focused on showing endless gratitude for what you DO have & what is on the way to you. If you are focused on “lack”, you are always going to have “lack”. If you are focused on “abundance”, you are going to start noticing a shift in your overall energy & you are going to start manifesting even more.
• You allow yourself to see the growth & learning opportunities within difficult situations. Yes, difficult situations are hard to go through. There’s no way around that. However, I truly believe there’s learning experiences & growth opportunities within each situation. I encourage you to ask yourself, “What can I learn from this experience?” & “What can I carry with me from this experience moving forward?” I talk more in depth about this in my post about Adjusting Your Mindset When Bad Things Happen if you want more guidance on how to make this shift! 🙂
• You are able to see that a “setback” or a “failure” means that a breakthrough is about to happen. This means that you are able to see “failures” as a good things along your journey instead of something to avoid! This is a VERY powerful & important adjustment to make within your mindset. “Failure” is a good thing!!
• You are able to create awareness when you are being mean towards yourself, giving yourself grace & shifting the dialogue. I always tell you not to be mean to yourself, but the truth is, we are all human. A part of being human means that you thoughts will creep into your mind from time to time, but it’s important to be able to create the awareness & make a shift! Don’t be mean to yourself & give yourself some grace. <3
• You celebrate yourself & all the “small” accomplishments along your journey, acknowledging how far you’ve come. Even those “small” wins along your journey need to be celebrated! They keep you motivated & focused on how far you’ve come, rather than feeling like you haven’t gotten very far or focused on how far you still have to go.
• Focused on what you are in control of, rather than external factors that are not in your control. Focusing on what you are in control of in situations is very important because those external factors are going to drive you crazy & keep you stagnant. Within each situation, it’s important to be able to ask yourself if you are focused on what you are in control of & if there are other things that you can focus on that are in your control. Being able to see how much you are in control of is very empowering!

Do you see how powerful these shifts are in how you perceive situations & show up for yourself?! The things that you want are not too far out of reach. But, it all starts with shifting your mindset, because if you don’t, you will continue holding yourself back.

I hope this post was able to help open up your eyes to all the simple habits that you can break & the different things that you can start working on TODAY to really start to shift how you feel overall & show up for yourself. 

Life is an incredible journey. It’s full of incredible experiences, but there are also some not-so-great circumstances that can really throw a wrench into things. 

Like I’ve mentioned before, having a positive mindset isn’t about being able to be positive all the time. It’s actually quite the opposite. 

In implementing the tips that I talked about in this post & start to implement them on a daily basis, I guarantee that you will start to see & FEEL a difference. Negative emotions & situations are going to come up, but it’s important to allow yourself to experience them. Sometimes, it’s helpful to have someone to guide you through the process because it can be hard to work through on your own. If you would like someone to help guide you & hold you accountable, I invite you to check out my Mindset & Confidence coaching opportunities. This doesn’t have to be a discouraging & frustrating process, so don’t be afraid to reach out to me if you would like any support on this journey! <3

Also, make sure you check out my other resources!

>> click here to download my Ultimate Goal Setting & Planning guide
>> click here to learn more about my secret life changing check in system
>> click here to download my Step-by-Step Guide to Handling Stress & Overwhelm
>> click here to download my Self Care Planning Worksheet
>> click here to download my 50 journal prompts for self reflection & self discovery

Xx,
Coach Jessie Shibko