How to start feeling like you are in control of your life

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If you have found your way to reading this post, you might be finding yourself in a situation where you are feeling like life has kind of gotten out of control. This can look different for everyone because everyone has different experiences & are in different places in life. 

I know what it’s like to feel like everyone around you is seemingly getting their lives together & you’re struggling to get anything figured out. It can be frustrating & discouraging because all you want to do is get everything figured out but you don’t know how or where to go. 

It can feel uneasy to feel like you don’t have control of your life. Especially considering the year we have all had in 2020, it is completely understandable to feel like things have gotten a bit out of control. 

The new year is right around the corner and I want to give you some tips for getting yourself back to feeling like you are back in control! 

DO AN AUDIT ABOUT WHAT IS GOING ON. 

First, it’s important to allow yourself to slow down and really create that awareness around what is really going on. I always emphasize with my coaching clients that the first step is to create awareness because if you don’t have awareness, how are you supposed to know what to do?!

Related: How slowing down & taking time off can change everything / Signs you need to take a break, Getting Over Extreme Burnout, How unplugging can change your life

Ask yourself these questions:

  • Why do I feel like life is getting out of control?
  • What would like look like if I was in control?
  • How would I feel if I was in control of my life?

Really take the time to think about these questions. Maybe spend some time journaling about them to see if you can dig even deeper into these questions!

Related: The Power of Journaling, Journal Prompt For Self Reflection & Self Discovery

REVISIT YOUR GOALS.

After you take the time on answering those questions & creating awareness, it’s important to revisit those goals. Where do you really want to be moving forward?

Really take the time to look at them and make sure you have broken them down into actionable steps that you can start working on NOW. Focus on breaking them down into things that you are in control of, even if the end goal is in someone else’s hands.

For more guidance on setting goals for yourself, check out my post on How to finally start achieving your goals and download my FREE guide on 5 tips for crushing your goals!

When you set goals for yourself & actionable steps for achieving them, you are going to be more likely to feel like you are in control of your life! 

FOCUS ON YOUR MINDSET

Here’s the thing- your mindset can either help you move forward or it can help you stay exactly where you are. Trust me when I say that your mindset & what you are focusing on everyday is VERY important! 

For that reason, it’s important to make sure that you are focusing on what you are actually in control of. Often, we tend to focus on the aspects that we are not in control of & it ends up making us feel like we are completely not in control of our outcomes in life.

Related: Adjusting Your Mindset When Bad Things Happen, Getting through a quarter life crisis, My 8 step process to overcoming depression 

While a lot of things might seem like they are out of your control, it’s important to really think about what you are in control of. You might be confused because you don’t really think that there’s anything that you are really in control of. But, I want to challenge you on that. Challenge you to really dig deeper & think about the things that you are truly in control of. It might not be clear right now, but I promise it’s there!

Once you are able to see & focus on all the things you are truly in control of, your entire perception will change & things will finally start falling into place!

DO THE INNER WORK. 

In order to gain control of your life & remain in control, you have to be able to understand yourself. You have to understand how much you can handle & your warning signs that you need to take a step back.

This takes inner work. It takes taking the time to create an awareness about how you respond in certain situations. Once you are able to understand this first, the rest can fall into place. It may be something that you are sitting there thinking is something you can brush off, but you can’t.

You might not know it yet but this is incredibly powerful when you reach this realization!

If you need some guidance, check out my FREE Self Care Planning Worksheet & my 1:1 Coaching Opportunities! <3 

GIVE YOURSELF SOME GRACE!

Let me let you in on a very important secret- YOU ARE NOT ALONE! It is very easy to start beating ourselves up and thinking that we are the only ones going through this. But, the truth is, everyone feels like this!

Here’s another secret- if you want to move forward, you HAVE to be kind to yourself. Trust me, beating yourself up is getting to nowhere but keeping you right where you are.

Related: 8 ways you are probably holding yourself back without even realizing it, 9 things to stop doing to get the most out of life

When has beating yourself up ever gotten you to where you want to be?! Let me guess- NEVER! It’s just not productive. Self love,  being kind to yourself & doing the inner work is the secret to gaining control of your life & getting you exactly where you want to be!  

Take the recommendations in this post & I promise that things will start feeling like they are more in your control. I’ve already mentioned this, but I do offer 1:1 coaching and invite you to check out my opportunities if that is something that you would be interested in. Click here for more information on my 1:1 coaching opportunities! <3

>> click here to download my 5 tips for crushing your goals
>> click here to download my self care planning worksheet
>> click here to download my 50 journal prompts for self reflection & self discovery

You are SO worth it, my love!

Xx,
-Jess

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